The Reason For The Season

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Pier 1 Imports. All opinions are 100% mine.

This year marks Oona's first real, "conscious" Christmas season. She's finally noticed the profusion of Christmas decorations, the big kids caroling from house to house and the stuff we're buying and wrapping for friends and family.

Shopping with two kids and my mother in tow are both a fun experience and a nightmare as Christmas Eve nears. The malls are open until 12 midnight but the sheer volume of rabid shoppers will beat you down. So it helps to have a solid game plan when you're out and about: have a list, target a store, go in and out in ten minutes. Total TOLERABLE shopping experience a day: Two hours a location. Whew!
Going to Pier 1 helped a lot. I was able to get ideas for BOTH kids and grown-ups! I picked out a couple of great bargains I've both seen in-store and on the website! So hint, hint...if anyone still doesn't have something for me, take a peek here and rest assured, anything from here would send me to the moon :D

Although, the gift that is my fast growing up Oona is enough for my little momma's heart. She really did me proud! She picked out stuff that she thinks "our" friends would like, including wrapping paper we'd use to wrap the holiday gifts. She also thought of specific family members and offered her opinion on what she thinks they'd like ("That ____ is his/her favorite. He/She will like that, Mom!"). And best of all, when it came to the toys and goodies for other children, she merely asked for whom they were for and did not appropriate them for herself! She didn't even ask if there was anything for her. She was happy that we have things to give even to the carolers and the people going door to door asking for help and some holiday cheer. She would always proudly say with a huge smile, "Mom I gave the kids biscuits! I'm sweet!"

I'm happy to say that the true meaning of Christmas is living in my baby's heart. Sharing, giving and loving! We're teaching her that giving of ourselves is also a great gift, much more than the tinsel and the boxed gifts. Help continue this holiday cheer by supporting Toys for Tots by dropping off unwrapped toys and/or making cash donations at the Pier 1 register. OR, 'Like' Pier 1 Imports on Facebook! For every new fan they get, they will donate $1 to Toys for Tots. Make a lot of children happy with a new Christmas lovey to hug on Christmas morning!

Share the reason for the season! Happy Holidays all! :)

Toddler Theatrics

And the Award for Best Actress
in a Dramatic Role goes to....

My three year old has decided that life is her stage and she is determined to throw herself into the ultimate performance of her young life. Watching her, I'd have to say that she really does have potential to be her generation's best dramatic actress! She immerses herself so totally in her role that she IS the role! Her method of portrayal, her characterization, is so complete that she convinces her audience and herself of the reality and depth of the performance. All in all a powerful, moving and disturbing thing to watch.

For the first time in her life, our Oona has been afflicted with a mouth sore or singaw as we call it. And her 10 decibel pain, is my pain, is everybody's pain within a 3 mile radius.

She is The Pain.

We've all moved, as a family and as individuals, from various degrees of involvement and varying emotional reactions.

First, pity for the child who's never experienced the stinging pain of a mouth sore and its medications. Then, distress as she starts crying when it becomes unbearable for her to suffer in whimpering silence. Next, stress levels escalate in worry as nothing seems to soothe her anguish and a quick remedy isn't quick enough. Nerves begin to fray when one realizes that the child is playing it to the hilt. True it hurts but not enough to warrant full waterworks and each sentence to be punctuated by an empathic 'Owww!'. Extreme annoyance hits at this point when one realizes one has been had and the actress in question continues to ham it up for the audience that matters: Daddy (who gives in to demands to be carried around like a baby) and Grandpa (who hovers in worry, growling that his granddaughter is suffering and something MUST be done!).

Mommy and Grandma roll eyes and facepalms.

Normally when she does her whining and theater exercises, I run the gamut of talking to her through it, scolding, or ignoring it until she stops. On bad days when I'm running short on temper and she can't seem to stop, I get mad, we have a scream-fest and I ultimately send her to the corner. She usually stops, says she's sorry and says she's tired that's why she's starting to act up. We talk, make up and have quiet time or sleep.

This time, with the mouth sore, of course it's different.
Mouth sores are caused by bacteria and can happen to anyone. Oona bit her inner lip by accident and the little nip got infected. Falling asleep with her milk bottle still in her mouth and forgetting to brush her teeth did the rest. Yes, I do feel guilty for not being extra vigilant. Just this one time when I thought I could relax a little, the sore happens and we pay for it!

At first I made her gargle Bactidol, Listerine, and a salt and water solution. It was ok but then she seemed to get worse so we went to my dentist Aunt Grace who gave her an oral care gel. It seemed to work until night hit and her lip seemed to be swollen. By midnight, she couldn't fall asleep anymore as her mouth dried and as she yawned in sleep, the sore stretched and she kept waking up in pain. She even woke up Olly with her crying and as they both started crying, I wanted to cry too. It had been going on ALL DAY, the crying, whining, owww-ing...I was getting so irritated, I knew I'd reached my absolute limit. Poor RF woke up, dazed and tired because the little girls were crying and I was yelling for Oona to stop ("It's going to hurt you more!") but Oona was too far gone: really sleepy, tired, in pain, frustrated and unable to stop herself.

I wanted to go out in the middle of the night to try and find the new-fangled instant remedy that I saw at the drugstore earlier. I would have bought one right then just to give Oona some relief and us some peace, but it was out of stock. RF and I were looking at each other, my extreme annoyance breaking into exasperation and inexplicably, I felt a stupid smile on my face. The things they don't tell you about parenthood! Haha.

Desperate times. We decided for desperate measures.

I was hoping not to have to resort to the all-time favorite, old-skool remedy of putting ground tawas (alum) on the sore or gargling with it in salt and water. Hurts like h*ll but the sore would be banished in an instant. I was afraid it might further traumatize her, but in this case, prolonging the pain was probably worse. Plus, she woke up the whole household, growling Grandpa included ("Tell your Aunt to give her the strong medicine! It'll hurt once and then she'll be fine! Tawas doesn't work!").

Aunt Gly was thoughtful enough to give us a mixture already prepared with kalamansi. She squeezed kalamansi juice over ground alum and when it dried, it looked like golden brown sugar crystals. Oona was screaming, her theatrics turning into hysterics when I asked her to open her mouth for the medicine. I told her it was going to hurt but it would utlimately make her feel better.

Just a pinch but it *did* hurt like hell. And if she could swear, Oona would have put a sailor to shame and I would have grounded her for life for being a potty mouth. But all she bravely did was keep her mouth open like I asked her to while I put on the tawas, RF holding her while she cried and cried and cried :(

After a few moments, we had her gargle with water to wash out the alum. And almost instantly, the pain began to fade as her lip went numb. In a few minutes, she was quiet and when I asked her if she felt better, she was already able to reply (whimperingly) yes.

Sigh.

It took two more applications before the sore was gone completely. She still cried and groused about having to put medicine that she knew would hurt, but she was very brave and trusting enough to let me put it on her.

Writing this down now, I feel like I want to cry. It sometimes sucks to be the one to dole out the tough love. Deep down, even while she thrashed, yelled and cried, Oona trusted my word that what I would do would heal her even if it hurt her badly. Her faith in me makes me feel so small and humble. I'm sorry that it hurt or that she had to have that sore in the first place, but I'm sorrier I have to hurt her first to make her feel better.

Now she knows better than to go to bed with a bottle and without brushing. She drinks more water, especially after eating and drinking milk or juice. She says it's so her teeth will be happy and her mouth won't have germs anymore.

We now have some peace, of course and she's her sweet but spicy little self again as opposed to Olly's totally sweet nature. Her theatrics have gone back down to almost nil or only when she hasn't had her afternoon naps. What hasn't changed though, I've noticed, is that the theatrics come on when Daddy's around or Grandpa's eligible to be dragged outside to play.

Whenever that happens, I leave the menfolk to her "tender" mercies and I tune out to save my sanity! After all, that doesn't require tawas and Mommy's tough love to deal with.

Own Your Beauty, My Babies! Starting My Girls Early :)

Blogher.com came out with a campaign to change the way conversation goes when beauty is the subject. I blog about it too at Living Lusciousness. It sits so close to my heart because I'm on a personal journey to claim my own beauty from low self-esteem, bad body image and a lifetime of distorted beauty concepts. Usually, conversation centers around stereotypical concepts of beauty: "Am I pretty enough?", "Am I white or tanned enough?", "Am I skinny enough?", "Are my breasts/butt/waist/nose/height/weight/etc okay?"...

Ah, the perception of perfection. Isn't it about time we stop measuring ourselves against other people's perception of beauty?

It helps to know I'm not alone and that women all over the world are learning that it's never too late to love oneself and touch other people's lives in beautiful, positive ways. It's so heartening to note that some beauty products in the market are taking note of this surging campaign where the emphasis is on celebrating YOU, your successes, dreams and your authentic self regardless of age or ethnicity.

I know, they're trying to sell beauty in a bottle, but the message emphasis is at least on healthier living, taking care of yourself and appreciating yourself. (Let's not delve deeper than that into marketing and sales strategies, okay?) At least they're not hard-selling (that much) anymore.

On the issue of personal beauty, I've long established myself the guardian against shackling my kids to stereotypical perceptions of beauty that culture inadvertently inflicts on young minds. I don't dress them up in age-inappropriate clothes or shoes for the sake of looking trendy. Revealing tube tops, miniskirts and backless blouses?! They might catch cold or dengue. Or worse, the eye of some pedophile. Heels on kids damage their developing legs and hips, people! Unless they really need it, medically speaking! Grown women can't tolerate heels all that well either, what makes you think your toddler can?!

On that note, have you seen Toddlers and Tiaras? It's a reality-based show where beauty pageant kids are featured with their parents and the lengths they go to win. Some are as young as two years old. They are made-up, primped, bleached, put on diets and pressured to perform. The kids' baby voices asking if they're pretty enough would break your heart! The parents say that it's what the kids want, but are they even old enough to decide that? Or are they merely convinced that it's what they want because their parents have drilled it into their heads? I don't want to judge but there has to be a line somewhere. You don't just project your illusions on your kids. It's just plain wrong. Childhood is fleeting enough without you speeding it up for them!

I also steer the conversations around them AWAY from meaning-laden comments that imply sexiness or comparison with other kids ("You're so sexy!" or "You're prettier than her!"). I could get really obnoxious especially with negative stereotyping comments ("Her bridge is not high enough!" or "You're too brown!") that usually come from other people outside our usual circle. I try being polite but I'd rather be called sensitive than have ideas put into my kids' heads as tabula rasa as they are. I mean, come on, Oona's three years old and Olly's 9 months old, do we have to impose perceptions of adulthood and sexiness this early? They're only just starting gender identification, for crying out loud!

I want my kids to be proud of their strong, healthy bodies that they own and use to celebrate the life they choose with joy. I want them to be happy that they can sing, dance and play. I want them to be confident and brave enough to face the world in the healthy skin they're in, with bright shining eyes, tossing their hair, straight or curly, in the breeze, breathing through functional noses, laughing and smiling, secure in their uniqueness.

I want them to be able to focus on character rather than physical characteristics, on intellect and emotional maturity rather than if they can join beauty pageants. Sure, many would say I'm only saying this because I already know my kids have an edge over others since they're pretty, lively and bright as new pennies (Imma proud momma!). All the more should any parent be vigilant lest misplaced values go to their heads and we'll be sorry for it when they're older.

The world we live in judges by looks, that's true. But that only goes so far. You can't pretend to be more than just a face or a body for long. Sooner or later, the face value fades and bodies sag and if there's no substance to hold who you are up, it's a sad day for you.

Let's teach the kids that they better have something else to sustain them through anything that comes their way after wrinkles or an intellectual challenge appears!

And if joining a beauty pageant comes to be part of their personal journey, let it be for the right reasons and their choice rather than my own projections of frustrated dreams.

In the meantime, let's let them be kids and cherish their childhood as it should be cherished, teaching them to own their unique beauty and individual perfection!

Mommy's Little Big Helper

I promised Oona that we'd allocate some space in our room for us to "practice schooling". Going to a big school is a dream of hers and "practicing" for it is her motivation for a lot of things. I'm teaching her that preparing for it is just as important as actually going. This means practicing her listening skills, learning how to follow rules and instructions, and putting things in their proper places among other things.

So a few weeks ago, we fixed up a corner in the room to be our designated "school area". I told her she'd best help me because it's part of getting ready to go to a real school. The room was a holy mess anyway with all her stuff strewn about, so now was as good a time as any! We brought out her little plastic worktable and chairs and I let her have my collapsible storage boxes to put all her things in.

Fixing up!

She picked up all her stuff, segregated the hard toys from the soft toys and put the legos, puzzles and blocks in their respective "houses" (containers where they 'live') . She even helped me fix her books and put aside those that Olly could already inherit.

That done, we threw away broken toys, junk paper and debris, swept and mopped; and put her baby dolls to sleep on top of the toy boxes.

I guess that activity helped concretize a lot of things for her, two major concepts I was gunning for being the importance of preparation and helping out.

Nowadays, she's taken up other ways of helping without any prompting from anyone. I know that half of that helpfulness comes from curiosity and wanting to be involved in absolutely everything (sometimes to the point of exasperation on my part!). But what makes my little momma's heart swell with motherly love and pride is when she says she wants to help and you know she just really wants to.

'Mom, I want to help wichoo!', then off like a shot sometimes without even waiting for me to answer. Often like predictive text, she'll just hand me whatever she's previously observed me needing for that particular activity she's assisting me with. Mostly it's with taking care of Olly and cooking noodles she likes to help me out with. She'd get me diapers and wipes, advise me to put jelly on her sister's butt ('So no rashes, Mom!') and distract olly with funny faces or a toy while i wrestle a diaper on. When it's reading time, she'd get a book for herself and one for olly.

Recently, Olly fell off the bed while I was so weak from a really bad tooth pain. Oona scrambled out of bed and marched calmly downstairs to inform Lola that she needed the ice pack because Olly fell. She also got me medicine and a water bottle because my teeth hurt. She recommended I brush my teeth so that they'll be happy too; after which, she insisted on being Doctor Oona and put the medicine in my mouth and giving me water to drink. Then she kissed little sobbing Olly and said, 'It's okay, sweetheart!'.

I wanted to cry! I haven't totally been a monster at all *sniff* Seems I'm doing something right!



Assistant Chef Oona



She likes to participate in cooking too, whether it's helping Lola peel vegetables, piling the chopped vegetables in a bowl or putting the peelings in a container for the organic waste bin. With me, she's in charge of the spice rack and handing me the noodles or macaroni to put in boiling water. I let her stir on occasion too when there's no danger of anything hot spilling. Watching Safety Patrol on Playhouse Disney helps a lot because she's very careful and conscious about safety measures around the house. She also tries to help wash dishes with Daddy (she's in charge of putting them on the dish rack to dry), holding the dust pan when Lola cleans the floor (Oona bids for the broom or mop but she makes more of a mess) and helps fold and put away our clean laundry. She sometimes wears our clean laundry on her head first or pretends that the socks are long gloves. She's still a baby, after all! Play is still a central part of her life!

Oona also packs away after playing, turns off the tv after watching and makes sure her shoes and slippers are neatly in their proper place. She sets the table, puts water from the dispenser in the drinking glasses and calls everyone to the table to eat.

Automatically, she shares anything she eats with Olly who is now a very adventurous eater ('Mommy, pwede kay Olly ato?' or 'Mommy can Olly eat this?') and puts her bowl in the sink when she's done. She volunteers to change Olly too when I'm getting them ready for bed. Of course she can't, but she manages to help get pyjamas for both of them, take Olly's shirt off, put dirty clothes in the hamper ('Dirty na 'to, Mommy?') and change her own clothes.

Gosh...

I can go on and never finish this entry as every day brings a new revelation. Little things to us other people but accomplishments to her and milestones worthy of pride for me. They may be everyday, ordinary things but it's showing me that my little girl is not only practising for her school days, she's really getting ready for independent life in general. I can only hope I do a good enough job of equipping her for that!

Now if I can be sure that I'll be ready for her independepence! Ayayay! :)

Monkey See, Monkey Do



My baby's growing up!
Seriously considering what
she likes from the menu at Pizza Hut.



Nowadays, I see a lot of signs that my three year old is truly growing by leaps and bounds. When they say that children are sponges and clean slates, I think no further than Oona as proof. And growing up around a 'colorful' group of adults is certainly adding to her growing repertoire of character quirks.

Getting frustrated earlier because her slippers wouldn't stay on her foot, she exclaims, 'What the hey?!' (That's from me.) *Sigh*

Watching cartoons, she non-chalantly crossed her legs in so lady-like a manner, you'd think she was having tea with the queen. (My mother.)

Building a tower of blocks to an unsustainable height, the structure crashes because the fan blew on it. She lets out a roar of anger at the fan, saying, 'You see?!' Then she stomps away to a sulk on a chair. (Anything I say now, can and will be used against me...so I will keep my peace!)

I so worry all the time that she would be thrust into social situations wherein her "performance" would be scrutinized and when she's not at her best, she'll be punished for it. Of course, I'm terrified I'll be blamed for it and judged! Tell me, who isn't? I'm actually afraid that I might not be a good enough mom for her and she suffers for my negligence!

I don't want to be a helicopter parent though, so I'm trying my best not to be anal retentive. You know, just be cool...and not panic when she pretends not to listen or throws a drama queen fit.

*Sigh* AGAIN.

Needless to say, it's not all bad habits that she absorbs. So imagine my relief...



With Olly and Lolo Lem

 When Olly cries, Oona hurries over and coos, "It's okay, Olly! Don't cry, my sweetheart!" And pats and kisses her.

When friends and family came to visit, she trundles out the biscuits, bread and pesters me for candy. I thought at first it was because she wanted to eat them all, but I was speechless when she offered them to our guests and said, "For you. Please come eat at the table." (Proud mommy moment!)

She also sees departing guests to the door, saying "Goodbye! Take care!".

When at the grocery, she would get yogurt for herself and then say she wants another one "for her uncle because it's his favorite too!" Then proceeds to get stuff from the shelves that she knows the other people on the family would like and calls them her "Surprise!".

*Sigh* I could go on all day about the incredible things she's done and said, but I'm tearing up already! :)

So okay, I think I remember more happy, positive imitations that Oona does of the people around her. Thank goodness! Writing them down helps remind me that she's going to be okay.

I guess, the important thing is to call out and process the negative stuff with her in such a way that she understands. Then affirm and applaud the positives. :) AAAAAnd remember to be on our best behaviour all the time too! Role modeling is the best teaching aid there is.

Lolz...When I was young, I wanted to be a commercial model. I still do...but little did I know I'd be one as a mother to my daughters! Role-modeling!

Now if only I could learn to be less anxious if I'm doing a good job of raising good people! I wonder if that can ever happen as long as I'm a mom! :)

Identity Crisis: Reinventing Me

I know that something major has happened in my life when I find myself building my proof of identity from ground zero. I don't mean just paperwork, but the little components that make up who I am are reinvented, reshuffled and remade.



College Me

 Declaration Of Independence

Leaving home to be my own woman let me claim who I was and build on the foundations I was laying. It helped me clarify the blurry lines between me and other personalities I unconsciously projected but were not really ME.

I fully realized this molding of identity the first time I saw a huge rat in the very first house I rented as an independent woman. I was broke, the room was a god-awful mess with half-unpacked boxes and that rat was shocked that I had moved in. Guess he didn't get the memo. Haha :D Gross, I know but I felt content. MY RAT. MY ROOM. MY MESS. :D

Prior to that were the usual pressures of school and peers for identity but nothing really solid that I can fully claim as my own. You could say I've been trying out clothes from the rack and while some did look good on me, they really weren't my style. So by the time I was able to move out, I was more than ready for some tailor fitting.

Our Anniversary Layout
I framed this as a triptych and gave it as a gift to rf.

Then, I Got Married.

Who knew that marriage could be such a legal headache? Proving who I was and tracking each and every paper of proof that I am myself took forever! Then, I had to change my name on all those pieces of paper, which again, took forever and a day. I remember asking myself if those scraps really defined my existence. Legally, yes. (Thanks to that experience, I never underestimate the value of a piece of paper again.)

Other than the legalities, I had to wrap my brain around being someone's wife too. Compromises need to be made and one's quirks have to be outgrown or at least thoroughly discussed. I wasn't wholly my own woman anymore, going where and when I please. Complete control over my life wasn't something I had for long, and just when I thought I was getting the hang of it, I found that I had to relinquish some of it when I signed the dotted line. That took some getting used to!

Okay, not that I regret it, mind you. Marriage gave me new ways in which to grow and surprisingly for me, discover that I wouldn't be as restricted as I thought I'd be. Maybe it's also because RF has been very supportive and understanding through all the stresses we've muddled through together. I'm thanking my lucky stars I didn't marry a lemon and I haven't yet prayed for divorce to be legalized in this country!

Ground Zero: The Day You Find Out You're Preggo



First few weeks of Oona's life.
Had to drink Duphaston (those white things)
to help her hold on in my womb.

 One milestone I thought marriage would prepare me for was the inevitable role of motherhood. But getting pregnant and giving birth to Oona opened up an entirely new dimension in my character development. I never really thought there could be so many things to being a mother! Nothing is too small, insignificant or inconsequential, everything affects you and your child! 

Once again, everything is erased and it all starts in your head. You build yourself again with this new factor whose variables are exponential.

Example: I never used to be afraid of germs, strangers or be so deeply concerned about the environment, politics or finances. Now, I'm all about what these things could mean for my kids' future. I never really thought I'd be a mom, actually, but the things that suddenly concern me never cease to amaze me. There's a new one every day! Like today, I think I'm turning into the bad word patrol and I'm trying to find a good explanation why 'What the hey!' still isn't good even when you don't say 'hell'.

I'm also finding out that I thought I'd be all progressive and modern parenting but I'm more traditional than I actually suspected. I suddenly have issues about everything! I even have anxiety attacks about things that haven't happened or can only happen in the remotest possibility. Like, if I could put in a GPS microchip on each kid of mine, I would! (But I might be damaging them for life so I don't know.) Maybe just teach them to go for the jugular if anyone dares harm a hair on their heads.

***

My little girls clwoning around!

Anyhoo, it never ceases to amaze me how many times one has to reinvent oneself just as you were getting comfortable with who you are at the moment.

Like now, I find that reinvention happens everyday especially around kids. It's totally crazy and I don't know how I manage it, but I do.

I have to.

When babies depend on you, it's a whole different ball game, a whole different level of involvement. It's not just your future hanging on the balance anymore. Who I am means so much more than my own reasons for building an identity. It's the foundation I build to raise good human beings.

(Whoa. Intense much?!)

Bedtime Snuggles

Right now I'm once again squashed between a rolly polly Olly and fast-growing coltish Oona, all rosy cheeked and gangly legs. Under a thick yellow comforter, we snuggle together for our afternoon nap. Christmas is just around the corner and it's drizzling outside, so even though the A/C's on low, it's nippy enough to warrant the cozy, soft nest we made with the comforter.

As the kids doze off, I remember how it was when I was a kid. My grandmother had a huge bed in her large airy room. She had a pink chenille bedspread that I always fell asleep on. I was supposed to slip under it but it was so inviting to roll around on. There was a bamboo grove right outside the window and since the wind would rustle through the leaves, I was asleep before I knew it. I always woke up refreshed and ready for play.

Sugar (Olly) and Spice (Oona)
right before the afternoon nap :)

On my next shopping expedition, I'm thinking of getting more of these beddings. Not only are they lovely to snuggle in with the babies, they also make great caves for little bears (or tigers, Oona says) and padding for Olly who loves sliding from the bed to the floor. Since I have the plain and floral ones, I'll get a polka dot comforter next with different colored circles in different sizes. Olly is into prints right now and it's also how I taught Oona shapes when she was Olly's age.

My daughters are deep in slumber now. I'm actually using my cellfone to type this as they're snuggled up to me that I can't move without waking them up. *Sigh* I'm nearly ready to doze off myself! It's so comfy here with their fresh baby scents enveloping me and the warmth of our nest. Maybe, I'll snip off a little piece of this comforter when it's past its prime and keep it in a keepsake box. That way, I'll have something tactile to keep the memory of our wonderful times together.

I really wonder how my kids would remember their afternoons with me when they're older. Right now, I'd like to take this moment and this feeling of contentment, wrap it up and keep it in my heart. When I'm old and gray and feeling lonely, all I have to do is take out that memory and feel the warmth again. I love these girls so much!

The Luscious Dare: L-Carnitine and Green Tea, Grapeseed Oil and Malunggay

I decided to lose weight to keep up with the demands of having a toddler and baby running around the whole day. I hated being sluggish and how cranky I was from having such low energy. Having come from childbirth and its complications, poor diet, no exercise and being overweight to begin with, it was high time for a change and reclaim my life from unhealthiness.

With eating smart, eating right and balancing my diet, I decided to support my weight loss with health supplements as my body had just come from childbirth and I am still breastfeeding Olly. It is important not to deprive the body as it could do more harm than good. Instead of getting your natural metabolism in gear, it could slow down further as your body thinks it's being deprived due to a famine. It's a normal response of the body protecting itself and why crash diets don't work in the long run. You stand to gain twice what you initially lost. You may think it's working but what you're losing is just water and mass.

L-Carnitine and Green Tea Extract seemed to be my best bet as I needed the energy boost and the anti-oxidant. I was apprehensive about it at first but a quick email to my OB put my mind at ease. She even sent me this link and surprised me by saying pregnant and breastfeeding mothers do need the supplement as these are high energy activities. Even babies needed l-carnitine that they get from breastmilk! Sometimes the body expends more than is produced because of this, so capsule intake may be prescribed.

I did not want to take just any supplement with appetite suppressants as eating less would interfere with my breastfeeding. So I decided on Luxxe Slim as it only had l-carnitine and green tea and no other unfamiliar ingredients in their formulation.

L-Carnitine converts body fat to fuel, metabolizes sugars, starches, and other carbohydrates. It promotes good circulation of the kidney, pancreas, good digestion and replenishes bone mass. Protects the heart from damage, clears the bloodstream and can be used to supplement breastfeeding mothers.

Green Tea's antioxidant qualities promote increased metabolism and fat oxidation, detoxification, enhances immunity and has cancer prevention properties.

Luxxe Protect's Grapeseed Oil on the other hand is 20 times more potent than Vitamin C and 50 times more powerful than Vitamin E.

It is good for the skin and vision and is an antihistamine, anti-inflamatory and lowers cholesterol level.

Malunggay or Moringana Olifeira capsules are packed with natural multi-vitamins many times over than artificial multi-vitamins. It also promotes lactation and keeps up my milk supply for Olly.

Calcium and Iron multivitamins are also usually needed as I'm a breastfeeding mom. Most of my supply are being transferred to Olly that's why my teeth, bones and hair are suffering for it. My period also resumed after being absent for so long so I need to build up my iron reserves. I felt so weak and dizzy on my first day from the blood loss!

Luckily though I've been taking malunggay. Imagine how weak I would have felt if I wasn't. After my period stops, I can stop the extra calcium and iron and just stick to the malunggay and other supplements.

So far, these are the supporting health supplements I take with lots of water and a regulated diet.

How Do I Feel?

With the extra vitamins, nutrients and anti-oxidants flooding my body for about a week now, I definitely feel better. During the first few days though, when my body began to give up the toxins it had accumulated, I had a cold. I also itched, sweat a lot, felt tired, sleepy and cranky. My period also resumed after several months of amenorrhoea.

I read up that the colds, the sweating and the skin itching I had were due to the normal expulsion of toxins. Our skin and respiratory systems are organs that help eliminate our body's waste. My sleepiness and lack of energy was due to my monthlies whose recurrence I would put down to the metabolic boost the supplements gave my body. After all, that's part of the body's cleansing process.

After my body got used to the new balance of things, I felt much lighter, cleaner and definitely less cranky. Losing 5lbs worth of toxins after a week is definitely progress! :D I can't wait to see how much I lose again after another week!

Previous: How To Start
Next: The Diet

The Luscious Dare: How To Start

Before I even started on this, I had to prepare myself mentally and physiologically. I didn't want to start abruptly and then stop because I thought up of an excuse I could live with or physically, my body would be in cahoots with my reasoning and feel *something* even vaguely justifiable. Yes, I am playing mind games with myself. If this sounds crazy, it's not a result of a starved brain. This is a normal day in my head.

Seriously, any venture has to be thought out before it's started. Especially the ones that require this much commitment. You have to be sure that you'll stick to it no matter the setbacks you'll encounter, criticisms you'll hear or the impatience you might feel over time. Why you are doing this has to be crystal clear and embedded firmly in your mind. In my case, I do this for my kids. I want to be more for them, to live longer and better so that they can have more out of life!

Of course I talk about it in dieting and health terms but it is also applicable to the other changes in my life that I am preparing to undergo. :)

Physical preparations included getting my OB's go signal to diet and use supplements while I breastfeed. Never start dieting, taking supplements or medication and going on an exercise regimen without consulting your GP, OB and other specialists if you have a condition. Anything is possible by human will but you have to be sure the body is willing too!

To say it's all in the mind would be correct. You have to get your mind right first :)

I find that making a list helps me keep things in perspective. So here's my list for a good start.

1. Set your goal.
Reach as far as you can! Aim for the stars! Put in a crazy number if you like but just be aware that you shouldn't have unreasonable expectations.

2. Be clear about your motivation.
Why you are doing this, why you are daring yourself to make a change. More importantly, are you doing this for yourself or for someone else's idea of who you should be? Address your issues and don't be afraid to face them once and for all.


3. Commit to a time line.
Again, be reasonable and leave room to adjust. Be sure it's a schedule you will be able to live with. I would suggest nothing too radical so that whatever you do would be able to mesh well with the rest of your normal everyday activities.


4. Create a reward.
Claim it when you achieve your goal. Though your good health is the best reward you could ever have, material rewards are also good :) A dress, an event or even a trip where you can flaunt your hard-earned change!


Health First!



5. List down the steps you will take.

Evaluate accordingly. Is it safe? Is it feasible, reasonable and achievable? Don't set yourself up to fail by being unreasonable.

6. List what you should avoid.
This not only means bad, unhealthy food, but bad habits that don't contribute to your goal as well.


7. Enlist the help and support of friends and family.
Having a support group will help you through the tough early days when you're just starting to break habits and when you feel like giving up.

8. Check in with your doctor.
Your health and safety is of paramount importance. Have a complete check up and let them know your plans. Bring along whatever medication or supplement you wish to use. Ask for recommendations and advice.


9. Be ready for the adjustments your mind and body will make.
At first it won't be good as your body eliminates toxins with the help of the supplements, the healthy diet and activities. You'll also experience mood swings as you detoxify. It's only temporary. Stick to your guns and know that it's the bad stuff coming out of your system.


10. Start.

I know it sounds like a long list but these are the stuff I started with. It's my way to throw myself completely into this "project". I study, read, prepare and prepare some more. I am committed and the two major reasons for this are sleeping sweetly as I type this to seal the commitment. This is parenting and motherhood for me, striving to be the best I can be for these kids.

If I can do it, I'm sure you can too! :D

Previous: The Luscious Dare
Next: The Supplements

My Body Is Really A Wonderland

With apologies to the songwriter :) But yes, to my kids it is their own wonderland, strictly membership access only.

As I write this on my mobile, it is close to afternoon nap time. We spend winding down time in bed as it's easier for them to nod off. Oona sings to herself, reads her picture books or pops up with random questions, comments and stories to tell briefly before she sleeps. Olly practices standing up and maneuvering her body while gumming anything she can get her mouth around.

My place is between them. I lie in the middle of the bed or else they'd wind up playing together instead of winding down to sleep. And inevitably there would be crying because they accidentally hurt each other and they're too tired to be forgiving. Nevertheless, they both are doing their own thing snuggled up to me.

I become trampoline, bridge, jungle gym, monkey bars, swing set and bean bag. My head is Olly's activity ball with my eyes, ears, mouth, nose and hair to be poked, prodded, examined, peered at, pushed, pulled, pinched and slobbered over.

Of course there's the requisite love bites, head butts, flying kicks, elbow jabs, sucker punches and gut busting tackles the sweet little girls don't mean to hurt. I don't know if any little boy could be more rambunctious than these two!

It's like what my good friend Armin said when I was griping about not being able to wear heels anymore. She reminded me that we just traded one body ache for another. Wearing heels and carrying our babies are both bad for our backs and h*ll on our hips but we love 'em anyway.

Then, when they have finally expended all that energy and sleep claims their eyes, I am pillow, blanket and lovey with babies piled all over me. Did I mention I'm also teether, feeding bottle and nursing companion?

I am my children's wonderland.

I'm Feeling A Bit Put-Out

Motherhood and making a home can sometimes feel like you're living in isolation.

Take today for instance. Since I'm housebound and the 98% willing prisoner of my darling duo, I try to have a life online. So opening my various social networking websites, I find status messages littered with the excitement of having a life offline. Events, dates, trips, shopping sprees, spa adventures, parlor appointments, marathons, book sales, seminars, forums, lessons and cooking classes. You name it, I've probably read about it on someone's status message.

And I am green with envy and blue with longing.

It didn't use to be this way. Probably that's why sometimes the funk hits me extra hard.

Time either flies or stops
when you're a SAHM.

Staying home was an unforseen development in my present incarnation. I quit working when circumstances pulled the rug from under me but I really opted out of pursuing anything career-oriented afterwards. After all, I've been working for almost half my life so I felt it was as good a time as any to "retire" for awhile. I stayed home to raise the girls and be homemaker, mommy and wife. No yaya. After the episode with Oona's willful yaya, I'm fine with asking help from my mom and sister. (If the girls are going to pick up any bad habits, let it be mine. I'm working on not having any too, by the way! Helluva job, but that 'What the hey!' Oona picked up from me means trouble in the future, I just know it.)

Stripping away the work element exposed more woodwork and forced me to really define myself without the external veneer of the titles I used to hold. It wasn't easy and it scared me at first. Working had been most of my life and gave my days purpose. What and who would I be without it?

Embracing the change took awhile and it's still a work in progress. Generally I'm happy to say I have never felt lighter in years. I was surprised that I would come to look at it as an exciting interlude. An adventure before another adventure begins, after the kids are grown and I can do some serious damage to the creative world again.

But then there are days like these when life out of the career lane feels like the world is just passing me by. The mommy lane feels faster sometimes when I have to deal with running after the girls, running after schedules, running the house and most often, running late with everything! Always running. Then suddenly everything quiets down and I fall right smack into this funk when I realize that all that running I do is in a small circle revolving around the girls.

My life is a one-ring circus. Sometimes. Like today.

*Sigh* I think I'll go lobby for a hug. Offline.

No Awards For Me Yet

Hubby's on a business trip, I'm on a diet and me and the babies are sniffly, coughing and feverish.

Sick kids love being babied and my girls are like any other kid in the world. They're fussy, drooly, snotty and will generally drive you insane. They wake up all hours of the night and when they BOTH have fevers, you run the whole gamut of human emotion from annoyance, pity and exasperation to joy and relief when the temperature goes down. Now when they both cry, you either run for the hills or pick them both up.

Such was my drama for the past week. Daddy was in Malaysia for work so when my mom, dad and sister are asleep, it's for me to stay up and be Florence Nightingale. I also started my diet so adjusting to the new state of my food intake has shortened my temper and patience. I still count the three times I lost it this week as progress though. With the usual stresses coupled with the new factors present, I think I did pretty okay. (Just don't ask my mom who's usually the witness to my tirades.) More often than not, Oona and discipline issues are what get me really fired up. She doesn't mean to be willful, but she's quite the little chatter box pixie! I swear she wears me down! It's frustrating for me that I can barely keep up with her speed and energy.

She makes me think of actually getting a nanny. My mom, on the other hand, reminded me that if I lose patience with Oona, I can't expect the nanny to have more of it than I can give. That's true, that's why I've been working on my temper issues. Not for the nanny, but for Oona, so that I can teach her how to properly channel her frustrations, tantrums and hyperactivity. And not fly into a passion as I and others in the family are wont to do.

Children are really mirrors of how well we act. They can't help it, they will imitate and emulate what they see and hear from the established role models. Being parents, it's our responsibility to set good examples of the values we want them to grow up with. We watch every word, every action and every scenario to block out the bad, affirm every good lesson and run a darn good explanation why some things are contradictory to what you teach but are still okay. Like, it's bad to say "What the hey!" when she says it but it's better than saying "What the h*ll!"...So much for pressure, huh?

I'm really envious of moms and dads who are so in the parenting zone. Even RF's more in the zen of parenting than I am, although I still think the girls have him wrapped around their little fingers. It's exasperating how Oona would appeal to his softer nature with tears in her eyes and wobbly lip after I dissuade her from something. It's adorable but exasperating :) I keep saying I'm the court of last resort and no one's higher than the Supreme Court. Not even the grandparents, my parents, can top my decisions regarding them.

While I do understand that I'm teaching Oona that there are limits and rules, I still lament the fact that I deplore my own short fuse.

I want Oona to be better at life than I am but she seems to be growing up faster than I'm maturing. Don't you ever wonder who's really raising who? Is it you bringing the kids up or other way around? I can't say it's her fault for being my first born, my first foray into parenting and it's her luck to be the guinea pig. It shouldn't be like that and I find it a poor excuse or reason.

Maybe someday I'll find that I did do right by her and Olly and that my trying to be a good parent worked after all. Maybe someday I can look forward to those "Best Mommy Awards" and feel that I really do deserve it. For now, all I can do is try to wing it one day at a time, hold on to my temper, stretch out my patience (diet or no diet) and understand that though it may be my first time to parent, it's Oona's first time being a kid and I should show her that it's great to be one!

Good Cop, Bad Cop

I hate being bad cop.

Like today, Oona cried herself hoarse while yelling 'Sorry Mommy! I'm sorry!' from the corner I sent her for a time out. Before that, she was pretending to cry so she could get me to fetch the hankie I was telling her to get to wipe her runny little nose with. She said she didn't want to go because there was a monster. It was broad daylight, a few yards from where I was but I wanted her to get it as I told her to keep it with her because she had colds. Then she started to fake crying with matching tears, saying she couldn't find it when I knew she didn't even try. Any other day her drama queen act would have merited an exasperated laugh and a compromise, processing the monster thing, but I just got so pissed with the fake crying, I swear. I smacked her bottom soundly and sent her to the corner, trying to ignore her while she cried for real and shouted her apologies for not behaving.

Sigh.
I'm the mommy monster.

I know I sound harsh and she's a sweet little kid. I honestly think I can manage better than losing my temper, but I still haven't found the secret to making a willful three year old yield to me without a battle of wills.

Rf tries to comfort me by saying I have to be bad cop because I use tough love better than he does. He should know, cos he's such a push over when it comes to the girls. He's wrapped around their little fingers! He tells me that they do need to learn discipline and the gravity of the consequences when they don't behave, stick to the rules or don't listen.

I really wish kids could listen and reason like adults do but then, they wouldn't be kids. I just have to learn not to be reduced to the EQ level of a bean when my patience deserts me. She really doesn't have authority issues, it's just that Oona's three years old. That's all. And it's all I have to remember.

After she relatively calmed down, we talked, hugged and kissed. I also said sorry for yelling, spanking her bottom and getting mad. She said it didn't hurt anymore and that she's happy now. We said our I love you's and had an afternoon nap.

I still hate being bad psycho cop, even when it's for a noble cause. I feel like such a bully.

'Mom, I'm going schooling!'

With her pink Disney princess bags (prized inheritance from Aunt Xaris) filled with snacks and toys, Oona announces where she's going before getting her toy car out of her 'garage' and driving around the sofa to the 'parking lot'. Since her cousins, Aunt Diday and some favorite cartoon characters go to school, she's gotten it in her head that it's where she's destined to go. When Word World comes on, she refers to it as *her school*. And the lesson for the day depends on what she feels like, be it dancing, jumping or cooking with her building blocks. She manages reading her picture books, some scribbling and coloring sometimes too.

*sigh* I think Oona's going to be ready for school a lot sooner than I'm ready to see her go!

I've been holding out for 5 years old while RF's hedging along play school earlier than that. We both agree to let the kids have a childhood before inflicting an institution on them too soon. I'm always afraid of that.

Maybe I'm intimidated at how increasingly competitive schools and students are nowadays. It's scary how many books, tests, homework and projects little kids seem to have! Sometimes I'd see schoolbuses coming from school and these huge school bags would be perched precariously on top. The amount of information these young kids have to absorb seem to be increasing exponentially every year! I'm afraid Oona might have physics by the time she enters Grade 1! I only had my lunchbox, a change of clothes and hankie when I started school!

My paranoia aside, I have decided to use the next two years til Oona's 5 years old preparing her and by spillover, so to speak, Olly too, for big school. I'll do my utmost best to home school them with what I have and see if it'll work for the long haul. As much as I would love to declare that I can do it like other home-schooling moms, I still have to see if I have the patience for it and our parent-child relationship doesn't suffer. I just don't want them to be burdened by the learning process instead of enjoying it along with their childhood!

I only started thinking about education when Oona was turning one year old. I was surprised and not just a little guilty that I let myself get caught flat-footed about her academic development! You spawn 'em, feed 'em and larrrn 'em, after all. Most moms I met in forums had already attended seminars, workshops, enrolled in early childhood development and education courses and have put their babies in programs geared towards "giving them an edge in life". While I did not want to bombard the kids with too much too soon, I did not want to turn out depriving them either.

So I started reading up ASAP and I realized that communication should be the first and foremost lesson. It makes sense, right? Your child is non-verbal at this stage. How do you do this? How can you teach your child anything if there is no established connection and you can't understand each other at all? What foundations do you build on to help them grow and learn?

One of the incredible things I learned was about how babies as young as 6 months old were being taught to communicate using sign language! It never occurred to me that it can be done but I watched an amazing video of a baby expressing herself before she is able to verbalize! I tried it with Oona but she had already begun to communicate using her own set of expressions so we only got the "No more!" sign shortly before she was truly verbal. I am going to try again with Olly and I'm hopeful that this time around, we'll be more successful with it.

I really think Oona and I would have a less frustrating time understanding each other if I had started her earlier on communicating this way. I certainly understand better now that it's very hard for children to let adults know what they are thinking and what they wish to convey, be it a physical or emotional condition. After all, they're new to this as much as we are new to being parents.

The following article co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas is really enlightening.

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Georgia day care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose day care schools. Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

Check them out at http://www.primroseschools.com/ and find out if there's one near you :)

Read on!

Early Childhood Education – Acquiring Sign Language

One of the keys to surviving in a tilted economic system in which opportunities to achieve a decent standard of living will be limited is versatility – and the ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways with the widest possible audience. This includes bilingual ability as well as the ability to communicate in non-verbal ways for the benefit of the disabled – primarily the deaf.

At the same time, a growing shortage of qualified interpreters fluent in American Sign Language has led to more career opportunities – and if current trends continue, it's likely that skilled ASL interpreters will have little problem securing lucrative employment in a society where such a commodity is destined to be in short supply.

Signing Before They Can Speak

A great deal of research has clearly demonstrated that the early years – ages 2 to five – are the best time to educate children in different modes of communication and language. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

This is not as odd as you may think. As you know, many indigenous peoples around the world, including American Indian nations, have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate.

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

"...by 6 to 7 months, babies can remember a sign. At eight months, children can begin to imitate gestures and sign single words. By 24 months, children can sign compound words and full sentences. They say sign language reduces frustration in young children by giving them a means to express themselves before they know how to talk." (Glarion, 2003)

The author also cites study funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that "using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration...[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music" (Glarion, 2003).

The Best Time To Start

Not only does early childhood education in signing give pre-verbal youngsters a way to communicate, it can also strengthen the parent-child bond – in addition to giving children a solid foundation for learning a skill that will serve them well in the future. The evidence suggests that the best time to start learning ASL is before a child can even walk – and the implications for facilitating the parent-child relationship are amazing.

I really believe that my kids would be ready for school before I'm ready for them to go. But the best way I can assure myself that it's time for them to spread their wings and fly (if only for a few hours each day) is to equip them with effective communication skills. That way, I won't be scared that they're not able to handle what they'll be going through when I'm not there because they'll be able to tell me in no uncertain terms what their day was like.

And if their school bags are waaay too heavy and they want to home school with me again because they miss teacher mommy me. :D

Why Wait?

I don't mind taking turns, exercising patience and waiting for my ship to come in. In fact, it's one of the virtues I try to teach Oona.

However, there are some situations when you just hafta really hustle if you wanna get a move on!

I'm tired of waiting on fate to bring me what I want. I'm tired of watching people achieve their dreams first. I'm tired of putting myself on hold. I'm tired of postponing my plans and delaying my dreams. I'm done, I'm through, I'm stopping this nonsense right now.

That dream career? I'm taking that. That house? I'll take it. Those fat bank accounts and paying investments? They're mine, thank you. That glamorous, wonderful goddess in the mirror? Why, that's me! Worshipping is allowed, mortal. Bring tribute and I shall be pleased.

When you want something done right, you do it yourself. You don't need to hitch your wagon to someone else's shooting star. You can fly yourself to the moon even if you have to build the dang rocket out of scrap metal and spare parts.

What's life without grabbing some bulls by the balls? Er...Horns. I meant, horns.

The Luscious Dare

So in the middle of setting up the foundations for a business, homemaker duties, motherhood and surviving the day, I have officially kicked off the journey to a luscious me.

On September 29, 2010 I weighed 179 lbs. at 5'1.

I have lost 30 lbs. by December 9, 2010. Yup, the power of affirmative thinking and claiming your future breeds positive action and results.

10 weeks. Lose 3 lbs a week.

Hoo-rah.

Have A Party In Your Pajamas...Forget You're Mom (For Awhile)

Okay, I'll say it for all those who feel guilty for even thinking it: Yes, I want to forget I'm Mommy and get REALLY happy drunk JUST ONE TIME.

Especially when the kids just came from being sick, one after the other twice over, coupled with teething tantrums for a total of not one, not two, but *drumroll please!* FOUR WEEKS OF PURE PARENTING H*LL. Minimal sleep at night, toddler meltdown, throwing up, infant crisis (damn teeth won't just come out and get it over with!) and another two front teeth coming out. Oh, and starting solid food too.

Yeah, yeah, some people have it rougher but I'm not other people. You know you've thought it too.

Some days you just want to have a happy buzz at the end of the day like you used to when you were still a working stiff doing 8am-5pm and happy hour starts at 6pm. Just enough time for a good dinner and then off to the videoke bar for your favorite poison.

Nowadays, Happy Hour is when the little tots fall asleep. Buuuuuut, you usually fall asleep ten seconds after they do. Bwahahahaha :D

However, for those with older kids...Well, my friends over at LaForce sent me a heads up about this French liqueur. Mmmm...just saying French and liqueur is making my taste buds buzz! Sounds so smooth, rich, creamy and sooo heady! :D

 
Intensely unique and inviting, Alizé liqueurs infuse premium French Vodka with nectars of luscious fruits from the world's most exotic regions, from the jungles of Brazil, the lush hillsides of Chile to the tropical shores of pacific islands. Alizé is delicious on the rocks or served in martinis, cosmopolitans, margaritas and mimosas. Uncork the possibilities with Alizé!

NEW YORK, NY (July 27, 2010) -- Alizé, the original premium passion fruit liqueur imported from France, is pleased to announce an exciting brand enhancement of its popular line of passion fruit based liqueur products. Seamlessly transitioning to a vodka-based spirit, the portfolio of Alizé’s distinct, all natural fruit flavors will provide superior mixibility without compromising its signature taste. Due to overwhelming consumer demand, the full line, which includes Alizé Red Passion, Alizé Gold Passion, Alizé Wild Passion, Alizé Rose Passion and Alizé Bleu Passion, will now be made exclusively from exotic passion fruit, all natural exotic fruit juices and remarkably smooth premium French vodka.

Introduced to the United States from France by Kobrand Corporation in 1986, the Alizé product line boasts five delicious flavors made from all natural ingredients that stand alone or blend beautifully with other premium spirits and mixers. Whether blended into margaritas, shaken in martinis, used to elevate dangerously delicious punches or drizzled atop Champagne, Alizé is a must-have for any quality bar or club.

"Alizé is embraced by a contemporary, multi-cultural audience while enjoying an Urban edge and universal appeal” says Alizé Brand Manager Cheryl Talley. “The Alizé consumer is sophisticated, successful and sexy – true tastemakers that are always several steps ahead of the next “it” thing, whether it be in fashion, music or nightlife. We are pleased to offer a fresh spin on our classic line of products in an effort to continually meet the specific demands of our discerning consumers.”

All Alizé products are 16% ABV and retail at $19.99 for 750 ml and $23.99 for 1 liter. For more information on the Alizé product line and recipe ideas, please visit http://www.alize.com/.

So, for all you Mommies and Daddies who can grab these lovelies, please toast to us who are breastfeeding (hence an alcohol ban) and would be stuck fantasizing about this for the time being! Check back on me as I'll be posting some recipes you can easily whip up with Alizé and common household weapons - er, ingredients :D Mix 'em, put your feet up and drink 'em down :D Or turn up the radio or the iPod (to a safe, sleeping-child-sensitive volume) and dance in your pajamas and let your inner diva out of hibernation.

Just for awhile. :)

A Price On Your Head

Being a mom really rewires your head somehow. For the survival of the species, I suppose, parenthood produces organic mind-altering drugs and suddenly makes the synapses in your brain fire differently from what you thought was already your hard-wiring.

I always thought along the lines of, 'I'm an artist, math is not my friend and I have no head for business.' Not so now, because of the kids.

In the first place, being an artist is never a reason or an excuse not to know your rights and your own commercial value. It's part of protecting oneself and ensuring that you have resources to maintain a quality of life comfortable enough to enable you to keep on doing what you enjoy.

Knowing your rights protects you from greedy and unscrupulous people out to make money from your honest sweat. EDUCATE YOURSELF. Read up on Intellectual Property Rights, that's a start! What's a few hours spent on reading compared to a lifetime of regret? Find out how to register your work, be it an idea, invention, process, tangible or intangible. Watch out for seminars on the subject and talk to people, especially lawyers. Hire a lawyer if your stature demands it or you can well afford it.

Philippine Intellectual Property Office
Intellectual Property Code of the Philippines
Intellectual Property Protection in the Philippines

When you're aware of your rights, it will be easier to determine your correct commercial value. I know it sounds like you're a piece of meat. Well, make no bones about it, YOU ARE. And it's a competitive market out there. You are selling yourself, your service, your product.

Under or overvaluing yourself are huge problems for any artist. Market value stems from studying your rights, your product or service AND your competition. Slash current market trends.

What the heck do I mean?

When you undervalue yourself or your product, and you sell cheaper than you should, you only send the message that you're insecure about your skills. Especially when people see how incredibly talented you are. That's sad in itself, really. You open yourself to being taken advantage of, being arm-twisted into lowering your prices because you seem desperate for the job. It's putting them in control of the situation wherein there should be a mutual respect and balance in the first place. There would be doubt as well that even if your portfolio looks impressive, you may not be giving it your all since you're throwing it away for peanuts. You also bring the floor price of the entire industry down. The thought that someone managed a huge job on a few pesos causes a lot of problematic questions. Most of the time, quality suffers and people are forced to bring their prices down even if overhead expenses stay the same. Loss or lugi. And beware your personal safety and reputation when people find out you're the juggernaut that started the crash.

Of course if it's discounts and personal favors for a job we're talking about, that's a different story. But beware of that too. People love to haggle or assume that you would automatically give a discount or even do it for free especially when you're friends or when you're just starting. Treat discounts and freebies as you would a secret super power. It's a power you would only use when the occasion merits it and with utmost discretion. You're running a business, not a charity. Spot the free loaders and sic some good verbal kung-fu on them. Don't forget your manners, okay? Be polite, firm but gracious as you need to maintain a good image and you don't need the bad juju :) Don't give in to the pressure or fear that they won't buy from you. You are not begging for patronage. The world is a huge place, someone ought to like or need what you have. It also makes people feel special when you do give freebies and discounts. They're more likely to come back for more and bring others with them because you were able to make a special connection with them. I hope that made sense!

Overvaluing or overpricing on the other hand could drive customers and clients away. Of course there's the off chance that you could single-handedly drive up industry prices but unless you're God's gift to your particular job description, don't bet on it. You can be easily replaced by a dozen with the same skill set and cheaper demands. Besides, there's the bigger pressure for performance according to how much you're being paid. If you really deserve it, props to you! But if you don't, the resulting fall can reverberate through the next few jobs. You don't want that, right?

So how do we put a price on our heads?

Read. Research. Talk to people. Use the net. Find out how much others are charging. Look up the highest and lowest asking price and hit an average. Compare your folio with these people and see what pricing bracket you could fall under. If you're starting but think you can compete with the ones asking for higher pay-out, go for it! :)

Attend business seminars to find out how MONEY WORKS FOR YOU. You'll be amazed at so many simple solutions rooted in common sense out there remain unused. Break out of the mentality that you have to work for your money and turn it around to work for you.

Always price right!

Mathematics isn't even a problem. That's what calculators are for! Lolz. And accountants too, by the way. Aside from lawyers, talking to accountants reveal a lot you can do to augment the income you generate on a monthly basis. Any bank would be happy to accomodate your questions if you don't personally know an accountant. And those paycheck deductions that go to your housing, social security and health insurance funds? Ah! You DO have so much, you just don't know it.

So in a nutshell, I thought I wouldn't ever have a head for business until my kids showed me otherwise. When you're a mom, you want to ensure your kids have what they need for a good future. And let's face it, you need money to do that.

Educate yourself. Know your rights. Know your value. Empower yourself.

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