Toddler Theatrics

And the Award for Best Actress
in a Dramatic Role goes to....

My three year old has decided that life is her stage and she is determined to throw herself into the ultimate performance of her young life. Watching her, I'd have to say that she really does have potential to be her generation's best dramatic actress! She immerses herself so totally in her role that she IS the role! Her method of portrayal, her characterization, is so complete that she convinces her audience and herself of the reality and depth of the performance. All in all a powerful, moving and disturbing thing to watch.

For the first time in her life, our Oona has been afflicted with a mouth sore or singaw as we call it. And her 10 decibel pain, is my pain, is everybody's pain within a 3 mile radius.

She is The Pain.

We've all moved, as a family and as individuals, from various degrees of involvement and varying emotional reactions.

First, pity for the child who's never experienced the stinging pain of a mouth sore and its medications. Then, distress as she starts crying when it becomes unbearable for her to suffer in whimpering silence. Next, stress levels escalate in worry as nothing seems to soothe her anguish and a quick remedy isn't quick enough. Nerves begin to fray when one realizes that the child is playing it to the hilt. True it hurts but not enough to warrant full waterworks and each sentence to be punctuated by an empathic 'Owww!'. Extreme annoyance hits at this point when one realizes one has been had and the actress in question continues to ham it up for the audience that matters: Daddy (who gives in to demands to be carried around like a baby) and Grandpa (who hovers in worry, growling that his granddaughter is suffering and something MUST be done!).

Mommy and Grandma roll eyes and facepalms.

Normally when she does her whining and theater exercises, I run the gamut of talking to her through it, scolding, or ignoring it until she stops. On bad days when I'm running short on temper and she can't seem to stop, I get mad, we have a scream-fest and I ultimately send her to the corner. She usually stops, says she's sorry and says she's tired that's why she's starting to act up. We talk, make up and have quiet time or sleep.

This time, with the mouth sore, of course it's different.
Mouth sores are caused by bacteria and can happen to anyone. Oona bit her inner lip by accident and the little nip got infected. Falling asleep with her milk bottle still in her mouth and forgetting to brush her teeth did the rest. Yes, I do feel guilty for not being extra vigilant. Just this one time when I thought I could relax a little, the sore happens and we pay for it!

At first I made her gargle Bactidol, Listerine, and a salt and water solution. It was ok but then she seemed to get worse so we went to my dentist Aunt Grace who gave her an oral care gel. It seemed to work until night hit and her lip seemed to be swollen. By midnight, she couldn't fall asleep anymore as her mouth dried and as she yawned in sleep, the sore stretched and she kept waking up in pain. She even woke up Olly with her crying and as they both started crying, I wanted to cry too. It had been going on ALL DAY, the crying, whining, owww-ing...I was getting so irritated, I knew I'd reached my absolute limit. Poor RF woke up, dazed and tired because the little girls were crying and I was yelling for Oona to stop ("It's going to hurt you more!") but Oona was too far gone: really sleepy, tired, in pain, frustrated and unable to stop herself.

I wanted to go out in the middle of the night to try and find the new-fangled instant remedy that I saw at the drugstore earlier. I would have bought one right then just to give Oona some relief and us some peace, but it was out of stock. RF and I were looking at each other, my extreme annoyance breaking into exasperation and inexplicably, I felt a stupid smile on my face. The things they don't tell you about parenthood! Haha.

Desperate times. We decided for desperate measures.

I was hoping not to have to resort to the all-time favorite, old-skool remedy of putting ground tawas (alum) on the sore or gargling with it in salt and water. Hurts like h*ll but the sore would be banished in an instant. I was afraid it might further traumatize her, but in this case, prolonging the pain was probably worse. Plus, she woke up the whole household, growling Grandpa included ("Tell your Aunt to give her the strong medicine! It'll hurt once and then she'll be fine! Tawas doesn't work!").

Aunt Gly was thoughtful enough to give us a mixture already prepared with kalamansi. She squeezed kalamansi juice over ground alum and when it dried, it looked like golden brown sugar crystals. Oona was screaming, her theatrics turning into hysterics when I asked her to open her mouth for the medicine. I told her it was going to hurt but it would utlimately make her feel better.

Just a pinch but it *did* hurt like hell. And if she could swear, Oona would have put a sailor to shame and I would have grounded her for life for being a potty mouth. But all she bravely did was keep her mouth open like I asked her to while I put on the tawas, RF holding her while she cried and cried and cried :(

After a few moments, we had her gargle with water to wash out the alum. And almost instantly, the pain began to fade as her lip went numb. In a few minutes, she was quiet and when I asked her if she felt better, she was already able to reply (whimperingly) yes.

Sigh.

It took two more applications before the sore was gone completely. She still cried and groused about having to put medicine that she knew would hurt, but she was very brave and trusting enough to let me put it on her.

Writing this down now, I feel like I want to cry. It sometimes sucks to be the one to dole out the tough love. Deep down, even while she thrashed, yelled and cried, Oona trusted my word that what I would do would heal her even if it hurt her badly. Her faith in me makes me feel so small and humble. I'm sorry that it hurt or that she had to have that sore in the first place, but I'm sorrier I have to hurt her first to make her feel better.

Now she knows better than to go to bed with a bottle and without brushing. She drinks more water, especially after eating and drinking milk or juice. She says it's so her teeth will be happy and her mouth won't have germs anymore.

We now have some peace, of course and she's her sweet but spicy little self again as opposed to Olly's totally sweet nature. Her theatrics have gone back down to almost nil or only when she hasn't had her afternoon naps. What hasn't changed though, I've noticed, is that the theatrics come on when Daddy's around or Grandpa's eligible to be dragged outside to play.

Whenever that happens, I leave the menfolk to her "tender" mercies and I tune out to save my sanity! After all, that doesn't require tawas and Mommy's tough love to deal with.

The Luscious Dare: L-Carnitine and Green Tea, Grapeseed Oil and Malunggay

I decided to lose weight to keep up with the demands of having a toddler and baby running around the whole day. I hated being sluggish and how cranky I was from having such low energy. Having come from childbirth and its complications, poor diet, no exercise and being overweight to begin with, it was high time for a change and reclaim my life from unhealthiness.

With eating smart, eating right and balancing my diet, I decided to support my weight loss with health supplements as my body had just come from childbirth and I am still breastfeeding Olly. It is important not to deprive the body as it could do more harm than good. Instead of getting your natural metabolism in gear, it could slow down further as your body thinks it's being deprived due to a famine. It's a normal response of the body protecting itself and why crash diets don't work in the long run. You stand to gain twice what you initially lost. You may think it's working but what you're losing is just water and mass.

L-Carnitine and Green Tea Extract seemed to be my best bet as I needed the energy boost and the anti-oxidant. I was apprehensive about it at first but a quick email to my OB put my mind at ease. She even sent me this link and surprised me by saying pregnant and breastfeeding mothers do need the supplement as these are high energy activities. Even babies needed l-carnitine that they get from breastmilk! Sometimes the body expends more than is produced because of this, so capsule intake may be prescribed.

I did not want to take just any supplement with appetite suppressants as eating less would interfere with my breastfeeding. So I decided on Luxxe Slim as it only had l-carnitine and green tea and no other unfamiliar ingredients in their formulation.

L-Carnitine converts body fat to fuel, metabolizes sugars, starches, and other carbohydrates. It promotes good circulation of the kidney, pancreas, good digestion and replenishes bone mass. Protects the heart from damage, clears the bloodstream and can be used to supplement breastfeeding mothers.

Green Tea's antioxidant qualities promote increased metabolism and fat oxidation, detoxification, enhances immunity and has cancer prevention properties.

Luxxe Protect's Grapeseed Oil on the other hand is 20 times more potent than Vitamin C and 50 times more powerful than Vitamin E.

It is good for the skin and vision and is an antihistamine, anti-inflamatory and lowers cholesterol level.

Malunggay or Moringana Olifeira capsules are packed with natural multi-vitamins many times over than artificial multi-vitamins. It also promotes lactation and keeps up my milk supply for Olly.

Calcium and Iron multivitamins are also usually needed as I'm a breastfeeding mom. Most of my supply are being transferred to Olly that's why my teeth, bones and hair are suffering for it. My period also resumed after being absent for so long so I need to build up my iron reserves. I felt so weak and dizzy on my first day from the blood loss!

Luckily though I've been taking malunggay. Imagine how weak I would have felt if I wasn't. After my period stops, I can stop the extra calcium and iron and just stick to the malunggay and other supplements.

So far, these are the supporting health supplements I take with lots of water and a regulated diet.

How Do I Feel?

With the extra vitamins, nutrients and anti-oxidants flooding my body for about a week now, I definitely feel better. During the first few days though, when my body began to give up the toxins it had accumulated, I had a cold. I also itched, sweat a lot, felt tired, sleepy and cranky. My period also resumed after several months of amenorrhoea.

I read up that the colds, the sweating and the skin itching I had were due to the normal expulsion of toxins. Our skin and respiratory systems are organs that help eliminate our body's waste. My sleepiness and lack of energy was due to my monthlies whose recurrence I would put down to the metabolic boost the supplements gave my body. After all, that's part of the body's cleansing process.

After my body got used to the new balance of things, I felt much lighter, cleaner and definitely less cranky. Losing 5lbs worth of toxins after a week is definitely progress! :D I can't wait to see how much I lose again after another week!

Previous: How To Start
Next: The Diet

The Luscious Dare: How To Start

Before I even started on this, I had to prepare myself mentally and physiologically. I didn't want to start abruptly and then stop because I thought up of an excuse I could live with or physically, my body would be in cahoots with my reasoning and feel *something* even vaguely justifiable. Yes, I am playing mind games with myself. If this sounds crazy, it's not a result of a starved brain. This is a normal day in my head.

Seriously, any venture has to be thought out before it's started. Especially the ones that require this much commitment. You have to be sure that you'll stick to it no matter the setbacks you'll encounter, criticisms you'll hear or the impatience you might feel over time. Why you are doing this has to be crystal clear and embedded firmly in your mind. In my case, I do this for my kids. I want to be more for them, to live longer and better so that they can have more out of life!

Of course I talk about it in dieting and health terms but it is also applicable to the other changes in my life that I am preparing to undergo. :)

Physical preparations included getting my OB's go signal to diet and use supplements while I breastfeed. Never start dieting, taking supplements or medication and going on an exercise regimen without consulting your GP, OB and other specialists if you have a condition. Anything is possible by human will but you have to be sure the body is willing too!

To say it's all in the mind would be correct. You have to get your mind right first :)

I find that making a list helps me keep things in perspective. So here's my list for a good start.

1. Set your goal.
Reach as far as you can! Aim for the stars! Put in a crazy number if you like but just be aware that you shouldn't have unreasonable expectations.

2. Be clear about your motivation.
Why you are doing this, why you are daring yourself to make a change. More importantly, are you doing this for yourself or for someone else's idea of who you should be? Address your issues and don't be afraid to face them once and for all.


3. Commit to a time line.
Again, be reasonable and leave room to adjust. Be sure it's a schedule you will be able to live with. I would suggest nothing too radical so that whatever you do would be able to mesh well with the rest of your normal everyday activities.


4. Create a reward.
Claim it when you achieve your goal. Though your good health is the best reward you could ever have, material rewards are also good :) A dress, an event or even a trip where you can flaunt your hard-earned change!


Health First!



5. List down the steps you will take.

Evaluate accordingly. Is it safe? Is it feasible, reasonable and achievable? Don't set yourself up to fail by being unreasonable.

6. List what you should avoid.
This not only means bad, unhealthy food, but bad habits that don't contribute to your goal as well.


7. Enlist the help and support of friends and family.
Having a support group will help you through the tough early days when you're just starting to break habits and when you feel like giving up.

8. Check in with your doctor.
Your health and safety is of paramount importance. Have a complete check up and let them know your plans. Bring along whatever medication or supplement you wish to use. Ask for recommendations and advice.


9. Be ready for the adjustments your mind and body will make.
At first it won't be good as your body eliminates toxins with the help of the supplements, the healthy diet and activities. You'll also experience mood swings as you detoxify. It's only temporary. Stick to your guns and know that it's the bad stuff coming out of your system.


10. Start.

I know it sounds like a long list but these are the stuff I started with. It's my way to throw myself completely into this "project". I study, read, prepare and prepare some more. I am committed and the two major reasons for this are sleeping sweetly as I type this to seal the commitment. This is parenting and motherhood for me, striving to be the best I can be for these kids.

If I can do it, I'm sure you can too! :D

Previous: The Luscious Dare
Next: The Supplements

My Body Is Really A Wonderland

With apologies to the songwriter :) But yes, to my kids it is their own wonderland, strictly membership access only.

As I write this on my mobile, it is close to afternoon nap time. We spend winding down time in bed as it's easier for them to nod off. Oona sings to herself, reads her picture books or pops up with random questions, comments and stories to tell briefly before she sleeps. Olly practices standing up and maneuvering her body while gumming anything she can get her mouth around.

My place is between them. I lie in the middle of the bed or else they'd wind up playing together instead of winding down to sleep. And inevitably there would be crying because they accidentally hurt each other and they're too tired to be forgiving. Nevertheless, they both are doing their own thing snuggled up to me.

I become trampoline, bridge, jungle gym, monkey bars, swing set and bean bag. My head is Olly's activity ball with my eyes, ears, mouth, nose and hair to be poked, prodded, examined, peered at, pushed, pulled, pinched and slobbered over.

Of course there's the requisite love bites, head butts, flying kicks, elbow jabs, sucker punches and gut busting tackles the sweet little girls don't mean to hurt. I don't know if any little boy could be more rambunctious than these two!

It's like what my good friend Armin said when I was griping about not being able to wear heels anymore. She reminded me that we just traded one body ache for another. Wearing heels and carrying our babies are both bad for our backs and h*ll on our hips but we love 'em anyway.

Then, when they have finally expended all that energy and sleep claims their eyes, I am pillow, blanket and lovey with babies piled all over me. Did I mention I'm also teether, feeding bottle and nursing companion?

I am my children's wonderland.

No Awards For Me Yet

Hubby's on a business trip, I'm on a diet and me and the babies are sniffly, coughing and feverish.

Sick kids love being babied and my girls are like any other kid in the world. They're fussy, drooly, snotty and will generally drive you insane. They wake up all hours of the night and when they BOTH have fevers, you run the whole gamut of human emotion from annoyance, pity and exasperation to joy and relief when the temperature goes down. Now when they both cry, you either run for the hills or pick them both up.

Such was my drama for the past week. Daddy was in Malaysia for work so when my mom, dad and sister are asleep, it's for me to stay up and be Florence Nightingale. I also started my diet so adjusting to the new state of my food intake has shortened my temper and patience. I still count the three times I lost it this week as progress though. With the usual stresses coupled with the new factors present, I think I did pretty okay. (Just don't ask my mom who's usually the witness to my tirades.) More often than not, Oona and discipline issues are what get me really fired up. She doesn't mean to be willful, but she's quite the little chatter box pixie! I swear she wears me down! It's frustrating for me that I can barely keep up with her speed and energy.

She makes me think of actually getting a nanny. My mom, on the other hand, reminded me that if I lose patience with Oona, I can't expect the nanny to have more of it than I can give. That's true, that's why I've been working on my temper issues. Not for the nanny, but for Oona, so that I can teach her how to properly channel her frustrations, tantrums and hyperactivity. And not fly into a passion as I and others in the family are wont to do.

Children are really mirrors of how well we act. They can't help it, they will imitate and emulate what they see and hear from the established role models. Being parents, it's our responsibility to set good examples of the values we want them to grow up with. We watch every word, every action and every scenario to block out the bad, affirm every good lesson and run a darn good explanation why some things are contradictory to what you teach but are still okay. Like, it's bad to say "What the hey!" when she says it but it's better than saying "What the h*ll!"...So much for pressure, huh?

I'm really envious of moms and dads who are so in the parenting zone. Even RF's more in the zen of parenting than I am, although I still think the girls have him wrapped around their little fingers. It's exasperating how Oona would appeal to his softer nature with tears in her eyes and wobbly lip after I dissuade her from something. It's adorable but exasperating :) I keep saying I'm the court of last resort and no one's higher than the Supreme Court. Not even the grandparents, my parents, can top my decisions regarding them.

While I do understand that I'm teaching Oona that there are limits and rules, I still lament the fact that I deplore my own short fuse.

I want Oona to be better at life than I am but she seems to be growing up faster than I'm maturing. Don't you ever wonder who's really raising who? Is it you bringing the kids up or other way around? I can't say it's her fault for being my first born, my first foray into parenting and it's her luck to be the guinea pig. It shouldn't be like that and I find it a poor excuse or reason.

Maybe someday I'll find that I did do right by her and Olly and that my trying to be a good parent worked after all. Maybe someday I can look forward to those "Best Mommy Awards" and feel that I really do deserve it. For now, all I can do is try to wing it one day at a time, hold on to my temper, stretch out my patience (diet or no diet) and understand that though it may be my first time to parent, it's Oona's first time being a kid and I should show her that it's great to be one!

Good Cop, Bad Cop

I hate being bad cop.

Like today, Oona cried herself hoarse while yelling 'Sorry Mommy! I'm sorry!' from the corner I sent her for a time out. Before that, she was pretending to cry so she could get me to fetch the hankie I was telling her to get to wipe her runny little nose with. She said she didn't want to go because there was a monster. It was broad daylight, a few yards from where I was but I wanted her to get it as I told her to keep it with her because she had colds. Then she started to fake crying with matching tears, saying she couldn't find it when I knew she didn't even try. Any other day her drama queen act would have merited an exasperated laugh and a compromise, processing the monster thing, but I just got so pissed with the fake crying, I swear. I smacked her bottom soundly and sent her to the corner, trying to ignore her while she cried for real and shouted her apologies for not behaving.

Sigh.
I'm the mommy monster.

I know I sound harsh and she's a sweet little kid. I honestly think I can manage better than losing my temper, but I still haven't found the secret to making a willful three year old yield to me without a battle of wills.

Rf tries to comfort me by saying I have to be bad cop because I use tough love better than he does. He should know, cos he's such a push over when it comes to the girls. He's wrapped around their little fingers! He tells me that they do need to learn discipline and the gravity of the consequences when they don't behave, stick to the rules or don't listen.

I really wish kids could listen and reason like adults do but then, they wouldn't be kids. I just have to learn not to be reduced to the EQ level of a bean when my patience deserts me. She really doesn't have authority issues, it's just that Oona's three years old. That's all. And it's all I have to remember.

After she relatively calmed down, we talked, hugged and kissed. I also said sorry for yelling, spanking her bottom and getting mad. She said it didn't hurt anymore and that she's happy now. We said our I love you's and had an afternoon nap.

I still hate being bad psycho cop, even when it's for a noble cause. I feel like such a bully.

'Mom, I'm going schooling!'

With her pink Disney princess bags (prized inheritance from Aunt Xaris) filled with snacks and toys, Oona announces where she's going before getting her toy car out of her 'garage' and driving around the sofa to the 'parking lot'. Since her cousins, Aunt Diday and some favorite cartoon characters go to school, she's gotten it in her head that it's where she's destined to go. When Word World comes on, she refers to it as *her school*. And the lesson for the day depends on what she feels like, be it dancing, jumping or cooking with her building blocks. She manages reading her picture books, some scribbling and coloring sometimes too.

*sigh* I think Oona's going to be ready for school a lot sooner than I'm ready to see her go!

I've been holding out for 5 years old while RF's hedging along play school earlier than that. We both agree to let the kids have a childhood before inflicting an institution on them too soon. I'm always afraid of that.

Maybe I'm intimidated at how increasingly competitive schools and students are nowadays. It's scary how many books, tests, homework and projects little kids seem to have! Sometimes I'd see schoolbuses coming from school and these huge school bags would be perched precariously on top. The amount of information these young kids have to absorb seem to be increasing exponentially every year! I'm afraid Oona might have physics by the time she enters Grade 1! I only had my lunchbox, a change of clothes and hankie when I started school!

My paranoia aside, I have decided to use the next two years til Oona's 5 years old preparing her and by spillover, so to speak, Olly too, for big school. I'll do my utmost best to home school them with what I have and see if it'll work for the long haul. As much as I would love to declare that I can do it like other home-schooling moms, I still have to see if I have the patience for it and our parent-child relationship doesn't suffer. I just don't want them to be burdened by the learning process instead of enjoying it along with their childhood!

I only started thinking about education when Oona was turning one year old. I was surprised and not just a little guilty that I let myself get caught flat-footed about her academic development! You spawn 'em, feed 'em and larrrn 'em, after all. Most moms I met in forums had already attended seminars, workshops, enrolled in early childhood development and education courses and have put their babies in programs geared towards "giving them an edge in life". While I did not want to bombard the kids with too much too soon, I did not want to turn out depriving them either.

So I started reading up ASAP and I realized that communication should be the first and foremost lesson. It makes sense, right? Your child is non-verbal at this stage. How do you do this? How can you teach your child anything if there is no established connection and you can't understand each other at all? What foundations do you build on to help them grow and learn?

One of the incredible things I learned was about how babies as young as 6 months old were being taught to communicate using sign language! It never occurred to me that it can be done but I watched an amazing video of a baby expressing herself before she is able to verbalize! I tried it with Oona but she had already begun to communicate using her own set of expressions so we only got the "No more!" sign shortly before she was truly verbal. I am going to try again with Olly and I'm hopeful that this time around, we'll be more successful with it.

I really think Oona and I would have a less frustrating time understanding each other if I had started her earlier on communicating this way. I certainly understand better now that it's very hard for children to let adults know what they are thinking and what they wish to convey, be it a physical or emotional condition. After all, they're new to this as much as we are new to being parents.

The following article co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas is really enlightening.

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Georgia day care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose day care schools. Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

Check them out at http://www.primroseschools.com/ and find out if there's one near you :)

Read on!

Early Childhood Education – Acquiring Sign Language

One of the keys to surviving in a tilted economic system in which opportunities to achieve a decent standard of living will be limited is versatility – and the ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways with the widest possible audience. This includes bilingual ability as well as the ability to communicate in non-verbal ways for the benefit of the disabled – primarily the deaf.

At the same time, a growing shortage of qualified interpreters fluent in American Sign Language has led to more career opportunities – and if current trends continue, it's likely that skilled ASL interpreters will have little problem securing lucrative employment in a society where such a commodity is destined to be in short supply.

Signing Before They Can Speak

A great deal of research has clearly demonstrated that the early years – ages 2 to five – are the best time to educate children in different modes of communication and language. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

This is not as odd as you may think. As you know, many indigenous peoples around the world, including American Indian nations, have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate.

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

"...by 6 to 7 months, babies can remember a sign. At eight months, children can begin to imitate gestures and sign single words. By 24 months, children can sign compound words and full sentences. They say sign language reduces frustration in young children by giving them a means to express themselves before they know how to talk." (Glarion, 2003)

The author also cites study funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that "using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration...[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music" (Glarion, 2003).

The Best Time To Start

Not only does early childhood education in signing give pre-verbal youngsters a way to communicate, it can also strengthen the parent-child bond – in addition to giving children a solid foundation for learning a skill that will serve them well in the future. The evidence suggests that the best time to start learning ASL is before a child can even walk – and the implications for facilitating the parent-child relationship are amazing.

I really believe that my kids would be ready for school before I'm ready for them to go. But the best way I can assure myself that it's time for them to spread their wings and fly (if only for a few hours each day) is to equip them with effective communication skills. That way, I won't be scared that they're not able to handle what they'll be going through when I'm not there because they'll be able to tell me in no uncertain terms what their day was like.

And if their school bags are waaay too heavy and they want to home school with me again because they miss teacher mommy me. :D

Have A Party In Your Pajamas...Forget You're Mom (For Awhile)

Okay, I'll say it for all those who feel guilty for even thinking it: Yes, I want to forget I'm Mommy and get REALLY happy drunk JUST ONE TIME.

Especially when the kids just came from being sick, one after the other twice over, coupled with teething tantrums for a total of not one, not two, but *drumroll please!* FOUR WEEKS OF PURE PARENTING H*LL. Minimal sleep at night, toddler meltdown, throwing up, infant crisis (damn teeth won't just come out and get it over with!) and another two front teeth coming out. Oh, and starting solid food too.

Yeah, yeah, some people have it rougher but I'm not other people. You know you've thought it too.

Some days you just want to have a happy buzz at the end of the day like you used to when you were still a working stiff doing 8am-5pm and happy hour starts at 6pm. Just enough time for a good dinner and then off to the videoke bar for your favorite poison.

Nowadays, Happy Hour is when the little tots fall asleep. Buuuuuut, you usually fall asleep ten seconds after they do. Bwahahahaha :D

However, for those with older kids...Well, my friends over at LaForce sent me a heads up about this French liqueur. Mmmm...just saying French and liqueur is making my taste buds buzz! Sounds so smooth, rich, creamy and sooo heady! :D

 
Intensely unique and inviting, Alizé liqueurs infuse premium French Vodka with nectars of luscious fruits from the world's most exotic regions, from the jungles of Brazil, the lush hillsides of Chile to the tropical shores of pacific islands. Alizé is delicious on the rocks or served in martinis, cosmopolitans, margaritas and mimosas. Uncork the possibilities with Alizé!

NEW YORK, NY (July 27, 2010) -- Alizé, the original premium passion fruit liqueur imported from France, is pleased to announce an exciting brand enhancement of its popular line of passion fruit based liqueur products. Seamlessly transitioning to a vodka-based spirit, the portfolio of Alizé’s distinct, all natural fruit flavors will provide superior mixibility without compromising its signature taste. Due to overwhelming consumer demand, the full line, which includes Alizé Red Passion, Alizé Gold Passion, Alizé Wild Passion, Alizé Rose Passion and Alizé Bleu Passion, will now be made exclusively from exotic passion fruit, all natural exotic fruit juices and remarkably smooth premium French vodka.

Introduced to the United States from France by Kobrand Corporation in 1986, the Alizé product line boasts five delicious flavors made from all natural ingredients that stand alone or blend beautifully with other premium spirits and mixers. Whether blended into margaritas, shaken in martinis, used to elevate dangerously delicious punches or drizzled atop Champagne, Alizé is a must-have for any quality bar or club.

"Alizé is embraced by a contemporary, multi-cultural audience while enjoying an Urban edge and universal appeal” says Alizé Brand Manager Cheryl Talley. “The Alizé consumer is sophisticated, successful and sexy – true tastemakers that are always several steps ahead of the next “it” thing, whether it be in fashion, music or nightlife. We are pleased to offer a fresh spin on our classic line of products in an effort to continually meet the specific demands of our discerning consumers.”

All Alizé products are 16% ABV and retail at $19.99 for 750 ml and $23.99 for 1 liter. For more information on the Alizé product line and recipe ideas, please visit http://www.alize.com/.

So, for all you Mommies and Daddies who can grab these lovelies, please toast to us who are breastfeeding (hence an alcohol ban) and would be stuck fantasizing about this for the time being! Check back on me as I'll be posting some recipes you can easily whip up with Alizé and common household weapons - er, ingredients :D Mix 'em, put your feet up and drink 'em down :D Or turn up the radio or the iPod (to a safe, sleeping-child-sensitive volume) and dance in your pajamas and let your inner diva out of hibernation.

Just for awhile. :)

A Price On Your Head

Being a mom really rewires your head somehow. For the survival of the species, I suppose, parenthood produces organic mind-altering drugs and suddenly makes the synapses in your brain fire differently from what you thought was already your hard-wiring.

I always thought along the lines of, 'I'm an artist, math is not my friend and I have no head for business.' Not so now, because of the kids.

In the first place, being an artist is never a reason or an excuse not to know your rights and your own commercial value. It's part of protecting oneself and ensuring that you have resources to maintain a quality of life comfortable enough to enable you to keep on doing what you enjoy.

Knowing your rights protects you from greedy and unscrupulous people out to make money from your honest sweat. EDUCATE YOURSELF. Read up on Intellectual Property Rights, that's a start! What's a few hours spent on reading compared to a lifetime of regret? Find out how to register your work, be it an idea, invention, process, tangible or intangible. Watch out for seminars on the subject and talk to people, especially lawyers. Hire a lawyer if your stature demands it or you can well afford it.

Philippine Intellectual Property Office
Intellectual Property Code of the Philippines
Intellectual Property Protection in the Philippines

When you're aware of your rights, it will be easier to determine your correct commercial value. I know it sounds like you're a piece of meat. Well, make no bones about it, YOU ARE. And it's a competitive market out there. You are selling yourself, your service, your product.

Under or overvaluing yourself are huge problems for any artist. Market value stems from studying your rights, your product or service AND your competition. Slash current market trends.

What the heck do I mean?

When you undervalue yourself or your product, and you sell cheaper than you should, you only send the message that you're insecure about your skills. Especially when people see how incredibly talented you are. That's sad in itself, really. You open yourself to being taken advantage of, being arm-twisted into lowering your prices because you seem desperate for the job. It's putting them in control of the situation wherein there should be a mutual respect and balance in the first place. There would be doubt as well that even if your portfolio looks impressive, you may not be giving it your all since you're throwing it away for peanuts. You also bring the floor price of the entire industry down. The thought that someone managed a huge job on a few pesos causes a lot of problematic questions. Most of the time, quality suffers and people are forced to bring their prices down even if overhead expenses stay the same. Loss or lugi. And beware your personal safety and reputation when people find out you're the juggernaut that started the crash.

Of course if it's discounts and personal favors for a job we're talking about, that's a different story. But beware of that too. People love to haggle or assume that you would automatically give a discount or even do it for free especially when you're friends or when you're just starting. Treat discounts and freebies as you would a secret super power. It's a power you would only use when the occasion merits it and with utmost discretion. You're running a business, not a charity. Spot the free loaders and sic some good verbal kung-fu on them. Don't forget your manners, okay? Be polite, firm but gracious as you need to maintain a good image and you don't need the bad juju :) Don't give in to the pressure or fear that they won't buy from you. You are not begging for patronage. The world is a huge place, someone ought to like or need what you have. It also makes people feel special when you do give freebies and discounts. They're more likely to come back for more and bring others with them because you were able to make a special connection with them. I hope that made sense!

Overvaluing or overpricing on the other hand could drive customers and clients away. Of course there's the off chance that you could single-handedly drive up industry prices but unless you're God's gift to your particular job description, don't bet on it. You can be easily replaced by a dozen with the same skill set and cheaper demands. Besides, there's the bigger pressure for performance according to how much you're being paid. If you really deserve it, props to you! But if you don't, the resulting fall can reverberate through the next few jobs. You don't want that, right?

So how do we put a price on our heads?

Read. Research. Talk to people. Use the net. Find out how much others are charging. Look up the highest and lowest asking price and hit an average. Compare your folio with these people and see what pricing bracket you could fall under. If you're starting but think you can compete with the ones asking for higher pay-out, go for it! :)

Attend business seminars to find out how MONEY WORKS FOR YOU. You'll be amazed at so many simple solutions rooted in common sense out there remain unused. Break out of the mentality that you have to work for your money and turn it around to work for you.

Always price right!

Mathematics isn't even a problem. That's what calculators are for! Lolz. And accountants too, by the way. Aside from lawyers, talking to accountants reveal a lot you can do to augment the income you generate on a monthly basis. Any bank would be happy to accomodate your questions if you don't personally know an accountant. And those paycheck deductions that go to your housing, social security and health insurance funds? Ah! You DO have so much, you just don't know it.

So in a nutshell, I thought I wouldn't ever have a head for business until my kids showed me otherwise. When you're a mom, you want to ensure your kids have what they need for a good future. And let's face it, you need money to do that.

Educate yourself. Know your rights. Know your value. Empower yourself.

Philippine Intellectual Property Office
Intellectual Property Code of the Philippines
Intellectual Property Protection in the Philippines

Online Copyright Protection

Sanity Blogging

In between snorting down food like a vacuum cleaner, sprinting to the bathroom for personal necessities whenever the kids permit, attempting to sidestep parenting pitfalls with raising the toddler and being the infant's chew toy, I somehow manage to blog.

How the hell does one fit blogging among all the million other things already crammed into the day?

I have NO frikkin' idea.

All I know is, if I can update my stat messages, I can probably blog. I realized I've been micro-blogging at plurk and facebook anyway, so might as well REAALLY blog, right?

Besides, if I don't create some quiet space for myself, I *will* go nuts. I mean, I love being a SAHM but when you begin spending the day in pajamas, smell like stale milk (and don't even know it), tune out when the kids do a hyperactive chorus and you can't wait until the sweet little things are knocked out for the day, IT IS TIME FOR A BREAK.

It can really get overwhelming. With all the love in the world alive in your heart, you will still have days when you just want to scream. Or not talk at all. Silence can be so precious when you have a toddler who has just realized the wonder of words and how to generate an endless stream of questions.

Blogging makes one feel connected to the self, like you can hear your own thoughts again. You somehow feel connected to other people too when someone comments and shares sentiments with you, albeit online. It's also a fine substitute to talking to yourself if you're hankering for adult company. At least with blogging, nobody's going to think you're cuckoo because you're pretending to talk to someone at an attempt at adult conversation. So, I blog.

But if you find yourself hearing voices or your babies begin sounding like Stewie to you, GET HELP. Lolz.

I do envy the super moms who can breeze through the day without a crease, frown or wrinkle on perfect faces, dresses or figures (nor a prescription for sedative of choice). While I'm lucky enough to have my family around me to help and I married a man who's brave enough to face laundry, I still wish there were more hours in the day AND there was two of me. AT LEAST two, with an option for a third clone. Someone please tell me the perfect home maker does not exist without a battalion of nannies, secretaries, aides and maids!

If budget permits, my conviction says I would hire a maid as support staff, but not a nanny. I still feel that my kids are mine to raise, fuss over, yell at and with.

Anyhoo...

So. How sane are you today?

A Tag and A Quick, Random Update

From Emz! Thanks sis! Now I have to tag ten other bloggers...I'll be updating this as soon as I can.

The Rules:

1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names.
3. Don't forget to leave them comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog (soon).

Meanwhile...

It's 1:23AM and I'm kinda bummed. Oona's asleep, the bottles are sterilized and prepared for tomorrow, house is quiet and I'm bored. This is what I get for napping with Oona earlier. I don't get sleepy enough to go to bed when she does. Friends are asleep and hubby is in Brazil right now, attending to his office duties so I got no one to bug. He called earlier and I can tell he really misses us. We really miss him. Oona takes to asking "Daddy?" every time the front gate chimes ring, when she hears a voice sounding like his or even when she smells cigarette smoke. She even checks the garage if he's just hiding. It breaks my heart to see my little girl missing him even when she doesn't know what she's feeling.

Sure she's still happy and rambunctious but she knows something's missing. Or rather, someone. It's almost a relief to know she's still too young to realize Dad's been gone for about a week now. I don't think I'll be able to take the heartbreak if she cries for him and he can't come to her. I refuse to think what could happen if he doesn't see her for a year. Some kids forget, I know. That makes me think about all the OFWs out there who have kids at home. I know the staying parents do all they can to keep the memory alive with pictures, phone calls and frequent webcam dates. You have to marvel at technology, how it has worked to keep the love alive. For the kids, it's important for them to know that love can reach across space. 

And for us adults, it's even more important to keep the faith that love can survive across the time that stretches between the physical instances of being together. It can get lonely. Like now. Maybe that's why I can't go to sleep. I miss him, I even miss getting cranky and pissed off at him for weird reasons. Maybe that'll teach me not to be so cross and picky with him, after all, he really is malambing and I'm really just a cross, old fart. Or maybe not? 

Hay.

It's just been a week and I probably shouldn't miss him so much. After all, what's our separation compared to people who raise families countries apart?  Sometimes I think I'm just not as strong as other women out there. Other moms hack it on their own, with OFW husbands or as single parents. I know they're able to cope because they have to for their children and their own sanity's sake. My admiration and respect for these women have only steadily increased since I gave birth to Oona. It's incredible how they have managed the intense physical, emotional and mental demands of parenthood by themselves. Along with this, my admiration for mothers (including my own, but don't tell her that or I'll never live it down! :D) has grown tremendously. Just comparing my own experiences to others...it's incredible how mothers make way for their kids and families. Even at the expense of their own plans. 

Well, trading one future for another isn't so bad when you think about what you're getting by way of velcro hugs ("'ag! 'ag!") and sticky kisses. Oh, and when she simultanously calls me and requests to go wherever it is I'm going ("Mamo!"), I could take her to the moon for all it would cost!

Anyway...I was missing RF early this post. Now, I think I'll go upstairs and cuddle up to my sleeping bundle of half his DNA. Maybe I'll only just partly miss him then.

Living with the In-Laws

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've updated my blog. Or checked my email, for that matter: Inbox Unread 855! Mostly newsletters but the odd email from friends show how behind the times I am (They broke up?!...A few letters later, Oh they're planning the wedding now.) The only reason I'm able to write this and the precious three entries I had posted is, as of writing, 1. It's Sunday. 2. Oona is with hubby and his set of family and 3. I have my parents' computer, and myself, all to myself. For a few hours at least! And then, I'm time-releasing this along with my other posts.

Since end of January, RF, Oona and I have been living at my parents' home. We were living in our own apartment with RF's mom, but we've all since decided to separate households. So now, while we're looking for two new places to live for ourselves and for mom-in-law to move to, we're bunking in with my side of the family. Besides, the one we are currently living in is simply too big to maintain for a small family and our needs are minimal. Oona is growing up so we really have to think of how to streamline our finances to accomodate her future needs. This early I'm already contemplating about where to send her to school and if RF and I can afford to buy a shotgun each for her teen years. 

So while the hunt continues, we are bunking at my parents' house. If we can't find a place for our little trio, we might have to stay here until our Beacon condo unit is completed in a year. However, while I love being with family, and Oona's antics keep my parents young, I really recommend having a place of your own. There are lessons to be learned of course, if you are open to it, while living with your budding family under your parents' roof. But it's always better to have your own space. 

You know what they say: A man's home is his castle. Visiting kings can't be lording it. We're so lucky that neither my father or my hubby have any issues with eachother, but I do know that others are not as blessed. There's the hiya factor for one. Even if my parents already think of RF as their son, there's still the feeling that you can't be as free as you would like to be with your actions than if you're in your own home. It's not bad, you are better behaved than you ever were and when you get used to it, you find yourself a lot more refined than when you let it all hang.

The equivalent for me is that there can't be two queens in one castle. My mother and I may agree on a lot of things now that i'm older and less of a bitchy teenager, but there are still things that we disagree on. Both of us certainly have different ways of doing and seeing things. I understand that better now, after all, it's her house and I would most likely be like that in my own space. Maybe it's easier for me than others because my mom and i are related, so we can tolerate each other's nuances of character. Of course, getting along for two people, related or unrelated, will only be as hard as the concerned parties make it. In the end, what's important is you all try your best to treat everyone with courtesy and respect. 

One more thing, intimacy may be a problem especially if there's not enough room in the house. We don't have our own room right now because my parents tore down the entire third floor where there was space enough for up to three bedrooms. This was back when most of us kids had flown the coop and they needed the space to make a sound proof studio for a children's show they were doing. So now, we're refugees on the 2nd floor, camped out on my parent's room. The guys get the floor mattresses and us girls get the beds. Thank god it's a big room and with the aircon and cable tv, very comfortable! My little sister also sleeps here and any of my brothers whenever they're in town. (Yes, it's a pretty big room.) 

While it's like a big sleepover after lights out with all the yakking and giggling we do in the dark, it can get lonely and I can only hold hands with the hubby on the floor and I'm on the bed next to Oona, in the middle of a gaggle of people. Even if my parents aren't prudes, we're not about to sneak off in dark corners or broom closets for a quickie. I agree it sounds exciting, but there are just some things we're not comfortable with. Maybe being legit makes the adventure aspect fall a little flat? But definitely, being in a house with little privacy left for fooling around puts a kink in our romance (not even the good kinda kink). Well, when I discreetly brought up the subject to discreetly lobby for some space (we'll take the storage room!), my mom said that maybe we just lack creativity. Then to my utmost horror and mortification, she proceeded to enumerate where and when one can be naughty. Before I got seriously disturbed, I was able to change the subject. Whatever the case may be, I still can't openly talk about my sex life with my mother. It's just a wee bit disturbing. 

Distinct advantage though! It's probably the best birth control ever! Not that I don't want any kids after Oona, but I do want a bit of space between them for health and sanity purposes.  

Living with in-laws has let us see household-running with fresh eyes. RF and I have to develop our own way of things, but it clearly has to be between him and me to build the rock-solid foundation for our future to stand on. Meanwhile, we are learning and growing as parents and as life-partners. With or without the extra space. >:) There's always Victoria Court anyway! Beats a dark corner anytime. Hehe.

from WM to WAHM to SAHM

that's 'from Working Mom to Work At Home Mom to Stay At Home Mom' to the uninitiated public.

Whew! This past year has certainly been full of surprises! This blog alone, just one facet of my life, has been testament to the major changes that affected all aspects of my existence.

Today i was just supposed to write about the last of my weekend rantings but the more i thought about it, the more i realized it was more than just a mere rant. it's practically a transition from one mode of living to another. You see, in the same long week/weekend that my pc contracted its ongoing disease, my arm gave up on me and my last project almost never saw the light of day, our yaya since oona was born, up and quit.

A lot has happened to warrant her leaving us. Suffice to say that apart from the little things snowballing into big things, she was a great yaya to our little girl up until the day she left. She was conscientious about oona's welfare and well-being, kept oona clean, well-fed and healthy. When oona gets sick, she'd be diligent about medicine, keeping her nasal passages clear, applying hot or cold compresses, hydration and the other million or so things babies need that rf and i were clueless about. She knew how to take care of infants and kids, being the mother of a sickly child herself. She had a lot of good suggestions and insights gleaned from a lifetime of experience being a yaya. We were lucky to have her for as long as we did. However, being human, she was not perfect and neither were we. And there lies the rub, as they say.

To make a long story short, respecting boundaries became an issue in the family. She's become too familiar with us that she increasingly forgot we were her employers. Us, for that matter, found it increasingly difficult to gently deal with her as her attitude was really an indelible part of her. it wasn't that she was evil, it was just that thing when character traits rub people off the wrong way. since we've had her long, she's let her guard down more so she's more kampante. di na pumopormal, like my mother would say. Treating her as part of the family worked only to a certain extent (ensured her dedication to caring for oona), since her behavior towards us frequently crossed the line.

Don't get me wrong, she's really a good person. Strong, knowledgable, caring and would fight for oona to the max should something threaten oona. but i share most of the blame. i should have been more firm with her, more employer-like and less friendly. well, less friendly doesn't mean less kind anyway. it was also my fault for not putting her more firmly in her place whenever she'd cross the line. she comes on too strong kasi, and her opinionated views are more often than not inflicted on everybody non-stop. it's a challenge keeping up in volume and in content when she starts talking. and lately, she forgets that she's talking to her elders and her employers, treating orders as suggestions, pretending she doesn't hear or conveniently forgetting what we say. she would go for her own preferences rather than ours and basically make choices for us.

we did talk to her a bit about these things when it wasn't as bad as it got recently. she reasons well, so sometimes it boils down to a he-said-she-said thing that would just blow things out of proportion if pursued. you know those types of conflicts? when democracy isn't the answer? well, i learned it too late: too much latitude is too much latitude. while it is true that we had our failing as employers, it shouldn't be my burden to try to please her constantly either. i guess i was also afraid that should i show any displeaure, she might vent her ire on my poor little girl. anyhoo, she left only after she herself felt that things were not working out between us all and it was time to go. she said her goodbyes, packed her bags and tried not to cry when oona threw her a flying kiss.

of course, our little girl was terribly upset over the abrupt change. we knew it was something she couldn't name or understand, all she knew was something wasn't right in her ordered world. for a week, her separation anxiety manifested itself in temper tantrums and crying spells. she would be visibly upset if someone said goodbye or anyone left her line of sight. She seemed pretty determined never to be a victim of a broken heart again. I don't blame her, yaya lavished her with much affection and care. The way she cried and clung to us kinda freaked us out so much, rf, me and mamang (rf's mom who lives with us), that we each did our own tradition of warding off usog, loosely translated as unwanted vibes. You know, just to be on the safe side. More than that, we kept oona occupied and comforted whenever she'd feel bad. We took her everywhere we went, including her in all our activities, no matter how mundane. She kept her dad company while he got ready for work, toddled around after me while i did housework (getting in my laundry, 'helping' me clean house using her bib, etc.) and accompanied her grandma on her walks around our condo building.

So far oona's adjusting pretty well now. She's established a new routine, with us filling the void her yaya left. Soon, she'll forget to miss her. It's sad, yes, but these things happen.

As for the rest of the household, we're more relaxed. There's little to no tension among us three. We didn't even realize just how uneasy we've become with each other until she left. All the more that i felt it was really time for this change. You know what they say about people coming into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime, right? Well, yaya was for a season and it was time to let her go and march on without her. Mamang and my mom for one, are happier since they both think she was fast becoming un-disciplineable. No one was going to talk back or give us, especially mamang, lip.

For rf and me, we decided that we weren't going to have another yaya again. Maybe a maid if i get pregnant with kid 2, but definitely not a yaya. We're doing the raising ourselves since we've proven during these past weeks that we could do it and we spent very little time worrying about oona than when we weren't the ones watching over her. I personally feel more like a mother being hands-on like i am now.

Speaking about personal feelings, i told rf that i felt i was really okay making the transition to being full-time with oona. Not that i'm only a mom when i'm with oona, but since the universe was pointing me in this direction, it was definitely time to give up working at home. Sure i could still do rakets, but it must be workable around the times when oona's asleep or she doesn't need me around. I can't do jobs that require me to ignore everything else just to reach a deadline so animation and video editing's out. At least i'm left with writing and a little graphics (when i find the time to get my poor pc fixed), so i won't really starve for creative expression.

Grabe, from assistant studio director of an art studio to full-service freelance graphic artist to my sole lifelong career as mommy to oona, my world got increasingly smaller and my task proportionally all that much harder. But like i told my friends, i'm exponentially happier and satisfied with my life.

I can't ask for anything more than this peace i am so definitely rockin' now!

N@WIE LOVE!

N@W is Newlyweds At Work, a Yahoo Group message board for newlyweds, about to be parents, wanting to be parents...everything that's got to do with being a wife, mother, woman, survivor, working parent, breastfeeding advocate, etc., etc., etc. Most are women though the odd guy comes around to see what post his wife keeps mentioning. Whatever the issue, there's a thread about it, a zillion ears to listen and shoulders to lean on or cry on. I'm not always an active poster, being guilty of running to the group mostly when I've got something I'm completely stumped about, but it's the equivalent of a sorority house without the hassles of being an initiate or a pledge. You can be sure of the support, understanding and wise advice of your sisters and brothers at N@W.

For those who don't know what being a N@wie is, it's the best group a first time mom can be in. Spinning off from the W@Wies (Weddings at Work) who went through the wedding and are now parents, the N@wies are a fun and supportive bunch even if I haven't met them all IRL (in real life).

And because I love this group, I made badges with the blessings of Benz of the W@Wie Rana Dynamic Duo :D Please feel free to grab one to post wherever you wish! Just right click and save. Link the image up to the W@W portal or N@W site so more moms out there can find their way to the group!

Here's the first batch! :)



More to come! Enjoy!

MILK ALERT!

This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful Oona was breastfed during her infancy and how I'm hoping I can still continue being her milkmaid. Right now, Oona is mixed-fed, leaning more towards formula (SAAAAAAD MOMMY LAYA!) and solid food. I'm nearly dry now, but for 6 months she was exclusively getting her food from me.

One thing I truly regret now from being a working mom, was that my milk supply began to suffer because I couldn't feed her on demand. Back then I had a stressful job that had me in the office during the day and well into the night. Sure I pumped like mad and made sure my Medela PISO (Hehehe! No pun intended!) paid for itself, but not having Oona around to encourage the let-down made all the difference. So my milk went down eventually, that at eight months, she was having more and more formula because I couldn't keep up. By ten months, when I finally resigned from work, my milk was truly down since she also ate more solid food as well. I felt worse because just when I could be with Oona all day to respond to her needs, I had less milk to give her and she needed less as well.

At thirteen months, Oona still turns to me for comfort feeding at night. For me, it's an affirmation that we still share that bond and I treasure it more than ever! She still wouldn't accept a bottle from me and would only consent to my giving her formula when she's really hungry. Yes she's used to accepting a bottle from her Dad, her Grandma or her Nanny Rina, but not really from Mommy. I'm glad she expects me to satisfy her need for sustenance and comfort, but it breaks my heart not to be able to give her as much as her little tummy needs now.

Her pediatrician recommended Nan HA1 when she started formula feeding. According to my research, NAN H.A. (Hypoallergenic) with Protect Start^TM/ /Protect Plus^TM has added probiotics ("good" bacteria) that helps create protective intestinal flora like breastfed infants have. It promotes gastrointestinal health, helps reduce the incidence of diarrhea and has easily digestible proteins that helps reduce the risk of allergies. So far Oona liked it and has been on Nan ever since.

She then graduated to Nan HA2 which for awhile concerned us because we couldn't find it in Waltermart where we shopped. It turned out that they just changed the HA to HW, but it's still the same banana. It's getting harder to find though since the demand's high and we have to go all the way to SM Supermarket just to find Nan HW 3, which she's on now because she's past 1 year old.

The growing unavailability got me alarmed too, especially since China's milk crisis. I had to go online to check if Nestle was affected. I know Switzerland is far from China, but who knows how far these things go, right?

Apparently, all milk that was manufactured anywhere else except China is safe. Nan HA 1 and 2 are from Switzerland and Nan HW 1 and 2 are from Germany and they have passed safety and hygiene tests. Other milk manufactured here in the Philippines are also safe like those from Mead Johnson, Wyeth and Abbott and no raw material for these products come from China.

At least, knowing Oona's safe has given me room to breathe a sigh of relief. For now. That is, who's to say it can't happen again? If not the chemical scandal that China's facing now, what about another form of contamination? There are periodic recalls, protests, boycotts and the like all across the baby milk brands. From metal particles to dioxin, packaging problems to chemical imbalances in the formulation, making baby milk is very sensitive business.

It's not just China who has a problem. Nobody's really safe and I may just be a paranoid mother here, but I'm scared because this is my child we're talking about. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I was primarily scared for everyone, but having your own child makes you a little bit selfish that way. I wouldn't want to be the mother of one of those kids who developed kidney failure and died or is now seriously sick and hospitalized from melamine in a brand I trusted. My guilt would be too great, eating me alive.

My child trusts me to make decisions for her well-being and health. She trusts me to raise her as a healthy, human being. And because of that trust, she will take what I give her. I fear the day then that through this trust, that nobody should ever violate (especially me, her parent), she would be taken ill or die. I feel for those mothers and fathers, it is not their fault and should never have been their burden in the first place. They could never have known that the trust they gave their brand would be violated, in effect violating the pact they had with their children. I can only barely imagine their pain, anguish and rage.

Yes, now I truly wish I could produce milk again for Oona, if only to beat a scare I never thought of. Breastmilk is truly the best food for our babies. It's pure, unadulterated, and perfect . . . just as Mother Nature intended specially for us. But if we can't and need something more for our children, may we be saved from the heartache China's parents are experiencing now.

OCTOBER IS ATTACHMENT PARENTING MONTH

October is Attachment Parenting Month.

For many of us in this part of the world, Attachment Parenting isn't really a new concept. How we care for our children, like breastfeeding, swaddling, co-sleeping and maintaining close contact are part and parcel of our heritage. It is deeply ingrained in our society that still sustains extended family ties and caring for our elders in their twilight years.

It's a little jarring then, and very humbling to learn that other countries don't do it like we do and take this kind of upbringing far less for granted. Since it's almost second nature for us, we tend to overlook just how valuable our customs in raising our children are.

In other countries, especially the US, there is a resurgence of this kind of parenting, which they call Attachment Parenting, a term coined by Dr. William Sears (yes, THAT Dr. Sears!).

According to Dr. Sears' theory, groups like the Attachment Parenting International (API) promote the development of a secure bond with children through eight principles or goals for parents.

These are:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Engage in Nighttime Parenting
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

These are naturally subject to personal interpretation. Attachment parents can also choose to have a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle.

According to Wikipedia, the NFL lifestyle ascribes to practices "such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, the anti-vaccination movement, natural health, cooperative movements, and support of organic food."

The good thing about Dr. Sears is that he doesn't require any strict set of rules, instead he 's encouraging parents to creatively respond to a child's needs. Attachment parenting, in a nutshell, really focuses on the responses that help develop secure attachments.

I really think it's just getting back to our roots. That primeval bond between parent and young that gets lost in the modern day grind of work, career, material comfort and their accompanying results. Childhood is today's greatest casualty.

From the API website:

About AP Month

What: Attachment Parenting International (API), along with the Sears family and other prominent AP supporters, have declared October to be Attachment Parenting (AP) Month.

The AP Month vision is to create one strong voice for AP through activities, events and information and to celebrate what we believe in — the value of “Giving Our Children Presence” for our families and for our communities.

Who: All parents, AP partners and like minds around the world are invited and encouraged to join with us in “Giving Our Children Presence” during the first annual Attachment Parenting Month.

Why: “Giving Our Children Presence” is the theme for AP Month 2008 and an antidote to the upcoming holidays so often filled with the giving of material presents. During AP Month, parents are challenged to incorporate more family time into each day and AP Month partners will offer resources to support and sustain these efforts all year round.

Key AP Month Goals include unifying the AP voice to:

1. Offer parents and adults support and confidence in “Giving Our Children Presence” to last a lifetime
2. Promote awareness of AP
3. Educate about API, other AP Month sponsors and their services
4. Provide a source of funds to support the API mission

Resources: The AP Month Central website is the gateway to information about AP Month. It includes a calendar of activities in which to participate and the AP Month Toolkit as resource for you to use to plan and promoting your own events and activities for October.

Our love, our presence, our time and attention are the most important things we can give our kids.

I'm glad the other half of today's culture (the "westernly" half) is becoming more involved with this kind of parenting. I'm also hoping it's not just a fad or a novelty for them, as with most movements that start out with good intentions. And for us who already use this kind of parenting style, may we learn to appreciate our parenting heritage more, value it and affirm its benefits through our own kids.