Toddler Theatrics

And the Award for Best Actress
in a Dramatic Role goes to....

My three year old has decided that life is her stage and she is determined to throw herself into the ultimate performance of her young life. Watching her, I'd have to say that she really does have potential to be her generation's best dramatic actress! She immerses herself so totally in her role that she IS the role! Her method of portrayal, her characterization, is so complete that she convinces her audience and herself of the reality and depth of the performance. All in all a powerful, moving and disturbing thing to watch.

For the first time in her life, our Oona has been afflicted with a mouth sore or singaw as we call it. And her 10 decibel pain, is my pain, is everybody's pain within a 3 mile radius.

She is The Pain.

We've all moved, as a family and as individuals, from various degrees of involvement and varying emotional reactions.

First, pity for the child who's never experienced the stinging pain of a mouth sore and its medications. Then, distress as she starts crying when it becomes unbearable for her to suffer in whimpering silence. Next, stress levels escalate in worry as nothing seems to soothe her anguish and a quick remedy isn't quick enough. Nerves begin to fray when one realizes that the child is playing it to the hilt. True it hurts but not enough to warrant full waterworks and each sentence to be punctuated by an empathic 'Owww!'. Extreme annoyance hits at this point when one realizes one has been had and the actress in question continues to ham it up for the audience that matters: Daddy (who gives in to demands to be carried around like a baby) and Grandpa (who hovers in worry, growling that his granddaughter is suffering and something MUST be done!).

Mommy and Grandma roll eyes and facepalms.

Normally when she does her whining and theater exercises, I run the gamut of talking to her through it, scolding, or ignoring it until she stops. On bad days when I'm running short on temper and she can't seem to stop, I get mad, we have a scream-fest and I ultimately send her to the corner. She usually stops, says she's sorry and says she's tired that's why she's starting to act up. We talk, make up and have quiet time or sleep.

This time, with the mouth sore, of course it's different.
Mouth sores are caused by bacteria and can happen to anyone. Oona bit her inner lip by accident and the little nip got infected. Falling asleep with her milk bottle still in her mouth and forgetting to brush her teeth did the rest. Yes, I do feel guilty for not being extra vigilant. Just this one time when I thought I could relax a little, the sore happens and we pay for it!

At first I made her gargle Bactidol, Listerine, and a salt and water solution. It was ok but then she seemed to get worse so we went to my dentist Aunt Grace who gave her an oral care gel. It seemed to work until night hit and her lip seemed to be swollen. By midnight, she couldn't fall asleep anymore as her mouth dried and as she yawned in sleep, the sore stretched and she kept waking up in pain. She even woke up Olly with her crying and as they both started crying, I wanted to cry too. It had been going on ALL DAY, the crying, whining, owww-ing...I was getting so irritated, I knew I'd reached my absolute limit. Poor RF woke up, dazed and tired because the little girls were crying and I was yelling for Oona to stop ("It's going to hurt you more!") but Oona was too far gone: really sleepy, tired, in pain, frustrated and unable to stop herself.

I wanted to go out in the middle of the night to try and find the new-fangled instant remedy that I saw at the drugstore earlier. I would have bought one right then just to give Oona some relief and us some peace, but it was out of stock. RF and I were looking at each other, my extreme annoyance breaking into exasperation and inexplicably, I felt a stupid smile on my face. The things they don't tell you about parenthood! Haha.

Desperate times. We decided for desperate measures.

I was hoping not to have to resort to the all-time favorite, old-skool remedy of putting ground tawas (alum) on the sore or gargling with it in salt and water. Hurts like h*ll but the sore would be banished in an instant. I was afraid it might further traumatize her, but in this case, prolonging the pain was probably worse. Plus, she woke up the whole household, growling Grandpa included ("Tell your Aunt to give her the strong medicine! It'll hurt once and then she'll be fine! Tawas doesn't work!").

Aunt Gly was thoughtful enough to give us a mixture already prepared with kalamansi. She squeezed kalamansi juice over ground alum and when it dried, it looked like golden brown sugar crystals. Oona was screaming, her theatrics turning into hysterics when I asked her to open her mouth for the medicine. I told her it was going to hurt but it would utlimately make her feel better.

Just a pinch but it *did* hurt like hell. And if she could swear, Oona would have put a sailor to shame and I would have grounded her for life for being a potty mouth. But all she bravely did was keep her mouth open like I asked her to while I put on the tawas, RF holding her while she cried and cried and cried :(

After a few moments, we had her gargle with water to wash out the alum. And almost instantly, the pain began to fade as her lip went numb. In a few minutes, she was quiet and when I asked her if she felt better, she was already able to reply (whimperingly) yes.

Sigh.

It took two more applications before the sore was gone completely. She still cried and groused about having to put medicine that she knew would hurt, but she was very brave and trusting enough to let me put it on her.

Writing this down now, I feel like I want to cry. It sometimes sucks to be the one to dole out the tough love. Deep down, even while she thrashed, yelled and cried, Oona trusted my word that what I would do would heal her even if it hurt her badly. Her faith in me makes me feel so small and humble. I'm sorry that it hurt or that she had to have that sore in the first place, but I'm sorrier I have to hurt her first to make her feel better.

Now she knows better than to go to bed with a bottle and without brushing. She drinks more water, especially after eating and drinking milk or juice. She says it's so her teeth will be happy and her mouth won't have germs anymore.

We now have some peace, of course and she's her sweet but spicy little self again as opposed to Olly's totally sweet nature. Her theatrics have gone back down to almost nil or only when she hasn't had her afternoon naps. What hasn't changed though, I've noticed, is that the theatrics come on when Daddy's around or Grandpa's eligible to be dragged outside to play.

Whenever that happens, I leave the menfolk to her "tender" mercies and I tune out to save my sanity! After all, that doesn't require tawas and Mommy's tough love to deal with.

Mommy's Little Big Helper

I promised Oona that we'd allocate some space in our room for us to "practice schooling". Going to a big school is a dream of hers and "practicing" for it is her motivation for a lot of things. I'm teaching her that preparing for it is just as important as actually going. This means practicing her listening skills, learning how to follow rules and instructions, and putting things in their proper places among other things.

So a few weeks ago, we fixed up a corner in the room to be our designated "school area". I told her she'd best help me because it's part of getting ready to go to a real school. The room was a holy mess anyway with all her stuff strewn about, so now was as good a time as any! We brought out her little plastic worktable and chairs and I let her have my collapsible storage boxes to put all her things in.

Fixing up!

She picked up all her stuff, segregated the hard toys from the soft toys and put the legos, puzzles and blocks in their respective "houses" (containers where they 'live') . She even helped me fix her books and put aside those that Olly could already inherit.

That done, we threw away broken toys, junk paper and debris, swept and mopped; and put her baby dolls to sleep on top of the toy boxes.

I guess that activity helped concretize a lot of things for her, two major concepts I was gunning for being the importance of preparation and helping out.

Nowadays, she's taken up other ways of helping without any prompting from anyone. I know that half of that helpfulness comes from curiosity and wanting to be involved in absolutely everything (sometimes to the point of exasperation on my part!). But what makes my little momma's heart swell with motherly love and pride is when she says she wants to help and you know she just really wants to.

'Mom, I want to help wichoo!', then off like a shot sometimes without even waiting for me to answer. Often like predictive text, she'll just hand me whatever she's previously observed me needing for that particular activity she's assisting me with. Mostly it's with taking care of Olly and cooking noodles she likes to help me out with. She'd get me diapers and wipes, advise me to put jelly on her sister's butt ('So no rashes, Mom!') and distract olly with funny faces or a toy while i wrestle a diaper on. When it's reading time, she'd get a book for herself and one for olly.

Recently, Olly fell off the bed while I was so weak from a really bad tooth pain. Oona scrambled out of bed and marched calmly downstairs to inform Lola that she needed the ice pack because Olly fell. She also got me medicine and a water bottle because my teeth hurt. She recommended I brush my teeth so that they'll be happy too; after which, she insisted on being Doctor Oona and put the medicine in my mouth and giving me water to drink. Then she kissed little sobbing Olly and said, 'It's okay, sweetheart!'.

I wanted to cry! I haven't totally been a monster at all *sniff* Seems I'm doing something right!



Assistant Chef Oona



She likes to participate in cooking too, whether it's helping Lola peel vegetables, piling the chopped vegetables in a bowl or putting the peelings in a container for the organic waste bin. With me, she's in charge of the spice rack and handing me the noodles or macaroni to put in boiling water. I let her stir on occasion too when there's no danger of anything hot spilling. Watching Safety Patrol on Playhouse Disney helps a lot because she's very careful and conscious about safety measures around the house. She also tries to help wash dishes with Daddy (she's in charge of putting them on the dish rack to dry), holding the dust pan when Lola cleans the floor (Oona bids for the broom or mop but she makes more of a mess) and helps fold and put away our clean laundry. She sometimes wears our clean laundry on her head first or pretends that the socks are long gloves. She's still a baby, after all! Play is still a central part of her life!

Oona also packs away after playing, turns off the tv after watching and makes sure her shoes and slippers are neatly in their proper place. She sets the table, puts water from the dispenser in the drinking glasses and calls everyone to the table to eat.

Automatically, she shares anything she eats with Olly who is now a very adventurous eater ('Mommy, pwede kay Olly ato?' or 'Mommy can Olly eat this?') and puts her bowl in the sink when she's done. She volunteers to change Olly too when I'm getting them ready for bed. Of course she can't, but she manages to help get pyjamas for both of them, take Olly's shirt off, put dirty clothes in the hamper ('Dirty na 'to, Mommy?') and change her own clothes.

Gosh...

I can go on and never finish this entry as every day brings a new revelation. Little things to us other people but accomplishments to her and milestones worthy of pride for me. They may be everyday, ordinary things but it's showing me that my little girl is not only practising for her school days, she's really getting ready for independent life in general. I can only hope I do a good enough job of equipping her for that!

Now if I can be sure that I'll be ready for her independepence! Ayayay! :)

Monkey See, Monkey Do



My baby's growing up!
Seriously considering what
she likes from the menu at Pizza Hut.



Nowadays, I see a lot of signs that my three year old is truly growing by leaps and bounds. When they say that children are sponges and clean slates, I think no further than Oona as proof. And growing up around a 'colorful' group of adults is certainly adding to her growing repertoire of character quirks.

Getting frustrated earlier because her slippers wouldn't stay on her foot, she exclaims, 'What the hey?!' (That's from me.) *Sigh*

Watching cartoons, she non-chalantly crossed her legs in so lady-like a manner, you'd think she was having tea with the queen. (My mother.)

Building a tower of blocks to an unsustainable height, the structure crashes because the fan blew on it. She lets out a roar of anger at the fan, saying, 'You see?!' Then she stomps away to a sulk on a chair. (Anything I say now, can and will be used against me...so I will keep my peace!)

I so worry all the time that she would be thrust into social situations wherein her "performance" would be scrutinized and when she's not at her best, she'll be punished for it. Of course, I'm terrified I'll be blamed for it and judged! Tell me, who isn't? I'm actually afraid that I might not be a good enough mom for her and she suffers for my negligence!

I don't want to be a helicopter parent though, so I'm trying my best not to be anal retentive. You know, just be cool...and not panic when she pretends not to listen or throws a drama queen fit.

*Sigh* AGAIN.

Needless to say, it's not all bad habits that she absorbs. So imagine my relief...



With Olly and Lolo Lem

 When Olly cries, Oona hurries over and coos, "It's okay, Olly! Don't cry, my sweetheart!" And pats and kisses her.

When friends and family came to visit, she trundles out the biscuits, bread and pesters me for candy. I thought at first it was because she wanted to eat them all, but I was speechless when she offered them to our guests and said, "For you. Please come eat at the table." (Proud mommy moment!)

She also sees departing guests to the door, saying "Goodbye! Take care!".

When at the grocery, she would get yogurt for herself and then say she wants another one "for her uncle because it's his favorite too!" Then proceeds to get stuff from the shelves that she knows the other people on the family would like and calls them her "Surprise!".

*Sigh* I could go on all day about the incredible things she's done and said, but I'm tearing up already! :)

So okay, I think I remember more happy, positive imitations that Oona does of the people around her. Thank goodness! Writing them down helps remind me that she's going to be okay.

I guess, the important thing is to call out and process the negative stuff with her in such a way that she understands. Then affirm and applaud the positives. :) AAAAAnd remember to be on our best behaviour all the time too! Role modeling is the best teaching aid there is.

Lolz...When I was young, I wanted to be a commercial model. I still do...but little did I know I'd be one as a mother to my daughters! Role-modeling!

Now if only I could learn to be less anxious if I'm doing a good job of raising good people! I wonder if that can ever happen as long as I'm a mom! :)

Sanity Blogging

In between snorting down food like a vacuum cleaner, sprinting to the bathroom for personal necessities whenever the kids permit, attempting to sidestep parenting pitfalls with raising the toddler and being the infant's chew toy, I somehow manage to blog.

How the hell does one fit blogging among all the million other things already crammed into the day?

I have NO frikkin' idea.

All I know is, if I can update my stat messages, I can probably blog. I realized I've been micro-blogging at plurk and facebook anyway, so might as well REAALLY blog, right?

Besides, if I don't create some quiet space for myself, I *will* go nuts. I mean, I love being a SAHM but when you begin spending the day in pajamas, smell like stale milk (and don't even know it), tune out when the kids do a hyperactive chorus and you can't wait until the sweet little things are knocked out for the day, IT IS TIME FOR A BREAK.

It can really get overwhelming. With all the love in the world alive in your heart, you will still have days when you just want to scream. Or not talk at all. Silence can be so precious when you have a toddler who has just realized the wonder of words and how to generate an endless stream of questions.

Blogging makes one feel connected to the self, like you can hear your own thoughts again. You somehow feel connected to other people too when someone comments and shares sentiments with you, albeit online. It's also a fine substitute to talking to yourself if you're hankering for adult company. At least with blogging, nobody's going to think you're cuckoo because you're pretending to talk to someone at an attempt at adult conversation. So, I blog.

But if you find yourself hearing voices or your babies begin sounding like Stewie to you, GET HELP. Lolz.

I do envy the super moms who can breeze through the day without a crease, frown or wrinkle on perfect faces, dresses or figures (nor a prescription for sedative of choice). While I'm lucky enough to have my family around me to help and I married a man who's brave enough to face laundry, I still wish there were more hours in the day AND there was two of me. AT LEAST two, with an option for a third clone. Someone please tell me the perfect home maker does not exist without a battalion of nannies, secretaries, aides and maids!

If budget permits, my conviction says I would hire a maid as support staff, but not a nanny. I still feel that my kids are mine to raise, fuss over, yell at and with.

Anyhoo...

So. How sane are you today?