Getting Ready For The Season's Eating!

As of today I have lost 16lbs. since I started on my Luscious Dare. I plan to continue losing more with the proper diet and the exercise I have added to my daily routine. Moreover, I am unafraid and unfazed at the temptations I'd have to face with the upcoming holidays :D

It's important to stay fit ESPECIALLY during the holidays with its parties, holiday food and generous gifts of sweets and Holiday goodies. There's really no need to fast or keep yourself from enjoying what the season has to offer. What's important is only putting on your plate what you really want to eat and can finish. You can always go back for seconds anyway, but bear in mind that you should eat in moderation and only until you're full.

Also, don't let your exercise routine go on holiday either! From my friend Jessica at Gymsource, here are 10 Easy Exercises we can do to enjoy the holidays and not regret it after!

So, what's the best form of exercise? The one you'll actually do!

As long as your fitness program:

A. Raises your heart rate

B. Has a strength training component

C. And is done at least thirty minutes a day five days a week – you'll experience significant health benefits.

Variety is the spice of life; it keeps you motivated and works better for your body by working different muscle groups. You don't need to go to a gym and use fitness equipment. In fact, here are ten simple, yet effective exercises you can do in the comfort of your own home that can help prevent putting on holiday weight:

1. Take a Hike/Stroll

It's also simple, low-impact and easy on the joints – just put on a comfortable pair of shoes, step outside and walk at a fairly brisk pace around your neighborhood. It's a great way to clear the head and improve your mood – it may be cold, but will give you an opportunity to enjoy all the lights and decorations for the holiday season. 

If you have babies like I do, break out the stroller and push away at the nearest park. It'll give you the chance to show your kids what the world looks like during Christmas season. Just be sure to bundle up the little ones, pack biscuits and water, hand sanitizers and wipes. (Oh, diapers too!)

2. Jump!

Act like your kids on Christmas morning! Jump up and down, or do some jumping jacks. They're a great way to get the heart pumping and the limbs loosened up. 15-20 repetitions with a minute or two of rest between sets for thirty minutes should be sufficient. This will increase endurance and work on toning your thighs.

Jump with your hyperactive toddler or let her do the counting with you. It's a great way to teach her how to count!

3. "Drop and Give Me 20, Soldier!" 

While the babies are playing on the floor, you can join them by having your own floor time workout.  

Push-ups confer all the same strength-training benefits of bench presses with barbells – without the risk of handling heavy weights and need for a "spotter." You can adjust the intensity by elevating your feet. Push-ups do more than work your arms, they are a total body workout.

4. Lift That Leg

This provides a strength training workout for the thighs and adductors (muscles that attach the upper leg to the hip). If you can't manage leg lifts with a straight leg, bend the knee. I actually do this while breastfeeding Olly, sitting in the rocking chair or lying on either side on the bed.

5. Washboard Abs?

You may not get "ripped" by doing crunches, but you'll definitely work your ab muscles – and this will award real benefits to your back as well, and you will see an improvement in toning your abs.

6. You Can Keep Running In Place...

...and you should. This is an exercise you can do while watching TV, making the "boob tube" actually good for something. You can also do it while stringing popcorn on the string for the tree.

7. The Squatters...

No, we don't mean settling land that isn't yours – it's what you do every time you sit in and get up from a chair. Just do it several times until you "feel the burn...", and for added weight training, you can do it while you carry the baby around. I do this every time with Olly and she falls asleep to the rhythmic motion.

8. Household Weight Equipment

Cans of food, milk and water jugs, sacks of flour (even the baby!) – you'd be amazed at how much weight training equipment is just sitting in your pantry or refrigerator. (Who knew your could actually lose weight with using your holiday baking ingredients?)

I actually use two cans of corned beef and a can of luncheon meat in a plastic bag as weights. They don't sound like much but after a few reps and sets, it's what my aching muscles would call a "heavy meal"!

9. Roll Up The Carpet

The latest craze is dancing off the weight, but not all of us can get to the classes when they are offered and the videos cost more than Christmas. Instead roll up the carpet, and crack up the tunes, whether it's Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas" or whatever is on the radio, dancing will increase your aerobic hear rate, and help with endurance training.

My three year old Oona is the best dancing partner anyone can ask for. She's just a bundle of infectious energy and joy that it's impossible to feel tired when you're dancing along with her. You keep laughing too so that's an added lung workout!

10. Steppin' Up

Finally, you don't have to buy a bench step and sign up for a step class to do step. Chances are you've got a step or two around your home. So while those cookies are in the oven, run the stairs a few times. The timers will make great intervals and keep you fit while baking!

Again, doing this with Olly every time. She's kept amused by Mommy bouncing up and down, I get added weight training, and Oona can play with her towers in peace (Olly loves toppling things now as much as Oona loves piling her blocks as high as they can go).

The fact of the matter is, that all of these are not difficult, and do not require patience, or a long drawn out explanation. They are simple and they WORK. So maybe you aren't getting fit on treadmills, or ellipticals, but the end result is the same and you will have a lot of extra cash to go and spend it on holiday gifts, or a treat for yourself!

There are really a lot of ways to fit getting fit into your schedule. It's really just up to you to decide what you want for yourself. I really want to be healthier and physically fit to enjoy my children's childhood with them, that's why I'm doing this. It's not an overnight thing, but keeping at it really works. That, for me, is the best holiday gift ever!

Happy FIT Holidays! ;D

Toddler Theatrics

And the Award for Best Actress
in a Dramatic Role goes to....

My three year old has decided that life is her stage and she is determined to throw herself into the ultimate performance of her young life. Watching her, I'd have to say that she really does have potential to be her generation's best dramatic actress! She immerses herself so totally in her role that she IS the role! Her method of portrayal, her characterization, is so complete that she convinces her audience and herself of the reality and depth of the performance. All in all a powerful, moving and disturbing thing to watch.

For the first time in her life, our Oona has been afflicted with a mouth sore or singaw as we call it. And her 10 decibel pain, is my pain, is everybody's pain within a 3 mile radius.

She is The Pain.

We've all moved, as a family and as individuals, from various degrees of involvement and varying emotional reactions.

First, pity for the child who's never experienced the stinging pain of a mouth sore and its medications. Then, distress as she starts crying when it becomes unbearable for her to suffer in whimpering silence. Next, stress levels escalate in worry as nothing seems to soothe her anguish and a quick remedy isn't quick enough. Nerves begin to fray when one realizes that the child is playing it to the hilt. True it hurts but not enough to warrant full waterworks and each sentence to be punctuated by an empathic 'Owww!'. Extreme annoyance hits at this point when one realizes one has been had and the actress in question continues to ham it up for the audience that matters: Daddy (who gives in to demands to be carried around like a baby) and Grandpa (who hovers in worry, growling that his granddaughter is suffering and something MUST be done!).

Mommy and Grandma roll eyes and facepalms.

Normally when she does her whining and theater exercises, I run the gamut of talking to her through it, scolding, or ignoring it until she stops. On bad days when I'm running short on temper and she can't seem to stop, I get mad, we have a scream-fest and I ultimately send her to the corner. She usually stops, says she's sorry and says she's tired that's why she's starting to act up. We talk, make up and have quiet time or sleep.

This time, with the mouth sore, of course it's different.
Mouth sores are caused by bacteria and can happen to anyone. Oona bit her inner lip by accident and the little nip got infected. Falling asleep with her milk bottle still in her mouth and forgetting to brush her teeth did the rest. Yes, I do feel guilty for not being extra vigilant. Just this one time when I thought I could relax a little, the sore happens and we pay for it!

At first I made her gargle Bactidol, Listerine, and a salt and water solution. It was ok but then she seemed to get worse so we went to my dentist Aunt Grace who gave her an oral care gel. It seemed to work until night hit and her lip seemed to be swollen. By midnight, she couldn't fall asleep anymore as her mouth dried and as she yawned in sleep, the sore stretched and she kept waking up in pain. She even woke up Olly with her crying and as they both started crying, I wanted to cry too. It had been going on ALL DAY, the crying, whining, owww-ing...I was getting so irritated, I knew I'd reached my absolute limit. Poor RF woke up, dazed and tired because the little girls were crying and I was yelling for Oona to stop ("It's going to hurt you more!") but Oona was too far gone: really sleepy, tired, in pain, frustrated and unable to stop herself.

I wanted to go out in the middle of the night to try and find the new-fangled instant remedy that I saw at the drugstore earlier. I would have bought one right then just to give Oona some relief and us some peace, but it was out of stock. RF and I were looking at each other, my extreme annoyance breaking into exasperation and inexplicably, I felt a stupid smile on my face. The things they don't tell you about parenthood! Haha.

Desperate times. We decided for desperate measures.

I was hoping not to have to resort to the all-time favorite, old-skool remedy of putting ground tawas (alum) on the sore or gargling with it in salt and water. Hurts like h*ll but the sore would be banished in an instant. I was afraid it might further traumatize her, but in this case, prolonging the pain was probably worse. Plus, she woke up the whole household, growling Grandpa included ("Tell your Aunt to give her the strong medicine! It'll hurt once and then she'll be fine! Tawas doesn't work!").

Aunt Gly was thoughtful enough to give us a mixture already prepared with kalamansi. She squeezed kalamansi juice over ground alum and when it dried, it looked like golden brown sugar crystals. Oona was screaming, her theatrics turning into hysterics when I asked her to open her mouth for the medicine. I told her it was going to hurt but it would utlimately make her feel better.

Just a pinch but it *did* hurt like hell. And if she could swear, Oona would have put a sailor to shame and I would have grounded her for life for being a potty mouth. But all she bravely did was keep her mouth open like I asked her to while I put on the tawas, RF holding her while she cried and cried and cried :(

After a few moments, we had her gargle with water to wash out the alum. And almost instantly, the pain began to fade as her lip went numb. In a few minutes, she was quiet and when I asked her if she felt better, she was already able to reply (whimperingly) yes.

Sigh.

It took two more applications before the sore was gone completely. She still cried and groused about having to put medicine that she knew would hurt, but she was very brave and trusting enough to let me put it on her.

Writing this down now, I feel like I want to cry. It sometimes sucks to be the one to dole out the tough love. Deep down, even while she thrashed, yelled and cried, Oona trusted my word that what I would do would heal her even if it hurt her badly. Her faith in me makes me feel so small and humble. I'm sorry that it hurt or that she had to have that sore in the first place, but I'm sorrier I have to hurt her first to make her feel better.

Now she knows better than to go to bed with a bottle and without brushing. She drinks more water, especially after eating and drinking milk or juice. She says it's so her teeth will be happy and her mouth won't have germs anymore.

We now have some peace, of course and she's her sweet but spicy little self again as opposed to Olly's totally sweet nature. Her theatrics have gone back down to almost nil or only when she hasn't had her afternoon naps. What hasn't changed though, I've noticed, is that the theatrics come on when Daddy's around or Grandpa's eligible to be dragged outside to play.

Whenever that happens, I leave the menfolk to her "tender" mercies and I tune out to save my sanity! After all, that doesn't require tawas and Mommy's tough love to deal with.

The Luscious Dare: Eat Smart, Eat Healthy, Eat Right

I decided to go for balancing food intake, gently cleansing my system and letting go of bad eating habits as far as dieting went. I couldn't go all out on detox or dieting to the max because when my body flushes out toxins, Olly might ingest whatever they are through my breastmilk.

I had to replant the thought in my head that whatever I put in my mouth is what I feed Olly but it doesn't give me an excuse to binge on whatever I want.

Water and fiber are the main components of my diet as I need to be hydrated and to help my body "sweep out" toxins efficiently.

In the morning I drink a liver tonic to help it process waste properly and for breakfast, bulk up on fiber. Remember, you put on and keep weight because your body is not able to process and eliminate the waste you accumulate. You really are a walking bag of toxic biowaste! Haha :P That's a nice way of saying the obvious!

Apple Cider Vinegar,
Honey and Water

Anyhoo, the liver tonic is as follows:

Mix 1 tbsp of Apple Cider vinegar (I use Bragg's, available in any supermarket) or 1 tbsp fresh squeezed calamansi or lemon with 1 tbsp of Honey in a glass or mug of hot water. Sip it like tea first thing in the morning before any breakfast.

Our livers should be taken care of as they help process waste and keep our blood healthy. So if you have liver problems or just want to keep your liver healthy, then a cleansing liver tonic might be what you need. Helps me poop and maintain pH balance too. My sister also swears that it helped settle her hyperacidity (weird enough).
 
I also mix a sachet of Cillium with another glass of water for added fiber. By now I've had 2 glasses of liquid.

For breakfast, I soak a bowl of muesli in hot water. When it's all soft and mushy, I mix in a teaspoon of honey. It may not look much but the dried fruit, oats, nuts and grains are really heavy. They expand further in your tummy giving you a full feeling like pasta does.

Some whole wheat bread with butter or jam follows if I'm still peckish but usually a mug of hot coco or water with the muesli is enough.

After 30minutes, when my stomach's started digesting, I drink my supplements with another tall glass of water. That would be the Luxxe Slim, Luxxe Protect, malunggay and calcium.

For lunch, I've opted out of rice since I tend to heap it on my plate. I have soup, bread, vegetables, and fruit instead. If there's pasta, I try to control consumption by drinking lots of water again. I stay away from too much salt and sugar. So that means no soft drinks, iced tea or juice.

Merienda snacks consist of bread or crackers and fruits. Cheese and yoghurt are good too. Then lots of water.

Dinner would simple fare as well, soups, vegetables, fish or chicken and some bread.

After 30 minutes, I drink Luxxe Slim, Luxxe Protect, malunggay and iron (only when I have my period).

SO far it's been more than a month and my body's gotten used to this diet. I haven't craved for rice after the first three days and I've lessened my bread servings as well. I only have enough carb to maintain good levels of it in my system as I still need some and I've given up pork as well.

In a nutshell:

HAVE: Lots of hydration
            Fiber
            Fruits
            Veggies
            Vitamins and Mineral Supplements
            Proteins (fish, chicken, pork or beef)
            Complex carbs (brown rice, if you have some...whole wheat breads)

DON'T: Sweets
             Salt

DON'T STARVE YOURSELF or else your body will go int ofamine mode and start slowing metabolism down and storing fat. Eat something when you feel hungry, but the key is to EAT SMART, RIGHT AND HEALTHY! Keep your body happy and clean and the pounds will drop away :)

Previous: The Supplements
Next: Exercise!

I Have A New Blog! *drumroll* LIVING LUSCIOUSNESS

I decided that my soul-searching merited a new blog.



living lusciousness

 Mainly for my health, wellness and beauty rants, raves and food for the soul, this will also chronicle my very own personal journey to inner and outer beauty, self-acceptance and a positive self-image.

It was just a small topic that blossomed as my introspection grew. I guess after years of feeling ugly, and denying myself the affirmation of my own inner light, I'm done with feeling like a victim. I am moving from the backseat and taking control of my life.

Being a mom can really open up so many things for a woman.

Though I have gone through so much and really lived it up in my colorful youth, I want to be a good role model for my girls now that I'm a mother. Someday, I want them to be proud of the woman I am now and when they're old enough to actually be embarassable in school, I still want them to be able to say, "Yep, that's my Mom!"; my wild child youth included in that statement of pride.

So without further ado, please visit and leave some love at Living Lusciousness.

The Luscious Dare

So in the middle of setting up the foundations for a business, homemaker duties, motherhood and surviving the day, I have officially kicked off the journey to a luscious me.

On September 29, 2010 I weighed 179 lbs. at 5'1.

I have lost 30 lbs. by December 9, 2010. Yup, the power of affirmative thinking and claiming your future breeds positive action and results.

10 weeks. Lose 3 lbs a week.

Hoo-rah.

COCREATIONS



Sunsilk Co-Creations Hairfall Solution
Enriched with Soya Vitamin Complex
Co-created with Dr. Francesca Fusco
SRP: P89.00/200mL bottle

 This is the shampoo I'm using right now.

Sunsilk Co-creations, enriched with Soya Vitamin Complex to nourish and reinforce hair from the roots to the tips, it gently cleanses weakened, easily-broken hair without harming my scalp. Sunsilk teamed up with world-class dermatologist Dr. Francesca Fusco from NYC to come up with this formulation.

She believes that the delicate scalp should be treated as an extension of the skin on your face. For her, a woman's hair is truly her "crowning glory" and is dedicated to giving every girl the best head start possible to getting glorious hair through scalp care. “The secret to addressing hair fall,” shares Fusco, “is nourishing that first inch of hair that emerges from the scalp.”

Now why am I blogging about this?

I love my hair.

I love my long, curly, unruly, glorious, layered, colored hair.

And I'm a losing it.

I didn't use to even like it in my painful high school years when I was still searching for acceptance. I had naturally curly waves that were as awkward as the ugly duckling's feathers were. As a result, I kept it short as was the fad but hated that it made me look so unfeminine. Upon entering college, I finally decided to throw all caution to the wind and let my hair down, so to speak.

Growing out my hair was the most liberating experience I ever had among all the liberating experinces of college life. I layered it, colored it, moussed it but I never really got into the fad about straightening as I loved being unique in a sea of rebonded hair. I got it into my system that I wanted to refer to my full head of hair as "tresses" and "locks". I would have been in absolute hair nirvana if it were really thicker though. That's my only peeve.

When I gave birth to Oona, my hair started falling out big time. At first it was just when I brushed or ran my hand though my hair. Then I woke up to find my hair all over the pillows and falling by themselves as I walked. After the natural shedding that came after pregnancy, it never got any better. It got even worse when Olly came so I had no choice but to cut my hair really short for the very first time in 26 years. Yes, I had boy-short hair when I was around 5 years old.

Well, I can't say I don't like my hair now, but I'm not crazy about it either. Given that I'm as round as a dumpling, without my long hair, I look even rounder. Haha. I felt like a goddess with my long hair but with my short hair, I feel anything but pixieish.

No other help for it but for the body to catch up with the hair (read: lose the excess inches so the body can match the hair). Wrong "full-bodied" reference! :P

Meanwhile I would have to take extra care of the precious few I have so the search began for good hair care products THAT WOULD NOT EAT INTO MY BUDGET. Yes, all caps. I'm a mom so splurging on myself will be accompanied by days of shopper's guilt over what could have been used to buy my child's milk or diapers.

I used to buy this really great homemade purple hair soap and gugo/kalamansi extract shampoo that was mild on my hair and scalp. But I can't find it anymore *sob!* Other popular brands only gave me dandruff, scalp irritations and brittle, dry hair.

Then, like a bolt from the blue, the universe sent me a surprise package! Quite literally. My mom told me that a package arrived for me and that it was quite heavy. When we opened it (Oona buzzing around me in excitement over the "Supise, Mommy! Sur-pise!"), I was laughing so much because I saw that it was enough shampoo to last the entire household for months! And there was one type for everyone! Oona designated herself the "Official Arranger On The Shelf Of Shampoos" and Olly pounced on the bag so I appropriated it for her toys. :D

Meanwhile, the other shampoos went to the following:



ANTI-DANDRUFF

 ANTI-DANDRUFF for Daddy. He uses hair putty a lot so hair product + sweat + skin cells = build-up. Enriched with ZPT Citrus Complex, it thoroughly cleanses and refreshes while purifying the scalp from the first wash and protect the hair’s natural condition from dryness. Formulated by Dr. Francesca Fusco again :D I so love her now.

STRONG
AND LONG

STRONG AND LONG for my sister Diday. A student with a very active life since she works too, hair can get really stressed from all the commuting and stuff she puts on it. Enriched with Active Fruitamin Complex, the rich moisture formula gently cleanses and refreshes hair, while penetrating it and fortifying hair fibers so it becomes up to 10x stronger*+ and 3x smoother+ with boosted shine. Sunsilk teamed up with Paris-born Teddy Charles, creator of some of the world’s latest runway and premier fashion magazine looks, to co-create Sunsilk’s most advanced Strong & Long formulation for strong* and smoother hair. Well, she *does* look like a model, anyway. Or maybe it's just our genes! (Nuksnumuuuun! :D)



SOFT
AND SMOOTH

 SOFT AND SMOOTH for my Mom and Dad. Enriched with Ceramide Macadamia Complex, it gently cleanses and conditions even the driest and roughest hair, while acting as a softening agent to rebalance hair condition. Sunsilk teamed up with Bobsoho Salon, founded by Thomas Taw, famous for resuscitating dry hair, to co-create Sunsilk’s most advanced Soft&Smooth formulation for hair that is silky soft to the touch.

We still have the rest of the line to try out:

STRAIGHT
AND SWAY

STRAIGHT AND SWAY enriched with Amino Collagen Complex, it cleanses your straight hair and gently relaxes your hair bonds, providing softness and suppleness to give natural movement ++ to your artificially straightened hair. Sunsilk teamed up with Paris-born Teddy Charles, creator of the world’s latest runway and premier fashion magazine looks, to co-create Sunsilk’s most advanced Straight and Flowing formulation for ideally straighter hair full of natural movement.

DAMAGE REPAIR

DAMAGE REPAIR enriched with Olive Serum Nutri Complex, it gently cleanses and gives care to the most damaged hair, while reconstructing beneath the hair surface and filling damaged cracks deep inside – layer by layer, strand by strand. Sunsilk teamed up with Bobsoho Salon of London, founded by Thomas Taw, famous for resuscitating damaged hair, to co-create Sunsilk’s most advanced Damage Repair formulation to give back extreme smoothness and health to your damaged hair.

SMOOTH AND
MANAGEABLE

SMOOTH AND MANAGEABLE, enriched with Keratin Yogurt Nutri-Complex, it gently cleanses and coats hair strands to smoothen fluffy hair. Sunsilk teamed up with Yuko Yamashita from Japan, creator of YUKO Hair Straightening, turning hair from unruly to manageable, to co-create Sunsilk’s most advanced Smooth and Manageable formulation for extraordinarily smoother++ hair that stays beautifully in place all day long.

We also got Cream Silk Conditioners! Yay!

I can't wait til my hair grows long again! With the care I'm getting from what I'm using right now, I'm pretty sure, I'll have a full head of gorgeous hair again!
Now which ones are you going to try out for your crowning glory? :D
 

MILK ALERT!

This is one of the reasons why I am so thankful Oona was breastfed during her infancy and how I'm hoping I can still continue being her milkmaid. Right now, Oona is mixed-fed, leaning more towards formula (SAAAAAAD MOMMY LAYA!) and solid food. I'm nearly dry now, but for 6 months she was exclusively getting her food from me.

One thing I truly regret now from being a working mom, was that my milk supply began to suffer because I couldn't feed her on demand. Back then I had a stressful job that had me in the office during the day and well into the night. Sure I pumped like mad and made sure my Medela PISO (Hehehe! No pun intended!) paid for itself, but not having Oona around to encourage the let-down made all the difference. So my milk went down eventually, that at eight months, she was having more and more formula because I couldn't keep up. By ten months, when I finally resigned from work, my milk was truly down since she also ate more solid food as well. I felt worse because just when I could be with Oona all day to respond to her needs, I had less milk to give her and she needed less as well.

At thirteen months, Oona still turns to me for comfort feeding at night. For me, it's an affirmation that we still share that bond and I treasure it more than ever! She still wouldn't accept a bottle from me and would only consent to my giving her formula when she's really hungry. Yes she's used to accepting a bottle from her Dad, her Grandma or her Nanny Rina, but not really from Mommy. I'm glad she expects me to satisfy her need for sustenance and comfort, but it breaks my heart not to be able to give her as much as her little tummy needs now.

Her pediatrician recommended Nan HA1 when she started formula feeding. According to my research, NAN H.A. (Hypoallergenic) with Protect Start^TM/ /Protect Plus^TM has added probiotics ("good" bacteria) that helps create protective intestinal flora like breastfed infants have. It promotes gastrointestinal health, helps reduce the incidence of diarrhea and has easily digestible proteins that helps reduce the risk of allergies. So far Oona liked it and has been on Nan ever since.

She then graduated to Nan HA2 which for awhile concerned us because we couldn't find it in Waltermart where we shopped. It turned out that they just changed the HA to HW, but it's still the same banana. It's getting harder to find though since the demand's high and we have to go all the way to SM Supermarket just to find Nan HW 3, which she's on now because she's past 1 year old.

The growing unavailability got me alarmed too, especially since China's milk crisis. I had to go online to check if Nestle was affected. I know Switzerland is far from China, but who knows how far these things go, right?

Apparently, all milk that was manufactured anywhere else except China is safe. Nan HA 1 and 2 are from Switzerland and Nan HW 1 and 2 are from Germany and they have passed safety and hygiene tests. Other milk manufactured here in the Philippines are also safe like those from Mead Johnson, Wyeth and Abbott and no raw material for these products come from China.

At least, knowing Oona's safe has given me room to breathe a sigh of relief. For now. That is, who's to say it can't happen again? If not the chemical scandal that China's facing now, what about another form of contamination? There are periodic recalls, protests, boycotts and the like all across the baby milk brands. From metal particles to dioxin, packaging problems to chemical imbalances in the formulation, making baby milk is very sensitive business.

It's not just China who has a problem. Nobody's really safe and I may just be a paranoid mother here, but I'm scared because this is my child we're talking about. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I was primarily scared for everyone, but having your own child makes you a little bit selfish that way. I wouldn't want to be the mother of one of those kids who developed kidney failure and died or is now seriously sick and hospitalized from melamine in a brand I trusted. My guilt would be too great, eating me alive.

My child trusts me to make decisions for her well-being and health. She trusts me to raise her as a healthy, human being. And because of that trust, she will take what I give her. I fear the day then that through this trust, that nobody should ever violate (especially me, her parent), she would be taken ill or die. I feel for those mothers and fathers, it is not their fault and should never have been their burden in the first place. They could never have known that the trust they gave their brand would be violated, in effect violating the pact they had with their children. I can only barely imagine their pain, anguish and rage.

Yes, now I truly wish I could produce milk again for Oona, if only to beat a scare I never thought of. Breastmilk is truly the best food for our babies. It's pure, unadulterated, and perfect . . . just as Mother Nature intended specially for us. But if we can't and need something more for our children, may we be saved from the heartache China's parents are experiencing now.

Love Makes The World Go 'Round

Mec tagged me with this blog award.

Behind the award, is a wonderful story of love and survival of a little boy given another chance to live through a heart donor.

Please help raise awareness for Organ Donorship in the Philippines and abroad.

I am tagging the following people and giving them this award for being great Moms, Dads and Human Beings: Pheng, Den, Jonas, John and Johnny.

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 6

Keeping The Bean

“It’s going to be okay.” The doctor said as she patted my hand. “Just keep on drinking the medicine and taking it easy, alright?”

I just nodded and thanked her as Mr. F helped me out the door. I wanted to escape so badly but needed to keep as much dignity I could muster.

Can you imagine how it’s like to swing from ecstasy to utter despair in the space of a few minutes? I could be schizoid for all I know, but given the circumstances, I would have a legitimate excuse. I now felt like a baseball bat walloped the back of my head, my throat was too tight, and my heart was too big for my chest.

It amazed me how these doctors could take on that kind of responsibility. They literally have their patients’ lives in their hands. They could make or break a person with a few words.

How do they handle it, facing mortality every day?

I think Mr. F and I just went on home afterwards. It was exhausting: exhilaration and the dregs in one unbeatable combination. We just ate something to dull the headachy feeling and talked.

We knew we wanted to keep the Beanie Baby, as the sprout was now called. I’ve stopped smoking (cold turkey since the day before), stopped drinking (last drop of alcohol was the week before), and we agreed that I’d have to stop the helter-skelter pace of my work life.

Curled up on our comforter, we cover random stuff, basically musing about how we would be parents. I wondered which of us would be the disciplinarian and the devil’s advocate. Of course, Mr. F claims to be the spoiler.

“You would be the Supreme Court. I’ll be the Court of Appeals!”

I scoffed at Mr. F. Right. Like that’s going to happen.

Nevertheless, we still felt depressed about the news the doctor gave us.

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 3

Open Wide and Say Cheese!

“So, let’s validate those pink lines with an ultrasound” Dra. O said after the cursory questions (and thankfully no IE!).

“Let’s see if your guess is right on the money.”

So with that, off we went with another nurse to what would technically be our little sprout’s first picture.

Of course, I thought it was going to be something like on TV. They put you up on a bed, paint your tummy with some kind of gel and use a contraption on you that look like a roll-on deodorant.

While that DOES happen, it turns out that I’d have to be a couple months pregnant-er to be able to use that particular gizmo (transabdominal ultrasound).

So what I’d get? A Transvaginal Ultrasound. Yep, right up my yahoo.

If anyone hasn’t seen a Transvaginal Ultrasound thingie, all I can tell you is that you had better be nice to everyone in the clinic…especially the nurse in the Ultrasound room. The thing looks like the prototype for a Jedi light saber. It’s a little short so maybe it’s for a tiny Jedi Master (Yoda, maybe?).

Sooo...the thing is put in a disposable condom and lathered with KY jelly. I was told to relax and breathe deep and YAHOOOOO. Needless to say I wasn’t relaxed.

“Ma’m relax.” The technician said. “This is going to be more uncomfortable for you since I have to move it around.”

“You have to what!?”

“I have to get a picture of your ovaries and your fallopian tubes.”

I felt like a popsicle. Cold, exposed and stuck on a stick.

Then, it happens. No preambles, no drumrolls, no heraldic blast of trumpets to announce The Moment.

“Ma’m? Sir? There it is.”

Right on the monitor…our sprout.

The shape of a kidney bean. A little circle in it. A little pulse in the middle of the stillness. I wanted to touch the screen. I looked over at Mr. F and there he was, no longer smiling, but I could see this moment would be something we would both remember for as long as we lived.

No shit.

Remembering it, I still get teary-eyed.

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 2

The OB-Gyne Lottery

So I loosened my death grip on the lounge chair and went inside.

“Dra. O will be with you shortly” the nice nurse said with a warm smile as led us into a little office.

It was definitely quiet in the little office with fresh pastels all around. Since it was a little bit cozy, I felt myself begin to relax.

“See? It’s not that bad, right?” said Mr. F.

I managed a smile. Yeah, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Wow! Pastels really do calm you down! I could feel myself actually loosening up.

I couldn’t care less if we got an old prude. We can always change doctors and never come back here again. Maybe a motherly type would be nice. You know, to take us by the hand and guide us through our impending parenthood?

The knob turns and in walks…a young girl. Who let the interns in!?

“Good morning! I see you’re here because you suspect you’re pregnant?” she smiles and looks up from my patient profile on her clip board.

Good God! Not only was this OB young, she looked exactly like one of my aunts! I can almost see her running straight to my mom to tell her about the nitty-gritty of my inner plumbing as soon as we’re out the door.

Shock must have registered on my face because Mr. F elbowed me into closing my mouth.

“I’m sorry. You look so young and you look like my aunt! I’m seriously weirded out” I say.

*Elbows*

“Sorry!”

The young doctor laughs with my aunt’s laugh (déjà vu) and say she’s pretty sure we’re not related.

Turns out she’s had a few years worth of live babies under her belt, a couple of hospitals residencies, and a big boy of her own.

Besides, she said, virtually her entire family was in medicine. Her father is also an OB, having delivered her kid (his grandson) via cesarean, her oldest brother is in general surgery; her other brother is in neonatal care and pediatrics, and their youngest brother ended up in pharmaceuticals (you know…just for a change of pace).

“So what does your husband practice?” we asked in awe.

“Ooh! I met him on a blind date!” She laughed.

“He’s in construction. So different, no?”

Mr. F and I couldn’t agree more.

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 1

Modesty Aside

The day after finding out I was pregnant found a blissed out Mr. F with me in tow at the local family clinic to have myself checked out.

It was pretty much standard: vital stats, BP, weight check (so that’s where all the donuts went!), and the numerous forms to be filled while waiting for the OB to see us next. I know the nurses have been probably been through this hundreds of times being in the biz and all but I still felt ridiculously shy. Even if I had been reading up a bit on what to expect on my first Pre-natal visit, it was hella different being actually here.

“Babe, just the fact that we’re here announces to the general public that we’re most likely having sex” said Mr. F ever so succinctly.

I guess that’s why they put you through the nurses first, so by the time you get to the doctor, your modesty’s been shell-shocked to oblivion.

I’ve never been truly modest but surprisingly, I still managed to blush when asked about my LMP (Last Menstrual Period) to determine when I possibly conceived. I honestly couldn’t say when we “planted the seed” so we just hazarded an educated guess.

What was really worrying me however was that I’ve never revealed so much about my personal hygiene to just anyone!

I couldn’t even imagine talking about my sex life with own mother much less reveal details to someone I just met. I also had issues about possibly being “felt up” by a perfect stranger. I wasn't kinky that way and from what I heard about IEs (Internal Exam), I just knew I wasn’t going to like it.

We’ve never met the OB on duty at the clinic either so for all I knew we could be getting a prudish old geezer we might shock to death if we ever even mention the word “sex”.

I was working myself up into a real basket of nerves.

By the time they called us in, I had decided to just wait outside and let Mr. F find out what was what. He would’ve done it too if not for one tiny little detail.

I was the one who had the ovaries and the womb.

In The Pink

At 17, I had my life all planned out.

Work hard, party harder, and retire to a little cottage on the beach.

I’ll be everyone's favorite grand-aunt; the eccentric old lady who cooks with her own herbs, the one with all the stories, and drinking wine like it was water. I’ll have a merry, rollicking love life and be the living muse of rock stars, painters and poets.

All shall love me and despair!

Ten years later, I’m dry-heaving into a toilet bowl. Not quite the picture I saw in my head. The toilet bowl was a familiar sight on Saturday mornings after a Friday night’s drunken debauchery. Things were different this time though as beside me was the number-cruncher I married two years ago and I was dry heaving for an entirely different reason aside from too much alcohol.

At least I suspected as much.

Mr. F, my beloved number-cruncher, excitedly whips out a candy pink box and presents it to me. If only it did contain candy.

"It’s a pregnancy kit!” F said as he was opening the box.

“Why wait for a clinic check up when we can find out now?"

How he managed to get a hold of a home pregnancy kit at six in the morning is beyond me.

"Aren’t you excited!? ComeoncomeoncomeOON!”

A pee drop later found Mr. F and I staring in fascination at the two tiny windows that were about to change our lives forever.

“Pink line! PINK LINE, BABE!”

“That’s a fiber, hon” a bit unsurely.

Another minute passes.

“That’s definitely a pink line babe.”

“Yeah but there should be a line in both windows.”

“There’s another forming now.”

“The pee hasn’t gone that far yet!”

As I watched the moisture creep up the pregnancy strip I was suddenly struck with how surreal all this was. Shouldn’t I be excited? What if I am pregnant? Do I want to be pregnant? Why wouldn’t I want to be? What was one supposed to feel in these kinds of situation?

A litany of thoughts started crowding my already throbbing head and, in spite of myself, the suspense was killing me. I plop on the living room couch while Mr. F stays in the bathroom waiting for the result.

Three minutes passes. Total silence.

“So are we or are we not, hon?”

He comes out of the bathroom, holding the thing. He looks at me without saying a word. His face just about breaks my heart. I knew right then he was going to start tearing up, my big softie. I run up to give him a big hug.

“It’s okay, honey, we can try again. My period might just be around the corner. We’ve had a stressful holiday season that’s why my cycle’s all messed up.”

*sniff*…mumble.

“Please don’t be sad, hon!”

More mumbles. I squeeze him tighter, letting him know how much I love him and thinking he’s going to be a great dad someday.

“You’re cutting off my air, babe…and we’re pregnant.”