Sanity Blogging

In between snorting down food like a vacuum cleaner, sprinting to the bathroom for personal necessities whenever the kids permit, attempting to sidestep parenting pitfalls with raising the toddler and being the infant's chew toy, I somehow manage to blog.

How the hell does one fit blogging among all the million other things already crammed into the day?

I have NO frikkin' idea.

All I know is, if I can update my stat messages, I can probably blog. I realized I've been micro-blogging at plurk and facebook anyway, so might as well REAALLY blog, right?

Besides, if I don't create some quiet space for myself, I *will* go nuts. I mean, I love being a SAHM but when you begin spending the day in pajamas, smell like stale milk (and don't even know it), tune out when the kids do a hyperactive chorus and you can't wait until the sweet little things are knocked out for the day, IT IS TIME FOR A BREAK.

It can really get overwhelming. With all the love in the world alive in your heart, you will still have days when you just want to scream. Or not talk at all. Silence can be so precious when you have a toddler who has just realized the wonder of words and how to generate an endless stream of questions.

Blogging makes one feel connected to the self, like you can hear your own thoughts again. You somehow feel connected to other people too when someone comments and shares sentiments with you, albeit online. It's also a fine substitute to talking to yourself if you're hankering for adult company. At least with blogging, nobody's going to think you're cuckoo because you're pretending to talk to someone at an attempt at adult conversation. So, I blog.

But if you find yourself hearing voices or your babies begin sounding like Stewie to you, GET HELP. Lolz.

I do envy the super moms who can breeze through the day without a crease, frown or wrinkle on perfect faces, dresses or figures (nor a prescription for sedative of choice). While I'm lucky enough to have my family around me to help and I married a man who's brave enough to face laundry, I still wish there were more hours in the day AND there was two of me. AT LEAST two, with an option for a third clone. Someone please tell me the perfect home maker does not exist without a battalion of nannies, secretaries, aides and maids!

If budget permits, my conviction says I would hire a maid as support staff, but not a nanny. I still feel that my kids are mine to raise, fuss over, yell at and with.

Anyhoo...

So. How sane are you today?

I'm A Believer

The wonderful people of Nuffnang and Yehey! invited me and other moms to participate in the Bedtime Discoveries of J&J. For the first few events, I was sadly unable to go as I was 1. Near my due date! 2. In labor, and 3. Recovering! Lolz :D How incredible was that? I heard it was really fun and the events were a success.

Fortunately, I was able to catch the very last event celebrating the value of good sleep in babies' growth and development. I was able to see some of my friends, make new ones and feel assured that I AM on the right track concerning the steps I take to ensure my girls get a good night's rest.

Mommy Leirs, whom I haven't seen for over a year!

Pretty Mommy Erlyn and Mommy Leirs!

Doting Mommy Josephine with a sleepy Olly :D

Oops! Someone took Mommy Erlyn's pic and the flash was too bright!
Olly's thought bubble seems to be, "Whut?"

I was able to bring Olly while Oona and Daddy dropped by Lola's for a quick visit. As you can see, Olly was  sleepy for her mid-morning nap but because it was a bit noisy at Aquaknox (yummy vietnamese food!!!), she couldn't settle down. She was sleepy but it was also very exciting for her. She kept looking around, smiling and cooing at everyone who talked to her. Lolz! My baby's first event! :D

The complete Bedtime line!
We got the Bedtime bath, lotion and powder :) Yay!
I wasn't able to take a pic of my swag though as I had my hands full with Olly :D

I was also very happy when J&J thoughtfully gave us Bedtime Gift Packs with the bath, powder and lotion so we can put into practice what we learned about establishing routines for our babies to wind down for sleep. During nighttime sleep is when our bodies regenerate, heal and in our babies' new bodies, develop  (There was a very lovely, durable bag too, waterproofed with purple plastic inside so it's perfect to hold baby stuff!)

I've always been a J&J baby so now that I have kids of my own, I use J&J on them too. Of course there wasn't a Bedtime line in my infancy but the principle of touch therapy and bedtime routines have been part of the family tradition for as long as I can remember. It's reassuring and refreshing to know that tradition is fully supported by science and modern studies. What makes this routine even more special is the influence of aromatherapy in the formulation of this line. Lavender does have a calming property and its essential oil is good for the skin. Perfect for babies, toddlers and me too! :)

Go to http://www.babycenter.com.ph/bedtime, people! Find out more about what good sleep can do for your kids. Check if you're already doing it! :)

IT'S AWESOME TO BE ALIVE!

So it HAS been a long long LONG time since i've really blogged. Now that oona's a blur of activities and well-spring of questions, and olly's becoming quite the crawler, it's a wonder i can still think straight, let alone write! I'm guessing i do need this outlet to feel like i haven't totally given up my brain cells to the evolution of the species.

Anyhoo, spring cleaning through my drafts, i came across this entry from last year :) it's unfinished so i'll just fill you all in about what happened later on in succeeding posts :)

***
7 july 2009

This month saw us incredibly busy. I could only check emails, plurk and facebook occasionally. Now that my hubby and our energizer bunny of an offspring is on their weekly visit to Lola Mamang, I have finally the time to sit and blog.

It used to be that blogging is the past time/hobby, but I find that it serves me pretty much like reading or my journal writing when pen and ink were the norm. I only wish I could have my own little laptop so I can do the writing under some trees like I used to. Oh well, for now I'm stuck in front of a computer surrounded by wires and airconditioned - er, air.

So anyway, updates! I've been a busy little mommy this past few and I'm happy with the way everything's turned out. Exhausting as this past month has been, I can say that fixing up the family house and having our own room has truly been worth the sweat and late nights.

On to the family report! :)

I. Oona

My Oonapotpot has been an intense bundle of development this past month. She's developed a YouTube ABC binge quite suddenly and can more or less "sing" with you by now. I usually let her watch Sesame Street, Nursery Rhymes or whatever hits her fancy on YouTube while I work on another window. Then one day she just kept asking for the ABC song over and over again! "'Sa pa! 'Sa pa!" It didn't matter if different artists sang it or there were different renditions and accompanying visuals, she wanted it. We actually came across a frog saying the alphabet in french. Curious, I let it play on and was amazed when Oona listened and repeated the letters after the frog did! French! Well, phonetically it's almost the same but still, I was so proud of her. :) Even before going to sleep she's added the ABC song to her sleepy time repertoire along with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, I Have Two Hands and Eensy Weensy Spider.

Another time, she somehow figured out that batteries make some of her toys run and to open the panel, a screw driver is needed. She asked me to open one toy and while I was absentmindedly trying to open it with my nail, she disappears and pops up later, handing me a screwdriver! I didn't even know she was aware of the tool and its use, let alone where to get it! I was just so amazed, I couldn't stop praising her! I even plurked it, proud momma that I was!

We've lately moved her to her own cot, just right next to our bed. She's shown an awareness of having her own space so I took it as a cue that it was time to introduce her to the concept of her own sleeping area. So far, we haven't had any problems or tantrums about it. Of course it helps that the change is gradual since we're just right there next to her since our beds are on the floor, within cuddling distance. I know it sounds like there isn't any difference, but trust me, there is! She knows where she's supposed to be and where Mommy and Daddy are. But sometimes, especially on early mornings, she groggily rolls over from her side to our side. She would crawl over me to squeeze between me and Daddy for a longer, snugglier snooze. She is still our baby after all! :D

II. Dos

With that in mind, we had another motive for starting Oona on her own bed. Like I said, I've been a very busy Mommy and in more ways than one! Apparently, the healthy diet at my mother's house and the exercising I'm doing has done more than enough for my body. I lost weight!!! YEY! I can fit in my regular jeans (not my fat pants) and my corsets again! And I can keep up with Oona's running. YAY! :D AAAAAnnnnd...I am officially a few weeks preggo.

SURPRISE!!! :):):)

We weren't expecting another baby so soon! I mean, we've been talking about giving Oona a baby brother or sister and what it would feel like to have a son or another daughter. We just didn't think the stars would align, my body would permit and nature would grant us another baby at this time. It's just too mind-blowing! I can't stop smiling :D

My only pseudo-regret is that I haven't had the chance to make good my promise that I'd wear a bikini for summer! Now, just when I've begun to lose the flab, I'm going to be wearing a lot more flabby, flappy parts in about a few months time. *SIGH* I'll be a human balloon again.

On the upside, I've been wondering how it would feel to have a baby move inside me again. What new discoveries would this lead me to? Would the experience be the same as the first time? Would this be harder or easier? What would i crave now?

***
Now fast forward to about a year later! What a time capsule! :)

POVERTY USED AND ABUSED

It's Blog Action Against Poverty Day, and it's brought to mind so many things. Central to these thoughts would be how poverty seems to be the most used and abused condition.

Behind every campaign, crime and policy, on either side of law and morality, poverty is the ready answer, reason and rationale. And who are its greatest victims? Children. Always the children.

Sad.

***

Can anyone really tell me what poverty truly is? Or where it comes from?

Is poverty solely a lack of material comfort? Or is it a lack of spiritual wealth manifesting as a lack of the material kind?

There are a lot of philosophical and metaphysical discussions all over the internet regarding "How To Increase Your Abundance", "Be Open to More Money" or "Be a Millionaire While Being A Couch Potato". It's pointless to tackle them one by one because whatever they're selling boils down to us (people who want more abundance) buying their program and making them more, well, abundant. You have to admire these people, seizing an opportunity to provide people for a means to reach their dreams of gold. So they make gold!

I get spam mail like that and as always, there's a catch. Fool's gold for the naive, incredibly stupid or incredibly greedy.

There's also that South African/Arabian/Singaporean/Alien Banker/expat/businessman/wife of dead politician who would email you about millions in US Dollars or Pounds that has to be transferred and can they please use your account? Of course you have to provide your personal info and bank account numbers. And YOU shell out fees.

Whatever. Scam central, hello?!

Internet sweepstakes also lure people into buying entries with the promise of sure winnings. But the only thing you'll win in the end is a huge credit card bill. It's true all over the world, in whatever way, the house always wins.

***

There are so many ways people all over the world invest in exploiting our common concepts of poverty. In or out of the net.

For me, I am not afraid of being scammed via internet. I'm not stupid, naive or greedy enough to bite into promises that sound too good to be true. Nothing is taken away from me.

I am afraid of poverty, however, when I step out of my house.

I see beggars everywhere. With children. Some look like they haven't eaten in days, some have a blank stare and some don't look like their beggar parents at all. They're either too beautiful or too different.

All in all, those faces, those eyes haunt me.

I know, because I've heard stories and watch the news. Children disappear everyday and babies are stolen from parents, caretakers and their own homes. They are never seen again, bought and sold like meat into gangs, syndicates or slave rings.

Sometimes, very rarely compared to those who are never heard of, there is the odd survivor who is meant to be found to give a call for action against this particular problem. These survivors are found in other far-flung cities, maimed, starved, beaten and abused, enslaved by criminal syndicates to pose as beggars' children to increase chances of larger alms. By some incredible blessing, they are found and restored, but not without having sustained injury and often permanent physical damage. Some have been found crippled or blinded by their captors. What more can we say about their mental, psychological and emotional health? Who can say that the only injuries they have are what we have seen? What about those who have no words for the horrors they have endured?

I fear poverty whenever I walk out of the house. I fear that its fingers will reach up and curl around my own child's leg and yank her out of my life. I fear that this little ray of sunshine would be taken from me, her mother, to line some dirty bastard's pockets. Bad things happen to good people. I know things happen for a reason, but my heart refuses to stop fearing.

Where do people get off doing this? Is there no conscience left in their souls?

This knowledge also conflicts me.

I want to help these beggars but giving alms only seem to aggravate the mendicancy problem. I want to help them maybe get a good dinner at night, but don't want to perpetuate the grim cycle. Or maybe they're really hard up and they have valid reasons, being victims of circumstance, to be standing at the corner begging for mercy, but how can we really know? How do we tell the really needy from the ones who are just exploiting poverty as we know it?

And I'm a mother. How can I resist another mother asking for help for her child? How can I risk shaming her in front of her little one by denying her? But what if she's in on exploiting the child? Do I want to be party to that?

I am scared of poverty, more so because I am scared of what kind of person it is driving me to be.

I'm not particularly well-off and we do try to make ends meet. But there will always be something to spare for those who need it. After all, RF and I always say that we'll give what we can spare for someone who needs it more than us. But, that doesn't include beggars.

We've come to the agreement that though it may be heart-breaking, it's best to give them food or clothing even. Rather than money, you wouldn't be sure would really be going to see to their own comforts.

Sometimes, I am ashamed to say that I try to ignore them. I am angry at how they make me feel. At how they make me slide my eyes away from where they stand, refusing to meet their eyes. I'm even angrier at the well-dressed people with clean, well-dressed children in tow, who pose as lost travellers who found themselves short of fare to go home. The people who use these children's plight try to take advantage of the guilt and conscience of other honest, tenderhearted, unaware people. Then you see them the next day somewhere else, saying the same lines. How can we be angels of mercy and charity when what we are up against is a great poverty of the soul? I am ashamed of my anger and angry at the shame.

I know the answer would usually be as long as you give out of the goodness of your heart, it doesn't matter where your money is taken or if it is used for the intent it was given. But how can you not care? Knowing your money will not be feeding the sad urchin you gave money to, but lining some fat syndicate's pocket DOES bother me no end.

I am scared of poverty and how it has become a monster to be reckoned with. It seems to me to be a huge, smelly, lazy giant with many dirty, hollow-eyed grim children at its beck and call. And how capable it is of turning me, us, you, into monsters as well.

I don't know what can be done to stop it and stop it good, never to rear its ugly head again. I don't know how we can reach out to each child in the arms of a pretender to give them back to their heart-broken parents. I don't know how to reach those who truly need help and rescue and separate them from the scammers and the thieves.

All I know is, I want this never to touch my child.

***

What really is poverty? Where does it come from? Where will it end?

Is it poverty that drives us to deplete our stores of humanity and decency? Or is it a lack of goodness in many souls that enables poverty to manifest on our material plane in such soulless proportions?

FOR BREASTFEEDING PARENTS, THE WATERBIRTH-CURIOUS AND OTHER ADVOCATES OF NATURAL FAMILY LIVING

Parents! I got forwarded this email. :)


For moms out there who breastfeed and would like to breastfeed their child without having to leave work. Do pass on to those who can benefit from it especially now that (melamine tainted!) formula milk is replacing the best milk for babies..

• BREASTFEEDING IN THE WORKPLACE
  
  Being (and Keeping!) a Productive Employee Who Raise Healthy Children
  
  Breastfeeding is a rewarding and nurturing experience for both working mother and child. Learn how you can continue breastfeeding even after you go back to work.
  
  Get helpful tips on how to sustain your supply of breast milk before you are tempted to buy a can of formula milk out of desperation.
  
  Find out how employers can support productive employees who desire to raise healthy children through breastfeeding.
  
  Get it straight from VELVET ESCARIO ROXAS, Deputy Executive Director of Arugaan – an NGO that is a staunch advocate of breastfeeding and earth-friendly and indigenous diet for children.
  
  
  
  
  OCTOBER 18, 2008
  9 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
  The Kolisko School for Steiner Education
  10 Alabama Street , Brgy. Kristong Hari, New Manila , Quezon City
  
  Php 250 donation entitles you to a seat.
  
  Fifteen (15) slots only!
  
  Please reserve a seat before October 18.
  
  Contact 0906-3034065, savechildhoodnow@gmail.com
  
  
  
  About VELVET ESCARIO ROXAS
  Wife of Jonathan Adam Roxas, head of TATAY - a father support group especially for breastfeeding
  
  Mother of Jehielle, 6 years old, Bahay-Bahayan at The Kolisko School, breastfed for 3 years and 2 months.
  
  Mother of Voegelle, 15 months old, currently breastfeeding. Her waterbirth is a Philippine Medical pioneer - the first ever recorded hospital-based waterbirth in the Philippines !
  
  
  High School Mathematics Teacher
  Philippine School for Innovative Studies
  Malingap corner Malumanay St. ,
  Teachers Vill. West, Diliman, Quezon City
  
  
  Deputy Executive Director, Arugaan
  April 2003-Present
  #2 Starlight cor. Vista St., SSS Village, Marikina City
  Email: arugaan@mozcom. com Tel: +632-4905452
  
  • Counsels mothers on good infant and young child feeding practices
  • Teaches proper breastfeeding techniques to other mothers and other health practitioners including doctors, nurses, midwives, etc.
  • Co-authored the book “Let’s Eat, Learn and Play”
  • Creates crèche/daycare for babies and toddlers
  (home-based, community-based and in workplaces)
  • Instrumental in organizing the “First International Workshop on Indigenous Foods for Complementary Feeding” of 13 countries in Southeast Asia held in Bangkok, Thailand
  • Organized 1,000 women and youth leaders as breastfeeding counselors and defenders held in Quezon City Hall
  • Team leader and team member in coordinating and organizing different events (trainings, seminars and workshops) supported by different organizations including WHO (World Health Organization) , UNICEF (United Nations Children's Fund), DOH (Dept. of Health), WABA (World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action), IBFAN (International Baby Food Action Network), Plan International Inc., etc.
  • Trains, presents and lectures for different national and international trainings, seminars and workshops
  
  
  WORKSHOPS AND SEMINARS
  
  Lecturer/Trainor/ Presentor:
  
  • Asia Pacific Conference on Breastfeeding
  November 30 - Dececember 3, 2003
  New Delhi, India
  
  • First International Workshop on Indigenous Foods for Complementary Feeding
  June 2004
  Bangkok, Thailand
  
  • Every Mother is a Working Mother
  August 14, 2004
  St. Luke’s Hospital, Quezon City
  
  • Lifeskills Training for Brgy. Health Workers and Day Care Workers
  January 30 – February 1, 2006
  Llorente, Eastern Samar
  September 2005
  Lilo-an, Leyte
  
  • Women in Media’s “Bulong Pulungan”: Pushing Up Breastfeeding as a Culture for Moms
  August 2007
  Sofitel Philippine Plaza, Pasay City
  
  • The First Father Support Summit
  October 2007
  UP Diliman, Quezon City
  
  • Breastfeeding at the Heart of Waterbirthing
  November 2007
  AMA School of Medicine, Antipolo
  
  • Waterbirthing for City Health Workers
  Feb. 2008
  Maasin City, Southern Leyte
  
  
  
  UPCOMING PUBLIC EDUCATION LECTURES at The Kolisko School :
  
  BIODYNAMIC COMPOSTING
  By Greg Kitma
  President, Philippine Biodynamic Agricultural Research Foundation
  
  OCTOBER 26, 2008 (Sunday)
  7 a.m.-2 p.m.
  Malvar, Batangas
  
  Php 750/adult, Php 350/child
  
  Contact BABA ALBERTO 0921-2234844
  
  
  SOURCES of STRENGTH: Exercises that Nurture the Soul
  
  Speech and the Developing Child
  
  The HEALING ART of HANDWORK:
  Creating a Stuffed Animal
  Crocheting for Kids and Adults
  Raise Nature-loving Kids in the Time of TV and Gadgets
  Effects of Electronic Media on Young Children
  
  COOKING for LIFE:
  Homemade Juice from Indigenous Fruits
  Budget-friendly Ways of Raising Healthy Families in the time of Junk Food
  Education That Promotes Social Transformation
  Teaching Math through Art, Movement and Music
  
  HAMOG/MORNING DEW: Harnessing the Power of Nature to Improve Health Sing a Song to Promote Social Health
  The Big C: Social and Spiritual Dynamics of Cancer
  Unclutter Your Home, Mind and Heart
  How to Start Saving for a Baby
  Household Rules for Working Parents
  Multiple Intelligences: Unfolding Your Child’s Specific Intelligence at the Right Time
  
  
  CONTACT: savechildhoodnow@gmail.com for more information.
  
  http://koliskoschool.blogspot.com/
  
  http://www.mb.com.ph/issues/2008/05/26/20080526125524.html
  
  
  
  

WEAR YOUR BABY 5: R'JELLYBEAN RING SLINGS

At last, we arrive at the sling we (or rather I, since RF says he'd still rather carry Oona, aching arms and all) eventually chose.

There were not a lot of this type of sling in the net when I was first looking for one. Sure there was a growing number of it abroad but the merchandise hadn't reached local department stores yet. At the Newlyweds@Work message boards (offshoot of Yahoo groups Weddings@Work), I chanced on asking about baby slings and learned that members Jen and Ella had developed a product that was both functional AND stylish as well!

At first, stores around the metro had trouble keeping up with stocks as soon as these slings hit the local shelves. As they were just starting, supplies would run short and the more popular designs would get sold out. They were really so in demand and still are! I have had growing R'Jellybean sightings ever since last year when I grew aware of their existence. As a N@Wie, I was able to get in touch with Jen and was delighted to see new designs they were developing. She kindly offered me a sling from her own stock, but before I could take her up on it, we were able to snag one at SM Makati. It wasn't any of the posh designs and colors I wanted (saaad) but it was better than brown, the only other one left. Not that the brown wasn't nice, it was just that I'm not a brown person. Oona can wear brown, she's got that type of coloring and skin that makes brown rich. But on me, brown is too dark. So I got the stripey one in light orange, pink, white and dark, muted green. What I liked about it, more than the colors, was the textile used. It looked durable, felt durable and I knew this to be the type of fabric that was breathable as well.

Of course, it's one of those purchases that I was afraid would prove an unnecessary expense. Times are hard nowadays and I am guilty of being a closet shopaholic. However, it has managed to impress even my own husband who's often leery of my purchases (for purely practical reasons). I am proud to say that it's one of the BEST investments we've - - - er, I've made.

Next 9's R'Jellybean Ring Slings! It's proudly Filipina-made! WOOT!


Durable, stylish and very versatile. Quite close to the malongs and indigineous fabrics of my heart and culture! The designers even included an instructional video with every purchase to help you get the knack of wearing it and using different carrying styles.

With Oona getting to be more mobile, I thought she wouldn't be up to being hoisted around anymore. But, I was wrong! Oona still loves it at 14 months. She's already walking around and very very bibo. But I find that she still loves being cuddled and close to me when we're out. She's very quiet and relaxed, watching the world pass us both in the nested security of the sling and in my arms. She falls asleep faster, longer and better, even if it's a noisy environment when I'm out on an errand with her.

Everywhere I go, people stop and stare. Some are curious about the sling and ask if it's really safe. Yes, it is! The cloth is very durable, the stitches are very strong and the rings don't slip or snap.

Some ask if it's complicated to put on or if it's expensive. I always point them in the direction of the nearest department store in the vicinity and explain that it's very user-friendly and cost-efficient. I point out that RF and I barely use a stroller nowadays and can even go without it (on hindsight) as babies are better raised being close-carried by their parents in the spirit of attachment parenting. I can use the sling from infancy to toddlerhood since it's adjustable and breathable for the tropics.

Most importantly, I can use both hands when I'm slinging Oona, therefore making it easier for me to include her in more activities wherein I would normally have to put her down. The sense of belonging and involvement is priceless, as well as developing the child's natural awareness of her environment.

It also doesn't aggravate my sciatica. Prolonged lifting of course, still gives me a heckuva back ache but I can sling Oona for extended periods of time and not be debilitated for the next week as I used to be with the strappy carriers. I guess it's because when you use this type of sling, even with the wrap around Mei Tais, your center of gravity and balance doesn't have to shift that dramatically. You carry the weight closer to your body rather than away (which puts unnecessary strain and tension on your whole frame to compensate for the shifted center of gravity). To keep yourself from falling over with the weight of the baby (in a frontal carry) and the carrier's placement on your body as dictated by the straps (that really doesn't conform to your body's contours and needs) you put undue pressure on your spine and general back area. You can't even adjust the carrier to a more comfortable position.

Let's not forget that the strappy frontal kinds are hell on milk-engorged breasts, not to mention that it's harder to respond to the baby with all the snaps and straps restricting access. With the sling, it was easier to breastfeed Oona. I just sit, snuggle her closer and lift my shirt. So eazsyyyy! We even had the bonus of the loose fabric to double as a modesty cover of sorts when in a public place. I also use the loose fabric to shield Oona from sudden onslaughts of the wild weather we seem to be having, all the while running for cover.


I can't rave enough about ring-slinging and R'Jellybean. Even RF and my MIL agree that apart from being unique and back-to-the-roots, it's really very practical. Old school does it best...with modern improvements of course! I even got RF to use it every now and then, although he still prefers to carry Oona around minus the aid.

It's different for everyone, I guess. For me, this is true love. I'm already looking forward to using this again with our next little one. Or more likely, I'll be buying another one to use because Oona might still be "baby" enough to want to be carried with her stripey ring sling, that RF and I would have to wear one baby apiece! :D

Up next: Interview with Next9's Dynamic Ring Sling Duo: Jen Tan and Ella Ampongan!

WEAR YOUR BABY 5: RING SLINGS

This appealed to me most! From the ever-reliable Wikipedia:

"Ring Slings

These are baby carriers that use dynamic tension, a length of cloth and metal (such as aluminum) or nylon rings. One end of the cloth is sewn to two rings. The cloth wraps around the wearer's body from shoulder to opposite hip and back up to the shoulder, and the end is threaded through the rings to create a buckle effect. The baby sits or lies in the resulting pocket. Once a sling is threaded, it can be taken off and put back on without rethreading. A threaded sling forms a loop of cloth. The wearer can put one arm and the head through the loop of cloth to put the sling back on.

When the baby is in the carrier, the baby's weight puts tension on the fabric, and the combination of fabric tension, friction of fabric surfaces against each other and the rings combine to "lock" the sling in position. This type of sling can adjust to different wearers' sizes and accommodate different wearing positions easily: the wearer supports the baby's weight with one hand and uses the other hand to pull more fabric through the rings to tighten or loosen the sling. There are 6 basic wearing positions that are most commonly used, namely Reclining Cradle Hold, Cradle Hold, Snuggle Hold, Kangaroo Hold, Hip Carry and Piggy Back. The Cradle Holds are most useful for discreet breastfeeding."

Reclining Cradle Hold using Ring Sling	Cradle Hold using Ring Sling	Snuggle Hold using Ring Sling	Kangaroo Hold using Ring Sling
Hip Carry using Ring Sling	Piggy Back using Ring Sling

Ring slings may be padded or unpadded at the shoulder, have padded or unpadded edges or "rails", and the "tail" of the sling may be open or closed. Some "hybrid" ring slings have curved seats sewn into the body, similar to the seam in a pouch. Ring slings are most closely related in use to the Mexican rebozo, the rings take the place of the knot.

Whether a user will prefer a padded or unpadded sling, closed tail or open tail, simple or hybrid body is highly individual and often simply a matter of taste. Ring slings are available in a variety of fabrics ranging from lightweight cotton calicos to silk brocade. Tencel, linen, hemp and rayon have also been used. Most common are homespun fabrics, lightweight twills, dupioni silk, and other fabrics with good tensile strength and a fair amount of diagonal "give". The rings may be nylon, aluminum, steel or other materials, but it is important that any materials used be of sufficient strength and that multiple layers of stitching be used to connect rings to fabric, as several recalls of ring slings have been caused by faulty rings (welds breaking) or stitching (insufficient stitching such that if a thread broke, there was no redundancy). Most rings used by manufacturers are either designed specifically for baby carriers, designed for high-tension situations like marine rigging or for securing heavy livestock. Lightweight craft rings should not be used. Fabrics which cannot safely hold a seam without fraying or tearing should not be used. Excessively slippery fabrics should be avoided.

Another significant point of variation is found in how the rings attach to the cloth, commonly referred to as "shoulder style". Basic shoulder styles include gathered, pleated, "hot dog" or "center fold", pouch-style (folded in half) and many variations. Which is more comfortable for a given user may depend on body shape (whether the user has rounded or square shoulders), sling fabric (some fabrics will only be comfortable with padding, others work better in a gathered, unpadded style) and user preference for a wider or narrower spread.

Ring slings can be used from birth through toddlerhood, but many parents find that heavier, non-mobile babies are easier to carry in a two-shouldered carrier such as a wrap or mei tai (see below) when carrying will be extended. However, for short-term use, or for toddlers and mobile babies who want to be picked up and set back down often, ring slings can be ideal. Ring slings are also considered very good for breastfeeding, their adjustability allows them to be lengthened to allow easy access to the breast, and they can then be re-adjusted quickly when nursing is done. Ring slings are often the carriers of choice in the first months of life, when babies are small and nurse frequently."

Sounds good!

Next: Our choice!

WEAR YOUR BABY 4: BABY SLINGS

What to wear?

Being from a culture that is still exposed to baby-carrying using cloth slings, I was wondering if I could just use a traditional malong or similar piece of cloth the way some indigenous tribes still do. It was a short jump from using a blanket to secure her to us.

The malong garment is a woven length of fabric sewn together at the sides to make a wide, tubular garment. It can be worn any number of ways, has many varied uses and comes in a variety of colors and designs. Coming from parts down the southern Philippines, it is the multi-purpose garment one traditionally has from birth to death. It is similar to many other multi-functional clothing pieces (sari, sarong) around Asia.

I hunted for the malong I had when I was a kid but I remembered that it already became so threadbare as to be almost transparent. So no go. It might disintegrate, if it hasn't already.

<--- Maranao Dance to show the versatility of the Malong. Here, the Badjao girl demonstrates how the tubular cloth is transformed into a baby carrier.

Then looking in the department stores and checking out the price and make of today's malong, I am sad to say that not only are they more expensive, but they aren't made like they used to. I seem to remember that they were a lot thicker and sturdier back in the day. I would have to go to my father's home town to get one I could trust to carry Oona around.

Fortunately I didn't have to go on a long trip. I was browsing through the web and came upon different modern baby slings. Some had rings while some are tied up, but all very versatile and durable!

Modern Baby Slings

I chanced on The Baby Wearer site and checked out different styles and reliable suppliers. It made it easier to decide on what seems to be right for me, Oona and RF.

They're very reliable when it comes to carrier type comparisons, taking into consideration the products' suitability for newborns or older babies, durability, strength of the fabrics, breastfeeding-friendliness (the word!), adjustability, learnability (for us parents who are all thumbs!) and comfort.

So far, our choices were looking good. Now, I couldn't decide what to pick as they all appealed to me and the kind of lifestyle I wanted Oona to have: mobile but still developing close to us (I'm sounding like a parent!!!).

This one is by Sleepy Wrap. Yes it's an American company but with online shopping these days and overseas delivery, all you need to worry about is whether they ship to our country (they do via UPS) or if you have a credit card to make the purchase.

I love this because it seems to be so soft and comfy for both
Moms and babies. It looks to be very versatile, easily transformable into different wearing styles and very secure. I'm sure the babies are snug enough to fall asleep easily or observe the world from the safety of Mommy or Daddy!

I'm just afraid it might get too hot to wear for us in a tropical country. The loops and knots seem to be a bit complicated to me, however I'm sure once anybody gets the hang of it, it's going to be a lot easier.

I fell in love with this one though.

Isn't it so sweet?

It's the Peanut Shell by Goo-ga Style Inc. As with all parenting-friendly products, this was developed by working parents who still wanted to take an active role in raising their baby, then called "Peanut".

I imagine it to be comfy, easy to wear and snug for Oona!

Try as I might though, I couldn't find a local supplier then and it wasn't as if I could spend all my time trying to track down one pronto! I still can't find one but I don't really need it now. I already found a good match, but I'll tell you about it later!

I saw this one by Infantino but it was only perfect for newborns. It does look like a large shoulder bag, then Surprise! Inside, there's a strapped-in baby! It's really cute but for me, it's a luxury I couldn't afford. Sure it looks so cool, but after a few months, I wouldn't be able to use it anymore. Oona would be far too active to stay prone. She'd want in on the action outside her cute little bag and I'd be scared to death she'd pop out!

I know it's safe and all, but I was looking for something that would last far longer than a few months and would be able to "grow" with Oona.

Other slings and pouches I really liked:

The Mei Tai - based on Chinese Baby Carriers!

Combination Hip Sling and Mei Tai: The Mei Hip by Ellaroo

Next: Baby Ring Sling!

WEAR YOUR BABY 3: BABY CARRIERS

BABY CARRIERS

The best example of a baby carrier with a frame would be the American Indian papoose. It has a frame, straps and paddings.

Whenever we'd go malling, we tried using a similar, modern carrier and pouch. An inherited pouch was big and I personally felt it was too stuffy for Oona.

It isn't as comfy as a papoose would be. I was afraid she'd get crushed or something. Of course though I know it might be safe and even comfy for her, I'm a new mom and I'd rather err on the side of caution.

We were able to use this carrier when Oona was older but the straps, buckles and clasps were so fussy to put on that either she or RF would start getting cranky and we'd end up leaving the contraption at home.

We also felt that the paddings and the cloth was way too thick and hot for Oona. On a nice, cool day, we'd find her fussy in the carrier because she would be all sweaty. We were concerned she'd get sick and/or develop rashes so that plan went out the window quick.

We tried using this again now that Oona's bigger, but the straps and the general placement of the whole thing on me wreaks havoc on my sciatica and balance. Not to mention that it's still too fussy to put on.

We found another papoose-like pouch in the supermarket.

Honestly, we weren't supposed to get another one because RF was swearing off pouches as an un-needed expense and carrying Oona made less of a hassle than putting on a carrier.

On the other hand, RF was also starting to feel Oona's weight cramping his arms. I saw it was lighter and cheaper than the pouches we saw in the department store so I just snuck it into the grocery budget. If it didn't work, it wouldn't be too much of an expense. Amazingly, it was sturdy and both father and daughter seemed to like it!

The down-side to it was that it only came in one size and the straps couldn't fit me. So boo! for that. At least, Oona was more comfortable in this one than the first carrier.

It was sadly fast outgrown. But since it didn't cost an arm and a leg, we didn't have much regrets. We also felt that it was well used. After a few months, the snaps and the straps were getting to be too tight on Oona and kept popping open. This time, I was afraid that Oona might suddenly wiggle free or slip through the pouch onto the supermarket floor. I wasn't keen on proving that she was a bouncy baby girl that way.

So the hunt for a "perfect" baby carrier began.

Next: Baby Slings

WEAR YOUR BABY 2: A HISTORY OF CUDDLING

Baby wearing has been around since women figured out that they can multi-task. (I say this as a woman explaining to the men out there reading this.) Think about it. We needed to tend to the fire, wash clothes in the river around the corner (turn left at the two big trees), prepare and cook the game our cavemen brought us, and who knows what other chores our ancestresses had? Later on, we needed to tend to the fields and herds. All the while, we couldn't leave our young all alone to fend for themselves while we did what we had to do. Besides, baby formula hadn't been invented yet. So, being the enterprising creatures we are, we had no other alternative but to bring our babies along and invent something that would enable us to use our hands but keep the baby close to us.


Today's population can credit the endurance of the species to ancestors who worked at survival with their babies strapped to their bodies. All over the world, evidence of baby wearing can be found among people as far removed culturally and geographically from each other. Among the top examples would be the Egyptians, the American Indians, the Chinese and other Asian tribes. Now, a growing number of people are beginning to largely practice it again, with a few modern day improvements.




Local History

From the mountain tribes to the low-land ricebowls and the sea-dwelling fisher-folk of my country, baby wearing is a deeply ingrained part of our heritage. I only regret that I can find few pictures to better show it, but our children have been raised as close to the bosom as possible.

Historically, this is largely by necessity as parents work hard for the family's daily bread or tend to other familial chores themselves and there are no nannies. Sure there are other relatives the children can be left with but babies are generally never far from their mothers, especially when they are not weaned from their mothers' breast yet.

Nowadays of course, there is a decline (compared to the numbers back in the day) in baby-wearing with the advent of nannies and other care-giving amenities (the bassinet, the breast pump, the baby formula, etc.). Parents can work while not worrying about whether their baby has enough milk at home.

However, my present culture is still not that far in time from the old days. Westernization did not happen for my country until just recently (if you can call a few hundred years "recent"). And with the West's dawning consciousness of natural family living, of which attachment parenting is a part, it just seems right that I would look to affirming my child-rearing inheritance. (Naks!)

Next: WEAR YOUR BABY 3: Baby Carriers

WEAR YOUR BABY!

I know it sounds like I'm talking about a fashion accessory. But really, when we're talking about attachment parenting, wearing your baby is a part of it . . . and why shouldn't be tradition be fashionable?

The Why!

I wanted to have a baby carrier early on because I wanted to be as mobile as I could be. I was also still feeling weak and afraid I might drop Oona with the exhaustion I was feeling from too little sleep and general fatigue. However, I wanted to keep carrying Oona around while I was doing stuff around the house or if I was going out to the grocery. I wanted to be as close as possible to Oona with my hands free.

We also noticed that Oona seemed to be less fussy, nods off quicker and sleeps better whenever she was carried. We know it's because the rhythm of walking around mimics the motion she was used to in the womb and the heartbeat, no matter how faint, is a comfort. There's also the warmth and feeling of security she gets whenever she's close to us. And for RF and me, there's that warm fuzzy feeling of being able to provide for that kind of well-being.

Another cause for concern for me was that I felt that my hips and my back weren't like what they used to be. It was only later on that I found out that I had a mild form of sciatica from my pregnancy. Bending over to pick her up or carrying her would sometimes cause me to have stabbing pains that I was afraid I would drop her one day. I would feel like I was locked in place by the pain.

My center of gravity wasn't totally restored either so I was always off-balanced. With my hands free and Oona strapped securely to me, I would be able to better maneuver in case I should fall. That was what I was thinking then, but god forbid should that have ever happened and I fell on Oona instead!!! Que horror! (This is why most of the pictures are of RF wearing Oona more than me!)

The Make-shift Sling

What also worked for us when Oona wasn't sleeping through the night yet (and wanted to be held ALL NIGHT or be as close as possible to me or RF) was we'd swaddle her and wrap her securely to our chest with a thin blanket. We were wearing her to sleep, so to speak.

I wasn't afraid I'd roll over her or suffocate her. I was virtually bolted in place by the pillows all around me and the weight of the baby on my chest. She woke up periodically to nurse and her movements would immediately wake me up. I'd then loosen the blanket-wrap, give her a feed and put her up on my chest again for her to burp and go back to sleep.

For RF, coming from night shift, it was also to ensure he didn't drop her while spending quality time with her before nodding off for his own dose of the Zzz's. He'd be so tired that he would fall asleep in the middle of a lullaby he was signing. I'd find them sleeping together this way, surrounded by pillows and I wouldn't have any space left. I'd sleep on the bottom half of the bed or in the couch on the living room. Good thing we invested in comfortable furnishings!

Oona also seemed to have less reflux and wasn't colicky at all. She slept longer and woke up a nicer baby. She used to wake up with a vengeance when she sensed she was not wedged or warm enough to indicate a human body was right next to her.

We weren't confident to try the make-shift blanket wrap outside the bed of course. We weren't playing with a doll!

Next: WEAR YOUR BABY 2: HISTORY

THE FIRST NINE MONTHS: THINKING ABOUT PARENTHOOD

RF and I didn't plan on becoming a couple. Nor did we plan to become parents. We wanted to have children but were unsure as to if and when we'll actually have them. I was more unsure than RF but towards the end of our first year of marriage, I was already thinking about it. We weren't using protection or any method to avoid pregnancy, but we weren't really going for gold.

I found myself looking at my tummy in the mirror sometimes. I was thinking how my belly, full with child, would look like. Of course, later on I would be sadly disappointed and would shy away from pregnant belly portraits that's still all the rage today because I just looked like a very fat woman who waddled like a very fat duck. But I wouldn't know that then!

I was fantasizing about what I would wear, recalling how my mom would look in her nice, long shifts. Nevermind later that I couldn't possibly wear her old preggy stuff. I was too large and overheated that I wanted shorter, lighter dresses with a bit of cleavage (Ha ha!).

True, fashion concerns are not the meat of it. But everything, no matter how seemingly trivial it is, matters. It contributes about how you feel about the whole thing.

One of the very few things we thought about before we actively tried to have Oona, was if we were ready for parenthood. As individuals, as a couple . . . was our marriage ready to welcome the responsibility and strain of raising another human being?

We had our fights. We had our preferences. We enjoyed our lifestyle. Was our lives big enough to share with someone else?

It does sound selfish, but they're actually realistic and honest questions I felt I had to answer. I wanted the chances of regret anytime in the future to be significantly small. Whether I wanted to or not, I didn't want our future child/children to consciously or subconsciously feel in any way that I blamed their birth for anything I might miss out on.

Exploring my feelings, I knew my life would change profoundly after having a child. I knew there were a lot of things I wouldn't be able to do anymore and a lot of things that would remain dreams. I would give up things, miss out on things and maybe regret things.

What about my career? I felt like a hotshot, with the world at my feet. I had so many dreams, plans . . . isn't motherhood going to stifle me? Wouldn't it hold me back? I run with the wolves, outstripping bulls and facing down everyday mayhem. I loved that life! What would happen to me when I suddenly stopped?

I felt a part of me would die but I had to face and deal with it, lay it to rest for my child's and my sanity's sake. I've read far too many disgruntled mother/housewife stories to want that for myself. Although I have no illusions about the future, even then, I would make damn sure I don't end up unhappy at the very least.

Me, as mother, being unhappy would affect how I would be as a Mom and a wife. I don't want my kids to hate me or wish for a different mother. Which begs the question, what kind of mother would I make? I've heard too many stories of horrible mothers too. What if I wasn't meant to be a mother? I really didn't want to find out when I already had a child that I would be unable to care for and love! Needless to say, I had a lot of angsts.

RF was a lot easier. He swanned gracefully, almost without effort, into the role of Dad. I would say Fatherhood becomes him . . . even the impending Fatherhood gave him an extra Oomph!

We talked about how our plans for the future would change, little knowing that talk barely just covers the possibilities, but it greatly helps.

At least, we nailed down the basics:
1. We love each other no matter what.
2. We're in it together.
3. We'll do our very best, always to the best of our abilities.

There would be less dates, unplanned trips, splurges or even drastic career shifts. Everything would be revolving around the welfare of the child and family, more than the pleasures we used to fantasize about. Very practical, very discipline life, very safe and I feared, very dead-end for me.

Then one night, I was home alone as usual, RF being on his night shift. I realized that despite all this worrying, I was really giving the baby and motherhood matter serious thinking. I wasn't shying away from it at all. For me that was an indication that I cared about the life we were bringing into the family. Family! We were going to be a family, our OWN little fan's club! Terribly exclusive.

I laughed, then I cried. I suddenly felt that I wanted it to be real at that very moment. Did this mean that I was ready? Hahaha. Right. Knowing what I know now, nobody's ever ready for motherhood. I also still believe that there are people who can't be parents but now I know, I'm not one of them.

What I realized then was that my heart felt so full of love and the cup that RF and I share, doth runneth over. (Ugh! Cheeeeeese!!!) There's really so much love to give and it's such a shame to waste on what now look like trivial pursuits that wouldn't make a difference a hundred years from now.

***

A part of me did die, but it was a welcome death. What mattered to me was that I found that a whole new part of me sprung up to live. Being a mother had its own adventures and did I really mind giving up late nights, hungover-sick mornings and going home to an empty house?

There are a myriad ways to fulfill oneself. I still don't know how my life would find expression aside from being wife and mother, but I'm not afraid to find out. I'm actually excited.

But above all else, pouring the love RF and I share to this amazing little girl is all that truly matters to us.