UPDATES OF A YEAR LATER

rf's girls

This is us now.

Oona, our firecracker, the livewire, our chatterbox of a little girl. She's so excited with everything. Stricken with acute bronchitis early January 2010, she was so dehydrated that she couldn't make a sound for about a week. When she recovered, it was as if all the words she ever heard in the few years she spent on earth were bursting out of her mouth even if she still couldn't say them all properly.

i love chips mom.

She often gets frustrated that she can't be understood or express the burgeoning feelings and thoughts filling her ever growing heart and mind. She's so much a little girl, a big baby and a wise sentient being all rolled into one huggable bundle. I sometimes have difficulty remembering she's a child whenever something amazingly profound or unexpected comes out of her mouth. She jumps, she sings, she dances and has two imaginary friends, Mort (or is it Mork?) and Kays she talks to on any phone. She is also now fully toilet trained. Just like that, in diapers one day, in ruffled panties the next. Sure she had a few accidents and we carried diapers for a few days (still do for long trips and no-available-toilet emergencies), but it wasn't months or years of bed-wetting et al.

She's very protective of her little sister Olly whom she calls her baby. I can only hope and pray that they become each other's best friend when they grow up. Knowing that they look out for each other is enough for me and I can die in peace.

I feel GOOD!
tananananananaaaa!!!

Olivia Eleanor was born one fine night, 1042pm on February 19, 2010 at 40 weeks. I was induced as the OB didn't want to risk Olly going past her due date. With my epidural fix, I wasn't  in terrible pain and everything went well. RF was able to join me after a minor delay at the nurses' station where they were hesitant to take RF's bag and laptop. They finally took it when our anesthesiologist ran out and scolded them for keeping him there while Olly was already crowning for about 5 minutes already! I was on a pause button for five minutes waiting for him while he argued outside the DR.

mommy's three babies!

Anyhoo, Olly came out, beautiful baby! with nary a hitch. After two hours, that's when I started bleeding a lot. I felt like I was dumped into a vat of ice! I was breastfeeding Olly in the recovery room when I felt like the worst  hangover ever. I was so thirsty, my mouth was so dry but I felt leaden and my limbs were blocks of ice. I told the nurse to get Olly, check my bleeding and that I'm about to pass out (which I promptly did)...Next thing I knew I was swimming in and out of consciousness, faces and voices floated around me and the ceiling lights kept changing. It turned out that I had what a uterine atony where the uterus could not contract and therefore could not stop pouring blood long enough for clotting to happen. I had to be reexamined and cleaned out to rule out a hysterectomy, bags of blood and plasma were transfused and family were called to be informed of how near I was to critical level. From a hypertensive 150-130/80 BP range, I had plunged to 90/50.

All that time I just kept praying that I live through it, intact, whole and still capable of at least one more child. I still wanted to give RF a son, give the world a chance to have another gentleman out there. The worst case scenario was the hysterectomy (the uterus would be taken out) and I did not want that. However, as the doctors said, it's your uterus or your life. Life, of course (but can I have my uterus too, pretty please?).

Anyhoo, it was all uphill from there. I recovered and my uterus is still here. RF and I agreed that we would wait a few years before having a third child. We want to focus on these two first, give my body a chance to heal and yes, our finances to stabilize a bit before welcoming another angel into our family.

It's been a riotous year. All in all, so much the rollercoaster ride. I have yet to experience uninterrupted sleep, a steady diet and more peaceful, quiet "me" times. RF and I have no date nights and a rare five minute shower all by myself still feels like a luxury.

But looking at these kids makes it all worth it. Oh so very much worth it all.

FOR BREASTFEEDING PARENTS, THE WATERBIRTH-CURIOUS AND OTHER ADVOCATES OF NATURAL FAMILY LIVING

Parents! I got forwarded this email. :)


For moms out there who breastfeed and would like to breastfeed their child without having to leave work. Do pass on to those who can benefit from it especially now that (melamine tainted!) formula milk is replacing the best milk for babies..

• BREASTFEEDING IN THE WORKPLACE
  
  Being (and Keeping!) a Productive Employee Who Raise Healthy Children
  
  Breastfeeding is a rewarding and nurturing experience for both working mother and child. Learn how you can continue breastfeeding even after you go back to work.
  
  Get helpful tips on how to sustain your supply of breast milk before you are tempted to buy a can of formula milk out of desperation.
  
  Find out how employers can support productive employees who desire to raise healthy children through breastfeeding.
  
  Get it straight from VELVET ESCARIO ROXAS, Deputy Executive Director of Arugaan – an NGO that is a staunch advocate of breastfeeding and earth-friendly and indigenous diet for children.
  
  
  
  
  OCTOBER 18, 2008
  9 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
  The Kolisko School for Steiner Education
  10 Alabama Street , Brgy. Kristong Hari, New Manila , Quezon City
  
  Php 250 donation entitles you to a seat.
  
  Fifteen (15) slots only!
  
  Please reserve a seat before October 18.
  
  Contact 0906-3034065, savechildhoodnow@gmail.com
  
  
  
  About VELVET ESCARIO ROXAS
  Wife of Jonathan Adam Roxas, head of TATAY - a father support group especially for breastfeeding
  
  Mother of Jehielle, 6 years old, Bahay-Bahayan at The Kolisko School, breastfed for 3 years and 2 months.
  
  Mother of Voegelle, 15 months old, currently breastfeeding. Her waterbirth is a Philippine Medical pioneer - the first ever recorded hospital-based waterbirth in the Philippines !
  
  
  High School Mathematics Teacher
  Philippine School for Innovative Studies
  Malingap corner Malumanay St. ,
  Teachers Vill. West, Diliman, Quezon City
  
  
  Deputy Executive Director, Arugaan
  April 2003-Present
  #2 Starlight cor. Vista St., SSS Village, Marikina City
  Email: arugaan@mozcom. com Tel: +632-4905452
  
  • Counsels mothers on good infant and young child feeding practices
  • Teaches proper breastfeeding techniques to other mothers and other health practitioners including doctors, nurses, midwives, etc.
  • Co-authored the book “Let’s Eat, Learn and Play”
  • Creates crèche/daycare for babies and toddlers
  (home-based, community-based and in workplaces)
  • Instrumental in organizing the “First International Workshop on Indigenous Foods for Complementary Feeding” of 13 countries in Southeast Asia held in Bangkok, Thailand
  • Organized 1,000 women and youth leaders as breastfeeding counselors and defenders held in Quezon City Hall
  • Team leader and team member in coordinating and organizing different events (trainings, seminars and workshops) supported by different organizations including WHO (World Health Organization) , UNICEF (United Nations Children's Fund), DOH (Dept. of Health), WABA (World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action), IBFAN (International Baby Food Action Network), Plan International Inc., etc.
  • Trains, presents and lectures for different national and international trainings, seminars and workshops
  
  
  WORKSHOPS AND SEMINARS
  
  Lecturer/Trainor/ Presentor:
  
  • Asia Pacific Conference on Breastfeeding
  November 30 - Dececember 3, 2003
  New Delhi, India
  
  • First International Workshop on Indigenous Foods for Complementary Feeding
  June 2004
  Bangkok, Thailand
  
  • Every Mother is a Working Mother
  August 14, 2004
  St. Luke’s Hospital, Quezon City
  
  • Lifeskills Training for Brgy. Health Workers and Day Care Workers
  January 30 – February 1, 2006
  Llorente, Eastern Samar
  September 2005
  Lilo-an, Leyte
  
  • Women in Media’s “Bulong Pulungan”: Pushing Up Breastfeeding as a Culture for Moms
  August 2007
  Sofitel Philippine Plaza, Pasay City
  
  • The First Father Support Summit
  October 2007
  UP Diliman, Quezon City
  
  • Breastfeeding at the Heart of Waterbirthing
  November 2007
  AMA School of Medicine, Antipolo
  
  • Waterbirthing for City Health Workers
  Feb. 2008
  Maasin City, Southern Leyte
  
  
  
  UPCOMING PUBLIC EDUCATION LECTURES at The Kolisko School :
  
  BIODYNAMIC COMPOSTING
  By Greg Kitma
  President, Philippine Biodynamic Agricultural Research Foundation
  
  OCTOBER 26, 2008 (Sunday)
  7 a.m.-2 p.m.
  Malvar, Batangas
  
  Php 750/adult, Php 350/child
  
  Contact BABA ALBERTO 0921-2234844
  
  
  SOURCES of STRENGTH: Exercises that Nurture the Soul
  
  Speech and the Developing Child
  
  The HEALING ART of HANDWORK:
  Creating a Stuffed Animal
  Crocheting for Kids and Adults
  Raise Nature-loving Kids in the Time of TV and Gadgets
  Effects of Electronic Media on Young Children
  
  COOKING for LIFE:
  Homemade Juice from Indigenous Fruits
  Budget-friendly Ways of Raising Healthy Families in the time of Junk Food
  Education That Promotes Social Transformation
  Teaching Math through Art, Movement and Music
  
  HAMOG/MORNING DEW: Harnessing the Power of Nature to Improve Health Sing a Song to Promote Social Health
  The Big C: Social and Spiritual Dynamics of Cancer
  Unclutter Your Home, Mind and Heart
  How to Start Saving for a Baby
  Household Rules for Working Parents
  Multiple Intelligences: Unfolding Your Child’s Specific Intelligence at the Right Time
  
  
  CONTACT: savechildhoodnow@gmail.com for more information.
  
  http://koliskoschool.blogspot.com/
  
  http://www.mb.com.ph/issues/2008/05/26/20080526125524.html
  
  
  
  

KEEPING HUMOR WHILE WAITING TO HATCH: VIDEOS!

While it's a warm fuzzy feeling connecting with your little tenant for 9 months, it can get infinitely boring staring off into space while you're bed-bound.

Here are some video websites I went through while surfing during The Bean/Melon's down-time (when she's not feeling out my kidneys or tracking my intestines).

You Tube ... Search Funny Commercials. Worked for me!
Ask A Ninja ... On days when your hormones are raging, "I look forward to killing you soon!" will become a favorite quote.
Aske A Ninja.com ... In case you want to check out the Ninja Mart Store. Maybe they have "Ninja Uniforms" in baby size.
Moymoy Palaboy ... Too bad I only saw them now. Would've given my happy hormones a boost. I watch them with Oona now. Start 'em young!
Moymoy Palaboy on Bubble Gang ... I can't decide if they're funnier here or during their early days. You guys decide.

WARNING: EXCESSIVE LAUGHTER MAY CAUSE CONTRACTIONS (I'm serious!) ... Yes, I am serious. It does happen. If you're due at this time, keep your celfone charged, loaded with credit and always near you. Put your OB, your hubby and your parents on speed dial, in that order (I'd recommend it!). Breathe deep and don't panic.

THE FIRST NINE MONTHS: THINKING ABOUT PARENTHOOD

RF and I didn't plan on becoming a couple. Nor did we plan to become parents. We wanted to have children but were unsure as to if and when we'll actually have them. I was more unsure than RF but towards the end of our first year of marriage, I was already thinking about it. We weren't using protection or any method to avoid pregnancy, but we weren't really going for gold.

I found myself looking at my tummy in the mirror sometimes. I was thinking how my belly, full with child, would look like. Of course, later on I would be sadly disappointed and would shy away from pregnant belly portraits that's still all the rage today because I just looked like a very fat woman who waddled like a very fat duck. But I wouldn't know that then!

I was fantasizing about what I would wear, recalling how my mom would look in her nice, long shifts. Nevermind later that I couldn't possibly wear her old preggy stuff. I was too large and overheated that I wanted shorter, lighter dresses with a bit of cleavage (Ha ha!).

True, fashion concerns are not the meat of it. But everything, no matter how seemingly trivial it is, matters. It contributes about how you feel about the whole thing.

One of the very few things we thought about before we actively tried to have Oona, was if we were ready for parenthood. As individuals, as a couple . . . was our marriage ready to welcome the responsibility and strain of raising another human being?

We had our fights. We had our preferences. We enjoyed our lifestyle. Was our lives big enough to share with someone else?

It does sound selfish, but they're actually realistic and honest questions I felt I had to answer. I wanted the chances of regret anytime in the future to be significantly small. Whether I wanted to or not, I didn't want our future child/children to consciously or subconsciously feel in any way that I blamed their birth for anything I might miss out on.

Exploring my feelings, I knew my life would change profoundly after having a child. I knew there were a lot of things I wouldn't be able to do anymore and a lot of things that would remain dreams. I would give up things, miss out on things and maybe regret things.

What about my career? I felt like a hotshot, with the world at my feet. I had so many dreams, plans . . . isn't motherhood going to stifle me? Wouldn't it hold me back? I run with the wolves, outstripping bulls and facing down everyday mayhem. I loved that life! What would happen to me when I suddenly stopped?

I felt a part of me would die but I had to face and deal with it, lay it to rest for my child's and my sanity's sake. I've read far too many disgruntled mother/housewife stories to want that for myself. Although I have no illusions about the future, even then, I would make damn sure I don't end up unhappy at the very least.

Me, as mother, being unhappy would affect how I would be as a Mom and a wife. I don't want my kids to hate me or wish for a different mother. Which begs the question, what kind of mother would I make? I've heard too many stories of horrible mothers too. What if I wasn't meant to be a mother? I really didn't want to find out when I already had a child that I would be unable to care for and love! Needless to say, I had a lot of angsts.

RF was a lot easier. He swanned gracefully, almost without effort, into the role of Dad. I would say Fatherhood becomes him . . . even the impending Fatherhood gave him an extra Oomph!

We talked about how our plans for the future would change, little knowing that talk barely just covers the possibilities, but it greatly helps.

At least, we nailed down the basics:
1. We love each other no matter what.
2. We're in it together.
3. We'll do our very best, always to the best of our abilities.

There would be less dates, unplanned trips, splurges or even drastic career shifts. Everything would be revolving around the welfare of the child and family, more than the pleasures we used to fantasize about. Very practical, very discipline life, very safe and I feared, very dead-end for me.

Then one night, I was home alone as usual, RF being on his night shift. I realized that despite all this worrying, I was really giving the baby and motherhood matter serious thinking. I wasn't shying away from it at all. For me that was an indication that I cared about the life we were bringing into the family. Family! We were going to be a family, our OWN little fan's club! Terribly exclusive.

I laughed, then I cried. I suddenly felt that I wanted it to be real at that very moment. Did this mean that I was ready? Hahaha. Right. Knowing what I know now, nobody's ever ready for motherhood. I also still believe that there are people who can't be parents but now I know, I'm not one of them.

What I realized then was that my heart felt so full of love and the cup that RF and I share, doth runneth over. (Ugh! Cheeeeeese!!!) There's really so much love to give and it's such a shame to waste on what now look like trivial pursuits that wouldn't make a difference a hundred years from now.

***

A part of me did die, but it was a welcome death. What mattered to me was that I found that a whole new part of me sprung up to live. Being a mother had its own adventures and did I really mind giving up late nights, hungover-sick mornings and going home to an empty house?

There are a myriad ways to fulfill oneself. I still don't know how my life would find expression aside from being wife and mother, but I'm not afraid to find out. I'm actually excited.

But above all else, pouring the love RF and I share to this amazing little girl is all that truly matters to us.

THE FIRST NINE MONTHS

I was largely uncomfortable when I was pregnant.

AND uncomfortably large. I ballooned to 200 lbs. and the bad part was that I didn't look pregnant. I just looked FAT.

I also felt so over-heated that I needed the air-conditioning on with the electric fan. RF would swear he was in the Arctic Circle, freezing his butt off while I would be complaining that the Gobi Desert was probably cooler than our room at high noon.

I had food cravings, aversions, mood swings and crying bouts. I'd get irritated with RF but didn't want him out of my sight. I cut off my long hair because it was falling off in alarming amounts. Then I regretted it big time. I felt ugly. I waddled. Nothing would fit me.

Hay! That's not even half of it.

Nevertheless, making my pregnancy album took me back to that time and surprisingly made me laugh. Sure there was pain, nausea and Goddess knows what else, but there were pay-offs that continue to this day.

I'll be sharing the album I made as a series with a trimester-ly write up, not only to share what I and RF went through, but also to help others out there who was as clueless as I was.