This Adorable Little Girl

'There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Least of all, be there for her whenever and wherever. It's the smallest I can do for what she's done for me. Having her changed my life so very much, that I can hardly recognize myself. I know I'm not the best person ever nor the most perfect being on earth (and she does deserve the best and most perfect), but I'm working on it. To be the best I can be, to be as close to perfect , as snug a fit to the role of mom as I can be to this little person bursting with possibilities. To be good enough at least, for Her.

So don't feel sorry for me, staying home while the girls paint the town red or the boys take over the world. I'm not afflicted with something to be sad about nor 'saddled' with the responsibility. I didn't give up and neither will I regret getting out of the fast lane. I chose to bring this little girl into the world, the least I can do is slow down enough so we can see the world together.

I know I'm full of unrealized potentials and there are a million possibilities for me. I do miss the rush sometimes. But when I'm playing with her, singing silly songs and making funny faces because she likes them so much, am I really missing anything else of greater significance?

Oh I know some kids grow up to be ungrateful morons (god knows I had my moments) and she might end up hating me someday for some godforsaken reason I would never understand, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. I don't blame having her for the life I chose to lead, that would be unfair to both of us. I find it hateful hearing parents tell their kids that they gave up this and that for them. It burdens the kid with such misplaced guilt. Neither will I beat myself up too much should she and I drift apart. I would be devastated, but none of that guilt for either of us. (God help me.)

The way I figure it, the world won't tilt off its axis while I let others go fight the good fight and I stay home. Plenty of time later. But it's always too soon for her.

Ooooooh!!! Free Frog Pods!

Summer's really here and if it's any measure of how hot it is outside, Oona and I take baths as much as 3x a day now. If we could live in the bathroom, we actually would! That's a thought I've had for a long time now. If it came to bunking down for survival in one room in the house, I'd apocalypse-proof my bathroom.

Anyhoo, a different apocalypse is happening with Oona's daily bathing spree. Since we don't have a kiddie pool, she plays with the gripo, the tabo and the timba. On occasion though, there's the odd plastic toy: a baby minnie mouse floater, a toy car, a screaming pink plastic ball or an empty plastic bottle.

What I find most trying is whenever I have to clean up after. She's not a fussy but the bathroom can be a wet disaster area that I have trouble keeping organized, dry and clean. (Only to repeat the clean-up operations again and again). Everytime nga that we go to the department stores, I always stop by the bathroom section to check out new stuff that would be cute BUT functional. 

A friend of mine, knowing I'm crazy for a good bargain, 

told me about Boon's Summer Promo available at all Rustan's stores nationwide! Whee! I *lurve* promos!!!

So, for a minimum purchase of Php 3,500 worth of any Boon products, we get a helpful bath organizer called the Boon Frog Pod for FREE!  Scoop, Rinse, and Store all your stuff in one go! 

The Frog Pod has a built-in shelf for your baby's bath products. It attaches to virtually any bathroom wall, so set-up is easy. The Frog Pod also has a removable scoop that provides a quick and easy way to pick up bath toys. The holes on the scoop makes it easy to rinse, drain and dry the toys for the next bathing adventure. The Frog Pod's fingers and toes act as hooks for hanging other bath accessories.

Boon Inc. is an incredibly innovative company that combines function with cuteness. Seriously. Kids love their colors and designs and as an adult, I find myself wishing we had these things as kids! I'm just thankful there are things like these because it makes cleaning up fun and interesting for kids. I checked out their website and there's a ladybug version of the Frog Pod, but I have yet to make a beeline for Rustan's to check out what's available for my shopper's itch! I'm sure RF and I would have to restrain ourselves yet again for our cash outlay's sake.

  

Hopefully, there'll still be a froggie friend left for me and Oona this weekend! I'm sure the Frog Pod can even do duty near the pool and on vacation trips. You don't have to pack and repack everything you and your kids need all the time. Just un-attach the Froggie from the wall with all the toys and bathing things attached and pack it, then reattach at your destination! Be careful you don't leave it behind though!  

So, hurry all you mommies and get your own FREE Boon Frog Pod now! Promo is good until April 30, 2009 or until supplies last.  

A Tag and A Quick, Random Update

From Emz! Thanks sis! Now I have to tag ten other bloggers...I'll be updating this as soon as I can.

The Rules:

1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names.
3. Don't forget to leave them comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog (soon).

Meanwhile...

It's 1:23AM and I'm kinda bummed. Oona's asleep, the bottles are sterilized and prepared for tomorrow, house is quiet and I'm bored. This is what I get for napping with Oona earlier. I don't get sleepy enough to go to bed when she does. Friends are asleep and hubby is in Brazil right now, attending to his office duties so I got no one to bug. He called earlier and I can tell he really misses us. We really miss him. Oona takes to asking "Daddy?" every time the front gate chimes ring, when she hears a voice sounding like his or even when she smells cigarette smoke. She even checks the garage if he's just hiding. It breaks my heart to see my little girl missing him even when she doesn't know what she's feeling.

Sure she's still happy and rambunctious but she knows something's missing. Or rather, someone. It's almost a relief to know she's still too young to realize Dad's been gone for about a week now. I don't think I'll be able to take the heartbreak if she cries for him and he can't come to her. I refuse to think what could happen if he doesn't see her for a year. Some kids forget, I know. That makes me think about all the OFWs out there who have kids at home. I know the staying parents do all they can to keep the memory alive with pictures, phone calls and frequent webcam dates. You have to marvel at technology, how it has worked to keep the love alive. For the kids, it's important for them to know that love can reach across space. 

And for us adults, it's even more important to keep the faith that love can survive across the time that stretches between the physical instances of being together. It can get lonely. Like now. Maybe that's why I can't go to sleep. I miss him, I even miss getting cranky and pissed off at him for weird reasons. Maybe that'll teach me not to be so cross and picky with him, after all, he really is malambing and I'm really just a cross, old fart. Or maybe not? 

Hay.

It's just been a week and I probably shouldn't miss him so much. After all, what's our separation compared to people who raise families countries apart?  Sometimes I think I'm just not as strong as other women out there. Other moms hack it on their own, with OFW husbands or as single parents. I know they're able to cope because they have to for their children and their own sanity's sake. My admiration and respect for these women have only steadily increased since I gave birth to Oona. It's incredible how they have managed the intense physical, emotional and mental demands of parenthood by themselves. Along with this, my admiration for mothers (including my own, but don't tell her that or I'll never live it down! :D) has grown tremendously. Just comparing my own experiences to others...it's incredible how mothers make way for their kids and families. Even at the expense of their own plans. 

Well, trading one future for another isn't so bad when you think about what you're getting by way of velcro hugs ("'ag! 'ag!") and sticky kisses. Oh, and when she simultanously calls me and requests to go wherever it is I'm going ("Mamo!"), I could take her to the moon for all it would cost!

Anyway...I was missing RF early this post. Now, I think I'll go upstairs and cuddle up to my sleeping bundle of half his DNA. Maybe I'll only just partly miss him then.

ABC's of Mommyluscious

Thanks to Joanne for this meme! Sorry took so long! :D

A. Attached or single ? — Attached to RF for life!

B. Best friend? — Top two are Rei and Jonas

C. Cake or pie? — Cake on occasions, pie on ordinary comfort food days.

D. Day of choice? — Sunday. Such a lazy day!

E. Essential item? — can't live without my celfone! with a rambunctious child, emergencies happen! 

F. Favorite color? — wine red/burgundy!

G. Gummy bears or worms? — Green and the pale yellow gummy bears 

H. Hometown? — Quezon City

I. Favorite indulgence? — brigitte bardot night! perfume, lingerie and hot scented baths with pasta, wine and chocolate mousse

J. January or July? — January, most definitely!

K. Kids? — One kulit little cutie!

L. Life isn’t complete without? — My family, God's gift to me!

M. Marriage date ? — Sept. 17, 2005

N. Number of magazine subscriptions? — None

O. Orange or apple? — Depends...i like fresh orange juice and apple juice but i dislike peeling the oranges and biting into the apples.

P. Phobias? — i HATE needles.

Q. Quotes? — You only live once!

R. Reasons to smile? — Hubby, family, true friends: Gifts of the Goddess!

S. Season of choice? — Christmas and Summer!

T. Tag 5 people — Rei, Jonas...still thinking!!!

U. Unknown fact about me?— I wanted to be an astronaut.

V. Vegetable ? — Anything that can be put in a salad.

W. Worst habit? — picking at my cuticles til they bleed. it's stress-related.

X. X-ray or ultrasound? — Ultrasound...more interesting. Though X-ray is much less invasive!

Y. Your favorite food(s)? — Cook it, i'll eat it, then I'll decide if i like it! Basta pagkain, madali akong kausap! :D Pero ultra favorite food ko according to my husband is anything with rice! HAHAHAHA!

Z. Zodiac sign — Aquarius! Ang sign na kulang-kulang! 

Living with the In-Laws

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've updated my blog. Or checked my email, for that matter: Inbox Unread 855! Mostly newsletters but the odd email from friends show how behind the times I am (They broke up?!...A few letters later, Oh they're planning the wedding now.) The only reason I'm able to write this and the precious three entries I had posted is, as of writing, 1. It's Sunday. 2. Oona is with hubby and his set of family and 3. I have my parents' computer, and myself, all to myself. For a few hours at least! And then, I'm time-releasing this along with my other posts.

Since end of January, RF, Oona and I have been living at my parents' home. We were living in our own apartment with RF's mom, but we've all since decided to separate households. So now, while we're looking for two new places to live for ourselves and for mom-in-law to move to, we're bunking in with my side of the family. Besides, the one we are currently living in is simply too big to maintain for a small family and our needs are minimal. Oona is growing up so we really have to think of how to streamline our finances to accomodate her future needs. This early I'm already contemplating about where to send her to school and if RF and I can afford to buy a shotgun each for her teen years. 

So while the hunt continues, we are bunking at my parents' house. If we can't find a place for our little trio, we might have to stay here until our Beacon condo unit is completed in a year. However, while I love being with family, and Oona's antics keep my parents young, I really recommend having a place of your own. There are lessons to be learned of course, if you are open to it, while living with your budding family under your parents' roof. But it's always better to have your own space. 

You know what they say: A man's home is his castle. Visiting kings can't be lording it. We're so lucky that neither my father or my hubby have any issues with eachother, but I do know that others are not as blessed. There's the hiya factor for one. Even if my parents already think of RF as their son, there's still the feeling that you can't be as free as you would like to be with your actions than if you're in your own home. It's not bad, you are better behaved than you ever were and when you get used to it, you find yourself a lot more refined than when you let it all hang.

The equivalent for me is that there can't be two queens in one castle. My mother and I may agree on a lot of things now that i'm older and less of a bitchy teenager, but there are still things that we disagree on. Both of us certainly have different ways of doing and seeing things. I understand that better now, after all, it's her house and I would most likely be like that in my own space. Maybe it's easier for me than others because my mom and i are related, so we can tolerate each other's nuances of character. Of course, getting along for two people, related or unrelated, will only be as hard as the concerned parties make it. In the end, what's important is you all try your best to treat everyone with courtesy and respect. 

One more thing, intimacy may be a problem especially if there's not enough room in the house. We don't have our own room right now because my parents tore down the entire third floor where there was space enough for up to three bedrooms. This was back when most of us kids had flown the coop and they needed the space to make a sound proof studio for a children's show they were doing. So now, we're refugees on the 2nd floor, camped out on my parent's room. The guys get the floor mattresses and us girls get the beds. Thank god it's a big room and with the aircon and cable tv, very comfortable! My little sister also sleeps here and any of my brothers whenever they're in town. (Yes, it's a pretty big room.) 

While it's like a big sleepover after lights out with all the yakking and giggling we do in the dark, it can get lonely and I can only hold hands with the hubby on the floor and I'm on the bed next to Oona, in the middle of a gaggle of people. Even if my parents aren't prudes, we're not about to sneak off in dark corners or broom closets for a quickie. I agree it sounds exciting, but there are just some things we're not comfortable with. Maybe being legit makes the adventure aspect fall a little flat? But definitely, being in a house with little privacy left for fooling around puts a kink in our romance (not even the good kinda kink). Well, when I discreetly brought up the subject to discreetly lobby for some space (we'll take the storage room!), my mom said that maybe we just lack creativity. Then to my utmost horror and mortification, she proceeded to enumerate where and when one can be naughty. Before I got seriously disturbed, I was able to change the subject. Whatever the case may be, I still can't openly talk about my sex life with my mother. It's just a wee bit disturbing. 

Distinct advantage though! It's probably the best birth control ever! Not that I don't want any kids after Oona, but I do want a bit of space between them for health and sanity purposes.  

Living with in-laws has let us see household-running with fresh eyes. RF and I have to develop our own way of things, but it clearly has to be between him and me to build the rock-solid foundation for our future to stand on. Meanwhile, we are learning and growing as parents and as life-partners. With or without the extra space. >:) There's always Victoria Court anyway! Beats a dark corner anytime. Hehe.

I got a Sparkly Award!

thanks to janis for this award!

MY TEN RANDOM FACTS

i been parpolised by an award! thanks to tintintetay for this :D

Here are the rules:
- Each blogger must post these rules.
- Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
- Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves.
- You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and also to read your blog.


okay...random facts about me:

1. i used to climb a lot as a kid: trees, walls, rooftops, cabinets, etc. you name it, i've been up on it first and fastest. i taught my brothers to do it and never had a fall. we'd gauge a wall, spotting hand/foot holds and the best route to take to a perch and just launch up. sometimes to get from one place to another, we'd have to climb one end of a wall and balance beam to the other end. nevermind if it was a twelve-foot drop on either side for a scrawny kid. our parents and neighbors gave up on trying to make us stay down and just prayed we never had an accident. my philosophy was, i didn't climb anything i couldn't stay on top of. i hated getting hurt and having to go to the hospital, so that was incentive enough for me to be good at what i did. but sadly, the glory days of height were soon over when my mother figured out she could put us to good use cleaning the rain drains of leaves and overripe fruit that fell from the trees towering above our rooftops. it wasn't so much fun after that. haha.

2. i hate needles. the kind that they stick in you at the hospital. i am deathly afraid of something happening while they stick me with the needles and they rip out my veins. with all due respect to everyone in the medical profession, i am just afraid. i pleaded with the nurses and my doctors to be gentle when i was giving birth and they wer putting on the dextrose. but oh, lucky me...they had to give me shots almost every other hour with different medicines because i was hypertensive, going 180/100. the bad part of it was i've never had so many needles stuck in me in my entire life! i felt like a pincushion! and i hate needles!

3. i can live on books. i can lock myself in my room with books to read and just go out to eat, do my girly business and go back to reading. i can not talk to people for an indefinite period of time as long as i have a good book. yes. i am a bookworm of the worst kind. i was banned from the library as a child for reading too much. they told me to go outside and play. i was like, what? get dirty and scabby while all those books are begging to be read? worlds are waiting to be discovered and explored! and they said yeah, nice try. go play... so i went. and got caught in the cross-fire of a water balloon fight. to think i was wearing my nice pink dress and white stockings. dammet. i went back and got a book and read in a quiet corner of the playground.

4. i played cards for money in college. not all the time, just whenever i'd REALLY need funds (which at least just happened 2-3 times only. damn xeroxed readings!). my luck ran strictly along those lines. whenever i'd run out of money for necessities, i played for the pot. not that we were hard-up, but i made it a point not to be a burden to my parents and go beyond my allowance. however, those readings and research projects really can cost a student a lot, so sometimes, i wouldn't have anything left for lunch or for fare going home. i walked home when i could, but having classes all day would drive me to play so i could have fuel for my brain. i'm not a hot shot player, but my luck would only work when i really needed the money...something along the lines of, when all else fails....and i'd win the pot. i just knew that if i played for profit or pushed the limit of my luck, i'd lose what i won. so i'd always quit while i was ahead. of course my opponents always wanted to win the money back and i'd get a stare down as i beat it out of there. still, they know i never play to rip them off. after all, i'm only following tradition. my dad did it, playing cards and shooting pool for food and fare, and so did my brothers. but always never for profit.

5. i like spaghetti noodles with kare kare and bagoong. nope, don't knock it til you've tried it. it's true pinoy pasta hehe! i first had this while infanticipating with Oona.

6. i am a frustrated violinist and ballet dancer. i can't play the instrument even if my life depended on one silken tone. and i have two left feet plus about a hundred pounds unsuitable for a tutu.

7. i wanted to be a pilot and an astronaut. buuuut i couldn't make the height requirement and all that math gave me vertigo.

8. the first dream i remember is about worms floating in my bedroom. i was about 3 years old at the time, my mom says. squiggly, sesame street worms floated in the dark. i kinda freaked out about it because i knew i was supposed to be asleep and worms didn't do that. let's not ask Freudian dream interpreters what that dream meant.

9. i'm a sucker for road trips. i love travel. if i can travel (in style of course!) for a living with my family in tow, i would! especially the beach. but i love mountains too. i think i'm at my most peaceful when i'm on the road. i'm lucky rf shares my joy of the open road. we try to indulge ourselves whenever time and money permit!

10. i am a die-hard, dyed in the wool, true blue romantic. i may be a liberated, opinionated, strong-minded woman of the latest independent breed who can outlast, outthink and outdrink most creatures of the other sex; but i love surprises, doors being held open for me and flowers on special occasions. i love walks in the park, sunsets, rose petals on my bed and a man who woos me and sweeps me off my feet. i read romance novels ( i love a good bodice ripping story) and swear solemnly by wine and candlelight dinners. poetry, handwritten notes and lazy afternoons with feathers rank way up there with a hot, sweaty salsa night and being kidnapped for a secret rendezvous.   

i now hereby tag MEC, Jonas, Johnny, Den, Jimbo, Jen Trajano, JenCC, Elapot, John Becaro, Pheng, Lette and Rei! 

My Kid Rocks The Classics

We've been spending the past three weeks at my parents' house. Typical of a household of artists, Oona's been getting a music education courtesy of my family's collection of CDs ranging from Vivaldi to Yngwie Malmsteen, from the Beatles to the PussyCatDolls. So far, we found out Oona's got a taste for the classics: Chuck Mangione, Jimi Hendrix, the Zombies and most especially, Velvet Underground. She's been swaying, jumping, hopping and bopping (with the occasional wiggle here and there) in an evolving interpretative dance routine. She's managed to insert significant pauses and facial expressions into the programme as well!

We're still waiting to see what other stuff she likes and if this musical journey will somehow transform her into another Einstein, Eisenstein or just give her a weird taste in music her future Kindergarten class will find so unique, it will merit a mention in their school yearbook. 

On My Thirtieth, On My Godparents and Me

i have turned a grand, glorious old age this year! THIRTY! and as the way of the universe goes, it's a time for introspection for me, more than any other time. so many things have happened in the closing of my twenties that i really ought to be more depressed than jubilant.

for now, i want to share my ninang linda's birthday letter to me and my reply to her and my lupon (battalion) of godparents. it's my fondest wish that oona will have the same experience (oreven better) with her own set of godparents. my ninongs and ninangs have always managed to be part of my life in the truest sense of their being my godparents. it's not the gifts or monetary equivalent of their presence, but their guidance and involvement from the little things to the major events and milestones in my life. my ninang fe, ninang chi and ninong jun are even our ninangs and ninong at my wedding! i personally felt that it was just right that the people who were called to guide me would still be the ones to help us through another milestone in the life rf and i share.

***

ninang linda is the ninang i saw least of all my fabulous ninangs and ninongs (most are from my parents' set of dear friends from the UP Mobile Theater). however, her birthday letter touched me deeply as it reflects the bonds we share as ninang and goddaughter. 

dear, dear laya:  

i was about your age when told by one of my own ninangs that she couldn't believe how the little doll she once held in her arms to receive the sacrament of baptism was now writing her...  

and such is the cycle of life.  it's our turn to tell you how hard it is to believe that the little girl who lay on my own baguio bed once now runs her own gig.  

happy birthday sweety, and have the best always.  

ninang linda

***

how long and short our lives really are and how incredibly they intertwine with people we love. having a child, i can only just imagine how i would feel when my own Oona turns thirty. how time flies, doesn't it? she made me so nostalgic and introspective . . . the right mood, i guess, for a soul-searching 30th birthday.

and here is my reply to her and the rest of my beloved ninongs and ninangs.

to my dearest, the most beautiful, talented, glorious and taray ninangs (and ninongs) ever (shempre nagmana ako and of course, ninong freddie is the tarayest of them all!),

thank you so much for the happy thoughts and birthday wishes! i truly felt the love across the digital space! we may not always have been present in the everyday aspects of each other's lives, but the grace of your presence/s has always managed to be felt. 

i find myself really amazed that i've been alive for thirty years. to some it seems the end of the world, leaving their twenties, but not so with me. i feel like the world is my oyster...again! it's funny, but i felt energized when i realized i made it to my "grand old age" (according to my soul sisters, of whom some are biologically boys), as opposed to pop culture where we're supposed to be depressed at the onset of the "mature years". what i can't believe is how excited i am about this next leg of my life adventure! my past year has been an uphill climb and still continues to be, but now it feels like the slow climb of a roller coaster before it dives for the mother of all loop-de-loops.

we, my friends and hubby, have decided to celebrate my 30th for as long as we possibly can. my dearest and bestest friends being scattered all over the globe, it's impossible to have a proper bash so we'll have to do it by installments. personally though, i plan to celebrate everyday. i've only started being thirty last night and my retrospection have only just begun so we figure it's going to take a full year (or more) for a proper festive celebration of what it means to me.

i expect a lot of changes in my life, a lot of letting go's and a lot of coming full circles. i can only thank the universe for the constancy of my roots, of which you are all an indelible part, that gives me strength and assurance in the cycle of life. i feel truly blessed to have been part of your lives from my very beginnings. through the wisdom of my parents (did i say that out loud?! hehehehe) that secured strong women, men and glorious gays in guardianship over me as my godparents, i can truly feel the touch of the goddess as i go through my own cycles as maiden, mother and far off into the future, as wise crone. 

so far, my hubby says he likes being married to a thirty-year old and my daughter doesn't seem to mind it when my knees are killing me and i can't crawl on the floor with her. i look forward to whatever my life is going to bring me from this point onward. i just know it's got to be more interesting, nerve-wracking and fulfilling as the previous years that have brought me here. it's already an auspicious start to the year when i realized i can now look down past my boobs to the floor without my tummy getting in the way! hah!

again, thank you for being part of my life, my ninangs and ninongs! i doubt my life would ever be the same without you.

love ever, 

your Laya

***

i may not know them all through and through, and they may not know me like my own parents do. but i know, that should anything have happened to my parents, none of them would have hesitated to have stepped into the myriad roles i would have needed in my life to grow into a person to be proud of. 

i hope, after thirty years of life, they can all look at me and say that the blessings they bestowed upon my infant head have truly been well-tended and fruitful. all i can say is i've certainly had one heckuva ride! :)

 

Creating A Home

It's not easy creating a home.

First you have a house and then there are the people. I'm just learning to put together the house, running the household and trying to turn it into a home.

While the people part of creating a home is a definite work in progress (and never ends), the house part so far is easy. As everyone knows, we're waiting for our unit at The Beacon to be finished. It's still under construction. Since our unit is somewhere around the 2*th floor, it would take awhile before the building's people will call us for our specifications. Nevertheless, I've been going around the net to gather as much visual pegs to help me make it one step closer to turning our future house into our future home.

A few months back I was into the general areas and appliances. Now I'm going into details with invaluable help from Lombok. I've run to their site time and time again whenever I'm looking for inspiration and ideas. They have such a wide selection of different styles that I'm sure anyone will be able to find something that would appeal to their sense of elegance and functionality. It's quite easy to browse through their user-friendly webpage too. Along with the sweet, simple and to-the-point descriptions, I especially love the photos they include with their products. Since I'm a visually oriented person, the tasteful photos showcase the items to their best advantage. It's easier to visualize the products where I want to put them in our future house.

A few examples of lovely finds are these photo frames. I think we're going to cover our walls with a mosaic of framed family and friends. It'll be a cool alternative to wall paper, cross-stitched pictures or posters. Set all over the house walls, one can follow a story and our family's history in unique frames that would reflect a photo's personality.

Lighting is also another detail I don't want to neglect either. I want to create the mood that our house is our family's sanctuary. I want a cozy ambiance with lamps to create nooks for personal space and general lighting fixtures that would pull everything together. The lamps here are perfect, from floor lamps to table or bedside lamps.

Of course, there has to be candles! In the bathrooms, in the kitchen and in the living room! Colorful, scented and potted (can't have wax on the lovely wood furniture we love!). With a child and more to come though, my candle dreams will have to be put safely higher than little arms can reach! But nevertheless, the candles will be there even if I can't light them often or when the kids are around.

Speaking of other accessories, you have to check these out! I just love a good bed to sleep and lounge in with layers of pillows and sheets and covers to get lost in! I want my family to be able to look forward to a good night's luxurious snuggle in quilts and downy comforters with a nice, firm cushion or two. Warm woods and these baskets would also give our house a homey feel and storage wouldn't be too much of an eyesore to have around.

The folks in the UK are really lucky! Ordering from this site's easy and delivery's free after a certain amount of purchases online. They do international deliveries with some coordination with a client's preferred shipping company though, so there's hope for us non-UK residents!

So far, the planning for The Beacon is going well. I just hope the final look of our place would truly live up to our expectations of what our home would be. RF and I have been looking forward to this since we thought of having our own place. And until we move in to a house that would truly be ours, we would always feel nomadic, waiting for the place we can really call our home.

Updates! Updates!

Yes. I still live and breathe, people.

Good god it's been more than a full month since I last wrote. As usual, a lot has happened and I barely had time to myself, let alone to open the computer for anything. Not that it's fixed, by the way . . . the computer has broken down MORE. I didn't think it could get more wasted than it already was, but apparently there was still room for more damage. In case you're wondering, I'm at my parents' house in QC (with Oona of course). Apart from the computer use, we're staying here to take a vacation from the long vacation. And did I mention Oona's huge, brand new canines? Yes. Teething and the holidays! What could be more perfect?

The holidays were fun, exhausting and a whirlwind of tinsel, wrapping paper and snot-filled tissue paper. The parties and family get-togethers were fun, Oona supplied the whirlwind of energy and RF and I were/are the exhausted.

RF had four office parties to go to with Oona and me in tow. We managed three before being too tired to do anything but flop around the house. Then there was the socializing with family and friends. In between schmoozing, RF came down with a bug. So naturally, Oona followed her Daddy into the sniffles with matching ginormous boogers. Who knew a nose that small could sport snot the size of quarry rocks? And of course, I faithfully followed my little family into sickness and slowly into health. Sleepless nights watching for hitches in breathing, turning over the little girl when she wakes herself up from a clogged nose or giving a back rub when the cough gets to be too much. Thank god she really does take after her Daddy's ridiculously strong constitution or else, I'd feared we'd end up giving her a vaporizer for Christmas by now. The bugs making the rounds nowadays are really nasty!

After she got well, we managed to go to Baguio for Oona's first road trip up there and experienced the famous 7.5 degree temperature drop! Having managed to survive that trip without anyone freezing to death or getting pneumonia, I would declare myself Queen of Anti-Freeze. Thanks to bundles of warm, knitted clothing and layers of warm cotton, we managed to enjoy the experience without losing digits to frostbite. We forgot to apply protection to our lips though so we had a bit of windburn there to deal with, but nothing that petroleum jelly or a Chapstick can't soothe and fix.

Our last leg of the holiday whirl, that last trip really took me out. Now, I have the flu to end all flu cases. My throat hurts, my lungs hurt, my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet and I generally feel like I got run over. Ten times. By a bus on EDSA. Ten frikkin' times because the driver backed up to make sure I was dead. Ironically I was invited to attend Nuffnang's Flu Vaccine Awareness Seminar, but I'm just too exhausted to go there and maybe sneeze at people. Er, schmooze. I meant schmooze with people.

So now, after having put the Oona to bed and unwinding for a few minutes before hitting the sack, I am of course wondering what the new year will bring my little family.

After all the excitement and spectacular highs and lows of last year, would it be too much to ask for a little steady, stable ground to stand on? Of course I'd love the classic health and wealth wishes too! But right now, I would like a little peace and quiet please. Some time to heal and regain strength and establish calm and serenity in our lives. I'm just way too tired and feeling sick to bite any more bullets and dodge spitballs.

Hopefully, this coming Year of the Ox would bring us that.

Christmas Is Around The Corner!

Whew! It's been a heckuva start for December! We gave up our yaya and then the family came down with flu. And we suspect Oona's teething again. She's been really cranky and clingy, refusing her usual solid foods, drooling a lot and sticking her finger in her mouth, rubbing her gums. We think her canines are about to make an appearance soon.

To top it off, the holidays are upon us and we haven't had much time to really get down to it. In truth, the holiday season starts really early in the Philippines. As soon as the -ber months hit, Christmas songs are starting to play and the malls have stuff for decor and presents lined up for Pre-Christmas Sale and promos. We only managed to buy a parol yesterday and materials for a DIY christmas wreath for the front door. The happy thing about shopping and decorating a little late is that we got everything on sale! Now, I have a really nice wreath done up the way I want for half the excruciating price if we bought it at the peak of the decorating season. We agreed christmas trees would be for when Oona's older and she can better appreciate it other than trying to pull down the pretty balls to see if they bounce.

Looks like this year, we won't be able to go crazy for presents like we used to when RF and I were still both working, childless professionals. (Nevertheless, it doesn't stop me from window-shopping!!!) Still, there are really great finds on foot and online. Landmark and SM are for shoppers like me with an eye for pretty stuff and a bargain. With a Christmas Sale going a dime a dozen in every mall and promos with freebies at almost every store, now's the time to go shopping! Go when it's not rush hour madness from 5PM til 8PM: lots of people, less time to choose items and sometimes, less chances of nabbing what you really like. The magic shopping time for me is as soon as the mall opens at 10AM until right before lunch time when the malls fill up with people trying to eat and shop at the same time before going back to work. Then again at around 2PM til 4PM, before people rush to the mall from school or work. Cabs are also easy to get at around those times. :D

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Speaking of presents and pretty stuff, Grow In Style invited me to check out their online store. I fell in love with their sweet Eco-friendly, Organic Diaper Cakes. For the uninitiated, Diaper Cakes are not edible cakes. They're constructed of diapers and other baby items put together in an adorable way. It beats having stuff in traditional gift boxes, you know. It not only looks good as a present for birthdays, baptisms, or the first hospital visit, it can even be the baby shower centerpiece if you want them to start early in style! It would even look good under the christmas tree! (I want one for my next bundle of joy, people! Hint! Hint!) :D

Diaper Cakes are so practical, bursting with items you and your baby needs but looking SO darn good, you'll have issues about pulling it apart. See? SEE? That on the left is the Buzzy Bee 4 Tier Diaper Cake. That's my favorite. And no, you really can't eat it.

This one comes with: Approximately 70 Size 1 Baby NatureCare Diapers, Organic Bumble Bee Cotton Teether by Under the Nile, Natursutten BPA Free Pacifier, 100% Organic Onesie, 100% Organic Thermal Receiving Blanket (measuring 30"x40"), 5 Piece Weleda Starter Kit, Buzzy Bee Storybook, and 2 Handcrafted Bumble Bee Alligator Clips (can be used as decorations or hair clips for a baby girl). You can even add your own surprises to be tucked within the cake itself!

Apart from the way the Grow In Style Diaper Cakes are made, I'm particularly happy about the fact that they're 100% Organic and Eco-friendly. You can use everything guilt-free! Their baby products are all made from natural ingredients, some are even hand-crafted. Toys and accessories use non-toxic paint and "guaranteed NOT to contain any harsh chemicals, parabens, BPA, PVC or phtalates". Weleda Baby Care Products were also chosen for these qualities. According to Grow In Style: "they protect the baby's skin using the gentlest and most natural ingredients, such as Calendula, beeswax and almond oil. The 5 Piece Starter Kit gives mom the opportunity to try out a variety of their products."

However, should you prefer the more traditional gift boxes, they still have goodies you can put together for thoughtful presents that show you care (Uyyy...Tag line!). And since all this is online, all you have to do is place your order and they'll deliver it to you or the recipient (if you're not able to give it personally). Yup, Ninongs and Ninangs, they do international orders! They're based in the US but shipping overseas is okay. (I'm not sure how long it takes to get to Manila though.)

All in all, do I think Grow In Style's got bang for your buck? Yes I do. It's all natural, very practical and very safe. They also look darn GOOD. So Go! Support Eco-friendly products! It's never too early to start kids on being earth-friendly either! Make a new Mom or Mom-to-be happy.

Sigh. As for us with toddlers nearing potty training, I guess we'll have to wait for the next baby to have the perfect excuse to expect or get ourselves a Diaper Cake! :D

FUN STUFF FOR MOM: Baby Astrology

you're nauseated, nothing settles you down and your hormones are giving you a heckuva rollercoaster ride. great news is, you're pregnant!

there's so much stuff on the net to help you have more fun if your hormones aren't driving you to be moving around or nesting. on the down times, here are a few places i checked out.

First up is Baby Astrology: What's your baby's sign?

Yes. I checked out Oona's Astrological sign one day that I was bored to death. Along with being named after strong women, I'm afraid we hit her with a double whammy to be a fierce little fighter with her Western astrological sign. At least her Eastern Birth year tempers it so we haven't had a really difficult time with our little Leo Piggy! Read on!

The Leo Baby is, above all else, loud! Forget sleep for the foreseeable future, Mom and Dad. This is a baby who must be heard and will certainly let everyone in their midst know what they want. Think center of attention, since there really is no other way for this tot!

> so true! she's a little dynamo! moving, moving, moving all the time! nobody goes to sleep before she does. the only way for us to convince her to go to sleep is to pull in the shades so this little sun-worshipper could rein in her energy for a bit to get rest in the afternoons. she doesn't know her own limits yet so we're teaching her to sleep at a certain time so that she won't over-exert herself and get cranky the entire day. she also loves noise, even in the dark, she would still play or sing or babble or carry a weird conversation with me (weird because she's got her own language and i can't understand it in a cerebral way). she expresses herself well, though...babbling, pointing at what she wants or dragging you to what she wants you to do or where she wants to go. at a year and three months, she uses her entire body for expression. but, no coherent speech in our language yet. all she's got is her own language and that bond we share with her. so far it works. she's also a true performer. being the center of attention, she's very gracious to her audience, pulling out all the stops on her cute tricks and adorable antics. thank god she behaves well whenever we're in public or with company...except when she's already stretched to tantrum-point (like any child) and even that hasn't happened beyond what I can count on one hand.

With a Leo baby as part of the plan, family life will revolve around this magnetic child. The Leo baby adores an audience, so it should come as no surprise that many of these tots go on to become stars of stage and screen. This babe is auditioning early on!

> Yep, she loves a good, appreciative audience. But I'm also glad she has enough independence and confidence to be able to play on her own. When there are people, she'll be her gracious little self, like a gracious little hostess entertaining guests at a dinner party. I haven't seen her be mean or selfish to anybody. She pulls out all her toys to share to the kids, even gives the adults a toy so they can share in the fun...she tries to give people a ten-cent tour of her favorite spots in the house or attempts to share her bottle. When she's tired, she'll be quiet or if she really doesn't feel up to it, she tells Mommy or Daddy or Lola in no uncertain terms (whimper...).

To that end, this is a child who is also competitive, so maybe they are prepping for that dog-eat-dog Hollywood whirl from day one. When in a play group or any social situation, the Leo baby will make friends easily and will thrive on the interaction, since being on-stage is where they're at. Even so, they will have a hard time sharing things, such as roles, responsibilities, and even toys.

>Hmmm...If I have anything to say about it, she will continue being the gracious and unselfish little girl that she is. A little competition is fine but I don't like brats and spoilsports. After all, I am an Aquarian and I live to break the mold. Above all else, I'm happy that Oona has a sunny disposition and nothing should ruin that...not childish selfishness or vanity at always being the center of attention. I don't want any shooting stars for my child, I want her to shine steady, strong and true. Light like that shines longer.

The King (or Queen) of everything they see, they will be the one making the rules, after all. To sum up, the Leo baby is the leader of the pack, loads of fun, and will expect to live in the most comfortable of kingdoms. Pity the parent who won't play along!

> She is certainly Princess-in-training-to-be-Queen-someday. But I hope we would be able to guide her to be a true Queen as her namesakes are: to emulate the best qualities of each, learn from their mistakes and avoid them and be strong where their frailties have weakened them. From myself, though I know I'm far from being the perfect specimen, I hope to help her along to learn from history and her own experiences. I am terrified, of course. This is huge. We can all only hope for so much for all our children. But that is what parents are for.

I never liked brats or the kids who can't control themselves. I'm no paragon of virtue but I'll be darned if I let Oona grow up to be a Queen and not deserve every bit of the good it means (and none of the bad).

Now on to Oona's Birth Year!

About the Pig Baby

Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac.

>WHOO-HOO!!! Great tempering agent to the aggressive Leo!

Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise).

> Hmm...must teach Oona value of simple living. After all, one can find elegance in simplicity. Think the Japanese way of life!

This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling.

> Bait ng anak ko! Buti na lang Leo sha so she won't be a push-over! Oona does love to laugh and see others laugh. She's generous with her smiles and her flying kisses.

A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner.

> Yup...Oona really is a generous little girl. Mental note: Must enroll Oona in aikido for proper ass-kicking training. You know, just in case. Still, I'm hoping that the Leo in her kicks in to balance this emerging magnanimity. I hope she can manage to be firm and giving without being a doormat like I was when I was younger.

Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.

> Must cultivate her innate qualities and balance it out with the Leo's love of social interaction.

The most compatible match for a Pig is the Rabbit or the Goat.

> Haha...tsaka na yang compatibility thing na yan! I'll deal with the matchmaking after seventeen years or so.

Of course RF and I believe it's in the upbringing how Oona's going to turn out. We both have high hopes and dark fears about ourselves as parents. I know we'll never be able to get rid of the feeling that we're responsible for this little being, because it's true. We brought her into the world, it's up to us to teach her how to get on in it. While there's no manual on how to raise a good person, it does help to have little things like these to contribute to how we could shape her character and how well she'll do later on.

Of course an astrological reading has to be more in depth to truly nail things down, but I don't mind a general overview. I still pretty much love surprises so I think it's no fun if at this point, I'll be neurotic enough to want to know everything about my daughter's fate and destiny, if such things can truly be 100% read in the stars. She'll have to figure out those things on her own, I believe. I won't be the kill-joy to deny her the adventure she'll be making of her own life. I'd like to help and be there along with her and be as surprised as she is at the wonders waiting for her.


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