On My Thirtieth, On My Godparents and Me

i have turned a grand, glorious old age this year! THIRTY! and as the way of the universe goes, it's a time for introspection for me, more than any other time. so many things have happened in the closing of my twenties that i really ought to be more depressed than jubilant.

for now, i want to share my ninang linda's birthday letter to me and my reply to her and my lupon (battalion) of godparents. it's my fondest wish that oona will have the same experience (oreven better) with her own set of godparents. my ninongs and ninangs have always managed to be part of my life in the truest sense of their being my godparents. it's not the gifts or monetary equivalent of their presence, but their guidance and involvement from the little things to the major events and milestones in my life. my ninang fe, ninang chi and ninong jun are even our ninangs and ninong at my wedding! i personally felt that it was just right that the people who were called to guide me would still be the ones to help us through another milestone in the life rf and i share.

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ninang linda is the ninang i saw least of all my fabulous ninangs and ninongs (most are from my parents' set of dear friends from the UP Mobile Theater). however, her birthday letter touched me deeply as it reflects the bonds we share as ninang and goddaughter. 

dear, dear laya:  

i was about your age when told by one of my own ninangs that she couldn't believe how the little doll she once held in her arms to receive the sacrament of baptism was now writing her...  

and such is the cycle of life.  it's our turn to tell you how hard it is to believe that the little girl who lay on my own baguio bed once now runs her own gig.  

happy birthday sweety, and have the best always.  

ninang linda

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how long and short our lives really are and how incredibly they intertwine with people we love. having a child, i can only just imagine how i would feel when my own Oona turns thirty. how time flies, doesn't it? she made me so nostalgic and introspective . . . the right mood, i guess, for a soul-searching 30th birthday.

and here is my reply to her and the rest of my beloved ninongs and ninangs.

to my dearest, the most beautiful, talented, glorious and taray ninangs (and ninongs) ever (shempre nagmana ako and of course, ninong freddie is the tarayest of them all!),

thank you so much for the happy thoughts and birthday wishes! i truly felt the love across the digital space! we may not always have been present in the everyday aspects of each other's lives, but the grace of your presence/s has always managed to be felt. 

i find myself really amazed that i've been alive for thirty years. to some it seems the end of the world, leaving their twenties, but not so with me. i feel like the world is my oyster...again! it's funny, but i felt energized when i realized i made it to my "grand old age" (according to my soul sisters, of whom some are biologically boys), as opposed to pop culture where we're supposed to be depressed at the onset of the "mature years". what i can't believe is how excited i am about this next leg of my life adventure! my past year has been an uphill climb and still continues to be, but now it feels like the slow climb of a roller coaster before it dives for the mother of all loop-de-loops.

we, my friends and hubby, have decided to celebrate my 30th for as long as we possibly can. my dearest and bestest friends being scattered all over the globe, it's impossible to have a proper bash so we'll have to do it by installments. personally though, i plan to celebrate everyday. i've only started being thirty last night and my retrospection have only just begun so we figure it's going to take a full year (or more) for a proper festive celebration of what it means to me.

i expect a lot of changes in my life, a lot of letting go's and a lot of coming full circles. i can only thank the universe for the constancy of my roots, of which you are all an indelible part, that gives me strength and assurance in the cycle of life. i feel truly blessed to have been part of your lives from my very beginnings. through the wisdom of my parents (did i say that out loud?! hehehehe) that secured strong women, men and glorious gays in guardianship over me as my godparents, i can truly feel the touch of the goddess as i go through my own cycles as maiden, mother and far off into the future, as wise crone. 

so far, my hubby says he likes being married to a thirty-year old and my daughter doesn't seem to mind it when my knees are killing me and i can't crawl on the floor with her. i look forward to whatever my life is going to bring me from this point onward. i just know it's got to be more interesting, nerve-wracking and fulfilling as the previous years that have brought me here. it's already an auspicious start to the year when i realized i can now look down past my boobs to the floor without my tummy getting in the way! hah!

again, thank you for being part of my life, my ninangs and ninongs! i doubt my life would ever be the same without you.

love ever, 

your Laya

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i may not know them all through and through, and they may not know me like my own parents do. but i know, that should anything have happened to my parents, none of them would have hesitated to have stepped into the myriad roles i would have needed in my life to grow into a person to be proud of. 

i hope, after thirty years of life, they can all look at me and say that the blessings they bestowed upon my infant head have truly been well-tended and fruitful. all i can say is i've certainly had one heckuva ride! :)