Busy Bee Mommy!

8 July 2008

I.AM.UP.TO.MY.EYEBALLS.IN.BUSY.

Nope that wasn't a typo. The BUSY symbol has been permanently attached to my YM since time immemorial (a little over a month ago). And there's no chance of it ever coming down.

Poor excuse not to be writing in but there it is. I am near to being sick of the sight of a computer monitor. But must make time for this every once in awhile!

So...updates, updates! Rewind!

A month or so ago: I used to be Assistant Studio Director for a nice little art services studio. Then I am not. The particulars, which would be savory tidbits for industry gossip over coffee, cigarettes or whatever your favorite poison would be, will not be aired *here*. I haven't been sufficiently provoked...yet. So no evil laughter inserts at the moment.

So career-wise, I have reincarnated in the space of a month from being ASD to my old favorite: Troubleshooter (which is what an ASD is, only I get to work in my pajamas). I wield a mighty pen tablet over Photoshop these days than the almighty memo. I worry about color than the million managerial worries that used to plague me in my old life. I am doing color for comics and flexing long unused Photoshopping muscles to help jumpstart an old dream. And yes, busy up to my eyeballs, sick of my monitor, the seat of my pants acquiring the general shape of my office chair, and on top of that, I'm SO loving this.

It was hard working for someone else's dream, but it's harder working for yours.

With my former boss, we're putting up a little something. We figure we're too old and ornery to work for someone else again and it was the universe telling us to materialize our dreams now instead of putting it off. No time like the present and all that. So officially, we put up our OWN little art studio and I'm ASD still. Unofficially, I'm put wherever I'm needed. Troubleshooter. I'm not much into titles but I'll take that anytime.

Other than work, I play with Oona, go out on occasion on dates with the ever lovable wise-ass Mr. F and assorted family and friends, catch up on reading, binge on episodes of Bones and reconnect with the human race. I find that I really like the respite from two years of stupid office drama and politics.

But busy is still busy does, believe me. Nowadays since we're starting up from scratch, I only have two times: Work time and Other time. Work is work and Other is the category wherein everything else that doesn't involve the computer falls under. It's a strict rule. It's like leaving work at the office. Only I work at home, so a little mental adjustment will have to do.

Hopefully soon I'll have more time to invest in Other time when things get better with Work time. Oona's growing up so fast and I'm nowhere getting any younger. But...Konting tiis na lang. Just a little bit more patience.

Such is the price of dreams.

My First Tag!

28 April 2008, Thursday

Things are getting heavier with my posts lately so I thought something light should provide the proverbial breather until the next "heavy" post.

My on-line soul sistah Mec tagged me recently with the "Desktop Tag". Tags are FUN. Tags are the computer age's Getting to Know You/Show and Tell game. I lurve games! *heart*

So here's my desktop!

1. My desktop has a downloaded wallpaper called Digital Love. I used to have my hubby's face plastered on the screen but it was hazardous to my health as I kept getting caught staring at it like a lovesick teenager on weed. I'll never get any work done if I had my drooly little baby's picture either so I was safe with an abstract representation of the loves of my life.

My icons are on the left side (yep, your left) and my PostIt Lite notes are haphazardly posted all over the majority of the upper right.

Not really very neat, but I know where everything is.

2. Yes. At the moment, I have a bazillion windows open: surfing, email, IM. It's not half of what I usually have open. It's a slow day today and my eyes are a little tired so I don't have Photoshop open. I just finished typing up stuff so I just closed Microsoft Word down.


So there, my work desktop. Later I'll post my home desktop, Mec! :) I tag the few bloggy friends I have: Jonas, Caroline, Johnny, Yaz, Mommy Pheng, G&Chief and Kitts for when they're not saving the world from monsters and they're looking for something to do.

Pislabenrakenrol!

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 5

The Delicate Balance

I was giddy seeing the bean for the very first time.

I forgot about everything else: the thing stuck in my insides, my nerves, my fears. All I could think of was, “That’s our baby! We have a baby!” I was still in shock, but I was now happy shocked.

“Is everything alright with our baby?” We asked excitedly.

“Well, let’s have the doctor interpret these images for you, okay?” the nurse said.

Blissed out, we were content.

Back in the good doctor’s little office we went to wait while she signed for the ultrasound images.

“Well, congratulations! You’re going to be parents in roughly 8 months!” she grins.

”You’re four weeks along and the baby seems to be holding on.”

We beam at each other. We beam at her and back at each other again.

“However…”

However?

There’s a however!?

“We need to put you on this medicine. Do you see this dark area here…and here? There shouldn’t be any. It means the little place where your baby is living in is not fully attached to your womb.”

And that meant?

“We need to help the baby attach more firmly or we could lose it.”

Whoa.

I couldn’t breathe. I think I crushed Mr. F’s hand but he wasn’t saying anything. I didn’t want to look at him at all.

“It isn’t your fault or anything. This can be brought on by the holiday stress, your travelling, work…there’s a lot of factors involved so we really don’t know what caused this. It just means we have to take it easy and be careful from here on.”

She began writing a prescription but I was barely listening.

I thought it wasn’t going to mean much. I honestly thought I was afraid to have the little bean. Now that I’ve seen that it was growing in me, I felt more afraid of losing that little pulse beating in my belly.

“So don’t drink, don’t smoke, watch what you eat, sleep early and lay off the stress. We’ll keep you on this for two weeks then you come back to me and we’ll see. Okay?”

Mr. F answered for us both. “We’ll see you in two weeks, Doc.”

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 4

And Baby Makes Three

“Is that my baby?”

I swear, my nose gets stuffy so fast, I was breathing out my mouth.

“Yes ma’am. That’s the sac, the little circle is where your baby is getting the nutrients. See that thread-like thing? That’s a tiny umbilical cord and the little pulsing thing at the bottom is your baby.”

I wasn’t full on crying,

I was holding it in for dignity’s sake but I did get a headache from trying to tamp down the waterworks. The monitor was getting blurry so I think I pretty much leaked enough.

She said we’d get copies, like snapshots of the bean.

It was just simply incredible. Ginormous.

I know its so cliché but I never felt such a deep-down kind of joy. I’m sure the technician sees things like this everyday so I hope she hasn’t grown numb being witness to the miracle of life. It’s simply awesome to be part of The Moment.

Mr. F and me plus the little bean….our little sprout.

We were going to be a family.

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 3

Open Wide and Say Cheese!

“So, let’s validate those pink lines with an ultrasound” Dra. O said after the cursory questions (and thankfully no IE!).

“Let’s see if your guess is right on the money.”

So with that, off we went with another nurse to what would technically be our little sprout’s first picture.

Of course, I thought it was going to be something like on TV. They put you up on a bed, paint your tummy with some kind of gel and use a contraption on you that look like a roll-on deodorant.

While that DOES happen, it turns out that I’d have to be a couple months pregnant-er to be able to use that particular gizmo (transabdominal ultrasound).

So what I’d get? A Transvaginal Ultrasound. Yep, right up my yahoo.

If anyone hasn’t seen a Transvaginal Ultrasound thingie, all I can tell you is that you had better be nice to everyone in the clinic…especially the nurse in the Ultrasound room. The thing looks like the prototype for a Jedi light saber. It’s a little short so maybe it’s for a tiny Jedi Master (Yoda, maybe?).

Sooo...the thing is put in a disposable condom and lathered with KY jelly. I was told to relax and breathe deep and YAHOOOOO. Needless to say I wasn’t relaxed.

“Ma’m relax.” The technician said. “This is going to be more uncomfortable for you since I have to move it around.”

“You have to what!?”

“I have to get a picture of your ovaries and your fallopian tubes.”

I felt like a popsicle. Cold, exposed and stuck on a stick.

Then, it happens. No preambles, no drumrolls, no heraldic blast of trumpets to announce The Moment.

“Ma’m? Sir? There it is.”

Right on the monitor…our sprout.

The shape of a kidney bean. A little circle in it. A little pulse in the middle of the stillness. I wanted to touch the screen. I looked over at Mr. F and there he was, no longer smiling, but I could see this moment would be something we would both remember for as long as we lived.

No shit.

Remembering it, I still get teary-eyed.