WEAR YOUR BABY!

I know it sounds like I'm talking about a fashion accessory. But really, when we're talking about attachment parenting, wearing your baby is a part of it . . . and why shouldn't be tradition be fashionable?

The Why!

I wanted to have a baby carrier early on because I wanted to be as mobile as I could be. I was also still feeling weak and afraid I might drop Oona with the exhaustion I was feeling from too little sleep and general fatigue. However, I wanted to keep carrying Oona around while I was doing stuff around the house or if I was going out to the grocery. I wanted to be as close as possible to Oona with my hands free.

We also noticed that Oona seemed to be less fussy, nods off quicker and sleeps better whenever she was carried. We know it's because the rhythm of walking around mimics the motion she was used to in the womb and the heartbeat, no matter how faint, is a comfort. There's also the warmth and feeling of security she gets whenever she's close to us. And for RF and me, there's that warm fuzzy feeling of being able to provide for that kind of well-being.

Another cause for concern for me was that I felt that my hips and my back weren't like what they used to be. It was only later on that I found out that I had a mild form of sciatica from my pregnancy. Bending over to pick her up or carrying her would sometimes cause me to have stabbing pains that I was afraid I would drop her one day. I would feel like I was locked in place by the pain.

My center of gravity wasn't totally restored either so I was always off-balanced. With my hands free and Oona strapped securely to me, I would be able to better maneuver in case I should fall. That was what I was thinking then, but god forbid should that have ever happened and I fell on Oona instead!!! Que horror! (This is why most of the pictures are of RF wearing Oona more than me!)

The Make-shift Sling

What also worked for us when Oona wasn't sleeping through the night yet (and wanted to be held ALL NIGHT or be as close as possible to me or RF) was we'd swaddle her and wrap her securely to our chest with a thin blanket. We were wearing her to sleep, so to speak.

I wasn't afraid I'd roll over her or suffocate her. I was virtually bolted in place by the pillows all around me and the weight of the baby on my chest. She woke up periodically to nurse and her movements would immediately wake me up. I'd then loosen the blanket-wrap, give her a feed and put her up on my chest again for her to burp and go back to sleep.

For RF, coming from night shift, it was also to ensure he didn't drop her while spending quality time with her before nodding off for his own dose of the Zzz's. He'd be so tired that he would fall asleep in the middle of a lullaby he was signing. I'd find them sleeping together this way, surrounded by pillows and I wouldn't have any space left. I'd sleep on the bottom half of the bed or in the couch on the living room. Good thing we invested in comfortable furnishings!

Oona also seemed to have less reflux and wasn't colicky at all. She slept longer and woke up a nicer baby. She used to wake up with a vengeance when she sensed she was not wedged or warm enough to indicate a human body was right next to her.

We weren't confident to try the make-shift blanket wrap outside the bed of course. We weren't playing with a doll!

Next: WEAR YOUR BABY 2: HISTORY

THE FIRST NINE MONTHS: THINKING ABOUT PARENTHOOD

RF and I didn't plan on becoming a couple. Nor did we plan to become parents. We wanted to have children but were unsure as to if and when we'll actually have them. I was more unsure than RF but towards the end of our first year of marriage, I was already thinking about it. We weren't using protection or any method to avoid pregnancy, but we weren't really going for gold.

I found myself looking at my tummy in the mirror sometimes. I was thinking how my belly, full with child, would look like. Of course, later on I would be sadly disappointed and would shy away from pregnant belly portraits that's still all the rage today because I just looked like a very fat woman who waddled like a very fat duck. But I wouldn't know that then!

I was fantasizing about what I would wear, recalling how my mom would look in her nice, long shifts. Nevermind later that I couldn't possibly wear her old preggy stuff. I was too large and overheated that I wanted shorter, lighter dresses with a bit of cleavage (Ha ha!).

True, fashion concerns are not the meat of it. But everything, no matter how seemingly trivial it is, matters. It contributes about how you feel about the whole thing.

One of the very few things we thought about before we actively tried to have Oona, was if we were ready for parenthood. As individuals, as a couple . . . was our marriage ready to welcome the responsibility and strain of raising another human being?

We had our fights. We had our preferences. We enjoyed our lifestyle. Was our lives big enough to share with someone else?

It does sound selfish, but they're actually realistic and honest questions I felt I had to answer. I wanted the chances of regret anytime in the future to be significantly small. Whether I wanted to or not, I didn't want our future child/children to consciously or subconsciously feel in any way that I blamed their birth for anything I might miss out on.

Exploring my feelings, I knew my life would change profoundly after having a child. I knew there were a lot of things I wouldn't be able to do anymore and a lot of things that would remain dreams. I would give up things, miss out on things and maybe regret things.

What about my career? I felt like a hotshot, with the world at my feet. I had so many dreams, plans . . . isn't motherhood going to stifle me? Wouldn't it hold me back? I run with the wolves, outstripping bulls and facing down everyday mayhem. I loved that life! What would happen to me when I suddenly stopped?

I felt a part of me would die but I had to face and deal with it, lay it to rest for my child's and my sanity's sake. I've read far too many disgruntled mother/housewife stories to want that for myself. Although I have no illusions about the future, even then, I would make damn sure I don't end up unhappy at the very least.

Me, as mother, being unhappy would affect how I would be as a Mom and a wife. I don't want my kids to hate me or wish for a different mother. Which begs the question, what kind of mother would I make? I've heard too many stories of horrible mothers too. What if I wasn't meant to be a mother? I really didn't want to find out when I already had a child that I would be unable to care for and love! Needless to say, I had a lot of angsts.

RF was a lot easier. He swanned gracefully, almost without effort, into the role of Dad. I would say Fatherhood becomes him . . . even the impending Fatherhood gave him an extra Oomph!

We talked about how our plans for the future would change, little knowing that talk barely just covers the possibilities, but it greatly helps.

At least, we nailed down the basics:
1. We love each other no matter what.
2. We're in it together.
3. We'll do our very best, always to the best of our abilities.

There would be less dates, unplanned trips, splurges or even drastic career shifts. Everything would be revolving around the welfare of the child and family, more than the pleasures we used to fantasize about. Very practical, very discipline life, very safe and I feared, very dead-end for me.

Then one night, I was home alone as usual, RF being on his night shift. I realized that despite all this worrying, I was really giving the baby and motherhood matter serious thinking. I wasn't shying away from it at all. For me that was an indication that I cared about the life we were bringing into the family. Family! We were going to be a family, our OWN little fan's club! Terribly exclusive.

I laughed, then I cried. I suddenly felt that I wanted it to be real at that very moment. Did this mean that I was ready? Hahaha. Right. Knowing what I know now, nobody's ever ready for motherhood. I also still believe that there are people who can't be parents but now I know, I'm not one of them.

What I realized then was that my heart felt so full of love and the cup that RF and I share, doth runneth over. (Ugh! Cheeeeeese!!!) There's really so much love to give and it's such a shame to waste on what now look like trivial pursuits that wouldn't make a difference a hundred years from now.

***

A part of me did die, but it was a welcome death. What mattered to me was that I found that a whole new part of me sprung up to live. Being a mother had its own adventures and did I really mind giving up late nights, hungover-sick mornings and going home to an empty house?

There are a myriad ways to fulfill oneself. I still don't know how my life would find expression aside from being wife and mother, but I'm not afraid to find out. I'm actually excited.

But above all else, pouring the love RF and I share to this amazing little girl is all that truly matters to us.

OCTOBER IS ATTACHMENT PARENTING MONTH

October is Attachment Parenting Month.

For many of us in this part of the world, Attachment Parenting isn't really a new concept. How we care for our children, like breastfeeding, swaddling, co-sleeping and maintaining close contact are part and parcel of our heritage. It is deeply ingrained in our society that still sustains extended family ties and caring for our elders in their twilight years.

It's a little jarring then, and very humbling to learn that other countries don't do it like we do and take this kind of upbringing far less for granted. Since it's almost second nature for us, we tend to overlook just how valuable our customs in raising our children are.

In other countries, especially the US, there is a resurgence of this kind of parenting, which they call Attachment Parenting, a term coined by Dr. William Sears (yes, THAT Dr. Sears!).

According to Dr. Sears' theory, groups like the Attachment Parenting International (API) promote the development of a secure bond with children through eight principles or goals for parents.

These are:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Engage in Nighttime Parenting
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

These are naturally subject to personal interpretation. Attachment parents can also choose to have a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle.

According to Wikipedia, the NFL lifestyle ascribes to practices "such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, the anti-vaccination movement, natural health, cooperative movements, and support of organic food."

The good thing about Dr. Sears is that he doesn't require any strict set of rules, instead he 's encouraging parents to creatively respond to a child's needs. Attachment parenting, in a nutshell, really focuses on the responses that help develop secure attachments.

I really think it's just getting back to our roots. That primeval bond between parent and young that gets lost in the modern day grind of work, career, material comfort and their accompanying results. Childhood is today's greatest casualty.

From the API website:

About AP Month

What: Attachment Parenting International (API), along with the Sears family and other prominent AP supporters, have declared October to be Attachment Parenting (AP) Month.

The AP Month vision is to create one strong voice for AP through activities, events and information and to celebrate what we believe in — the value of “Giving Our Children Presence” for our families and for our communities.

Who: All parents, AP partners and like minds around the world are invited and encouraged to join with us in “Giving Our Children Presence” during the first annual Attachment Parenting Month.

Why: “Giving Our Children Presence” is the theme for AP Month 2008 and an antidote to the upcoming holidays so often filled with the giving of material presents. During AP Month, parents are challenged to incorporate more family time into each day and AP Month partners will offer resources to support and sustain these efforts all year round.

Key AP Month Goals include unifying the AP voice to:

1. Offer parents and adults support and confidence in “Giving Our Children Presence” to last a lifetime
2. Promote awareness of AP
3. Educate about API, other AP Month sponsors and their services
4. Provide a source of funds to support the API mission

Resources: The AP Month Central website is the gateway to information about AP Month. It includes a calendar of activities in which to participate and the AP Month Toolkit as resource for you to use to plan and promoting your own events and activities for October.

Our love, our presence, our time and attention are the most important things we can give our kids.

I'm glad the other half of today's culture (the "westernly" half) is becoming more involved with this kind of parenting. I'm also hoping it's not just a fad or a novelty for them, as with most movements that start out with good intentions. And for us who already use this kind of parenting style, may we learn to appreciate our parenting heritage more, value it and affirm its benefits through our own kids.

BIZZY BIZZY, IN A DIZZY!

So Blogger still hasn't restored my "store blog". Sooo . . . I made a new one.

I am a closet shopaholic. When I was nesting, RF was fighting off panic that I would buy half the department store's baby section merchandise every time we passed by while malling. As it is, we've some stuff that we had to give away or box up because Oona ended up not using them at all.

Of course, what they are escapes my memory as I've developed a convenient partial amnesia due to the trauma of putting away such cute, but barely used stuff. I am therefore determined, for the rest of Oona's stuff, to get as much mileage as possible. I don't care if she's not going to a party, but by golly! She's going to be wearing those dresses for a walk in the park! Or the lobby for all I care! They're too cute not to be worn and she's going to look cute every day!

Anyhoo . . . my other blog.

Surfing, blog-hopping and subscribing to all those newsletters ran me across so many drool-worthy stuff. I know I can't buy them all, but if I can't, someone else might! And oh the virtual enjoyment of it! I shall *lurve* it vicariously! So I'm posting them all there.

Online window shopping is also a great way to satisfy my love of seeing new things without the threat of bankruptcy. After all, my problem isn't I have to have it! . . . It's more of a girl geekazoid's awe of Ooh! Look! . . . something like that. I also have the habit of buying for people (Oh, my sister would like that!), stocking them as gifts and never mind if their birthday's still in January and it's the middle of May.

I'll have product features, reviews, shops I've gone to with my preggo needs and the results of my world wide web window shopping sprees.

So, pardon the unfinished look of the new place. I'm still painting a few corners and putting up some more shelves, but you're all welcome to drop by and poke around at Luscious Picks!

CALL OUTS FOR BLOG ACTION DAY!

October 15 is the BIG DAY for bloggers, podcasters and videocasters all over the world wide web! It's when all of us talk, post and blog about one topic, create enough noise to be heard about it and hopefully effect a change that would go beyond our computer monitors. This year, the topic is about Poverty. We see enough of it everyday, but what do we do about it?

Ripples, people! Ripples! The power of the written word, bloggers! Pen, mightier than the sword! The spoken word puts ideas into other people's heads! Let's use what we have to bring this issue out and make it possible for our thoughts, ideas and feelings to walk out into the world and into concrete action.

Just one day. Imagine what could happen if we all talked about it, all at the same time! How far would our ripples go? Let's see it touch the lives of people all over the world!

Join us! Click that graphic up there and contribute a little of your time to make that ripple grow!

THE FIRST NINE MONTHS

I was largely uncomfortable when I was pregnant.

AND uncomfortably large. I ballooned to 200 lbs. and the bad part was that I didn't look pregnant. I just looked FAT.

I also felt so over-heated that I needed the air-conditioning on with the electric fan. RF would swear he was in the Arctic Circle, freezing his butt off while I would be complaining that the Gobi Desert was probably cooler than our room at high noon.

I had food cravings, aversions, mood swings and crying bouts. I'd get irritated with RF but didn't want him out of my sight. I cut off my long hair because it was falling off in alarming amounts. Then I regretted it big time. I felt ugly. I waddled. Nothing would fit me.

Hay! That's not even half of it.

Nevertheless, making my pregnancy album took me back to that time and surprisingly made me laugh. Sure there was pain, nausea and Goddess knows what else, but there were pay-offs that continue to this day.

I'll be sharing the album I made as a series with a trimester-ly write up, not only to share what I and RF went through, but also to help others out there who was as clueless as I was.

Spam Blogged Out!

I spent the past week and a half fixing up the blogs and setting up a "store" blog. The shopaholic widgets make my pages take forever to load, so I decided to put them all in one shopping page.

Last night, the hardest part was bending the blogger templates to my will, given that there seems to be a quirk with saving my work and an error would appear. But I was able to re-layout the page to make it look like my other pages with extra panels to accommodate a lot of widgets. I spent hours wrestling with CSS code and the usual html/xml mumbo-jumbo.

I went to sleep with a slight headache and my dreams full of frameset=char/script/noscript>.

Then I wake up to THIS --------------------->

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRRRRRRgh!

Cue Music: *Psycho Shower Theme*

WTF?!

Apparently the blog I was making made their robots suspicious that a Spam blog was being constructed.

Kasi, I wasn't able to post any articles yet. I was still trying to make sure my Amazon widgets fit and if they looked good on the lay-out. Unfortunately because there were four links to Amazon when I turned in for the night and not much else that personalized the page by way of original content, I got shut down.

So now, I sent an unlock request to Blogger to prove I'm not someone else's robot bent on clogging the search engines and wasting human beings' time. And to further hammer it down to Blogger, I'm blogging about it too while I wait for the requisite 24 hours or so while a human being reviews Luscious Picks!

And if they still shut it down, I'll put up another one! I'll beat their robots' logic yet!

Oona's Growing Up

Oona's becoming more and more pilya.

Oona with an electrical cord (NYAAA!).
Don't worry, that's not the business end of it. She also doesn't put it in her mouth.
Plus she's well supervised. So lay off the lecture, self-righteous people! Get off my blog!

Of course, she's still as lovable as ever, and getting more so everyday. She's also developing a sketchy sense of right versus wrong already, but I'll be darned if she actually knows what right or wrong really means. Sometimes she thinks it's a game, until her plans (like opening the kitchen cabinet doors and going through the bigas) is foiled.

She knows that when Lola or Yaya Rina says "No" or starts shaking their heads, it means that whatever she's doing is, er - unadvisable. She merely takes it as a suggestion though. She somehow knows how to get around them by appealing to their tender-hearted natures with a sad, saaaad face.

She'll also appeal to her doting father with the look. I think all babies have that innate ability to look at you and make your insides melt at will. Ooh, POWER!!!

(<--- That's the "I am not amused" deadpan/blank stare.)

She's also developing a few impish tricks of her own.

An example would be, whenever she wants to go to the space behind the sofas (forbidden because we put the electric fan and the cables there, out of her reach), she'll "accidentally" drop a toy there and point to it. As soon as you move the barricades to pick up the toy, she'll make her move! She'll scoot past you on her little butt like greased lightning, laughing all the way! (She can toddle but she can't crawl on her hands and knees.)

Of course, she'll cry at the tragedy of being picked up and put out of harm's way when she's noticed. She'll sniffle a bit but she'll try the trick again...and again...and again.

I think the only way to counter the look is by developing the voice. It's a mother's most powerful tool, next to mom's the stare. Since the stare only seem to affect older kids than Oona (it varies or so I've heard), the voice seem to be a good alternative to develop.

I'm not so hot on spanking my kid, I mean jeez! She just turned one. I'm not about to yell at her either. But I figure we have to aggressively start her on discipline for her own protection. It's about time for her to learn that not everything is safe for her.

So far, when I use the firm tone in the voice she seems to be responding. She'll shake her head and pull her hand away from whatever dangerous thing she's bent on examining.

Then she looks at me. She grins.

. . . And does it again.

Sigh. I have an adorable imp of a daughter.

***

It brings to mind the blog series I wasn't able to finish. The last entry was about how we were just given the news that Oona, then called the Bean, was not attached to my womb securely. There was a threat that we could lose her.

***

The Clinic Chronicles: Part 6
Keeping The Bean

“It’s going to be okay.” The doctor said as she patted my hand. “Just keep on drinking the medicine and taking it easy, alright?”

I just nodded and thanked her as Mr. F helped me out the door. I wanted to escape so badly but needed to keep as much dignity I could muster.

Can you imagine how it’s like to swing from ecstasy to utter despair in the space of a few minutes? I could be schizoid for all I know, but given the circumstances, I would have a legitimate excuse. I now felt like a baseball bat walloped the back of my head, my throat was too tight, and my heart was too big for my chest.

It amazed me how these doctors could take on that kind of responsibility. They literally have their patients’ lives in their hands. They could make or break a person with a few words.

How do they handle it, facing mortality every day?

I think Mr. F and I just went on home afterwards. It was exhausting: exhilaration and the dregs in one unbeatable combination. We just ate something to dull the headachy feeling and talked.

We knew we wanted to keep the Beanie Baby, as the sprout was now called. I’ve stopped smoking (cold turkey since the day before), stopped drinking (last drop of alcohol was the week before), and we agreed that I’d have to stop the helter-skelter pace of my work life.

Curled up on our comforter, we cover random stuff, basically musing about how we would be parents. I wondered which of us would be the disciplinarian and the devil’s advocate. Of course, Mr. F claims to be the spoiler.

“You would be the Supreme Court. I’ll be the Court of Appeals!”

I scoffed at Mr. F.

Right. Like that’s going to happen.

***

Of course now, she's as rambunctious as they come and RF is the spoiler! Hehe!

Time flies so fast!

Mommyluscious Goes Mobile

I guess this is my equivalent of the little notebook where you scribble stuff for further elaboration, random thoughts and word doodles.

This is also my contribution to my advocacy as a green mom. I'll be using my PC less when I'm writing my blog drafts. I'll shut it down completely and just use my very capable, very versatile Nokia N95 8GB, publish via Opera Mini (through our WiFi) and edit later.

After all, my excellent DSL service is there to be used! Why not further maximize my resources while allowing myself more freedom AWAY from the desk? I made our DSL into a sweet WiFi deal with a simple router to make sure RF gets a connection anywhere in the house (while he's out smoking, in the living room, while in the loo...did i mention that I'm married to a workaholic? He always needs to check work email!)...So why not make it work for me too?

Especially nowadays, Oona's much more mobile and terribly pro-mommy, I can barely go anywhere without her toddling after me. True she's got her yaya but here's me feeling like others get to spend more time with my daughter than me, her own mother! She's growing up so fast that I'm afraid I might miss out on something while I'm cooped up in the room.

Blogging will always be there for me after all. I can put it off for later, when she's tucked in for the night, when she's bonding with her lola or dad, or she's being fussed over by her yaya. It's not like it's going anywhere, unlike Oona's childhood: so fleeting, so precious, so infinitely special.

I'm glad there are resources like these available to me. It makes me feel so spoiled as a new mom. I'm just thankful at how blessed I am to be able to choose to be there for Oona and still be able to do my own thing. Right now, i am writing this while Oona has her afternoon nap. She wouldn't go beddy-bye without me and would wake up should I try to get up. I am watching her gentle breathing and lovely face and can't think of anywhere else to be...or anything else more blog-worthy than her.

Hehe...I know I sound like I'm such a blog-addict! In truth, while I am building my on-line presence, blogging has afforded me a measure of sanity, an avenue for individual expression and a way to make sure my creative muscles don't atrophy. Especially now that I am technically a SAHM (stay at home mom), I need the extra-curricular activity. I used to be a workaholic too, you see. And while being a mom has a more frenetic, action-packed schedule, the periods of down time could drive a former career person nuts.

By this paragraph, Oona's been up for about two hours. I've fed her, bathed her, changed an incredibly smelly poopy diaper and am currently watching her play by herself. In the interim, I get to jot down a few thoughts here.

Not for long though. Oona doesn't let me off the hook that easily. As soon as she notices I'm sneaking in a few lines, she scoots on over and pounces on me!

So before she starts grabbing for my cellphone (bright shiny mom's toy!) or crying (because mom's cellphone is not a toy, Oona and I am not giving this to you!), I'll be signing out now to be my daughter's activity play center. :-) Later I'll be editing for final post, tags and adding pictures.

Sigh. I just love technology.

UP NAMING MAHAAAAL...The Meme

More on a reminiscing note and for UP students to grow misty-eyed over...

1. Student number
95-04292

2. College
College of Mass Communications

3. Course
BA Film and Audio Visual Communication...pamatay isulat sa Form 5. Absolutely kills me writing the whole thing.

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Overstaying. Kamuntik na ma-MRR (Maximum Residency Rule). Wala na raw nun ngayon?

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
Sa building tabi ng BA. Stat pa siya noon.

6. Favorite GE Subject?
Humanities.

7. Favorite PE?
The pool PE's. I just hated what the pool did to my hair. Or the fact that there would be frogs. Mega ligo ako after.

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
SECRET!!!

9. Favorite Prof/s?
My Prof in Anthro, Prof. Armi Vallejos Santiago for Photography/Thesis and Prof. Hammy Sotto.

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject?
Math, SocSci and NatSci.

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Yep. College was my time in the sun!

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Yep...Banahaw, Tagaytay...etc.

13. Naging CS or US ka ba sa UP?
Nope. I studied but I wasn't trying to compete with the other brains.

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP RPT Mutiny Batch '96; Cineaste yata

15. Saan ka tumatambay parati?
1st year: AS, FA, Sunken Garden
2nd year to 4th year: AS, CMC, UPRPT tambayan, Sunken Garden
5th year: Bahay Alumni

16. Dorm, boarding house or bahay?
Bahay.

17. Kung walang UPCAT at malaya kang makakapili ng course, anong pipiliin mo?
Fine Arts

18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Basta blockmates ko...sina Hilda, Crissy, Will, Odessa, Armin, Kat, Sharon, etc...

19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Dammit forgot na.

20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
Frats or soros ata, especially in AS. Meron din from BA. Law and Eng'g.

21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frat/soro in UP
FA for meeee.

22. May frat/soro ba na nagrecruit sa iyo?
Hinarang ng Nanay ko e. Tapos recently kong malaman na Frat/Soro people pala parents ko! Kaloka!

23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
Beach house sa likod ng Library, Casaa, Arcade, International Center...RODIC'S!

24. Masaya ba sa UP?
BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE.

25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
YUP

26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council?
ONCE is enough

27. Name at least five leftist groups in UP
STAND-UP, Alay Sining, League of Filipino Students, Gabriela, er...

28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Sus. I was just to happy to be there. I was determined to have fun.

29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay na patay sa UP?
Sa College of Fine Arts.

30. Kung 'di ka UP, anong school ka?
Honestly I wouldn't have been able to stand being in another school. Maybe if things were different, or di ako napunta ng UP, baka kaya ko pala. I just wanted to be in UP.

***
Photo courtesy of Butch Dalisay...

Die hard na kung die hard. Pero I love college. Most of my adventures happened then. I was also at my coolest...for this former high school wall-flower, college gave me so much freedom. I was free from the vagaries of high school girl cliques! Free to wear my retro clothes! Free to act contrary to norm (which of course made me fit in UP all the better, so ironic)!

Ah...and to have the future at your feet.

I want that for my daughter: the freedom to be who she wants to be without fear of prejudice, censure or scorn.

WITHIN REASON, of course. And provided she keeps me up to date.

This Mom wrote the book on collegiate adventuring (within reason). ---> uuy! disclaimer! kaloka!

My Time Capsule

Tagged by Mec

RULES:

1. Answer the question below:

If you are to leave an important memory, what would that be?

I can't help it! I have to put this and my baby popot, Oona! If only just to prove that miracles do happen and plans, even if they don't go the way you want them to, ultimately has a better way of turning out. Yes! Falling in love and having a family wasn't in my plans. But here I am! Loving every minute of it!
Made this for our 7th Valentine's Day together. "Celebrating Evolution" was how RF described holding hands. "Imagine," he had said casually while walking around during our spare-change dates, "The dinosaurs died and gave way for humans to evolve through the ages, to this point in time, to us. To something so simple (but infinitely meaningful) as holding hands..."

I melted. Here I was, no newbie to the lines guys spout off and I just melted. It was certainly the most original and it struck me two ways at once: straight to my brain and my heart. I think that was the most romantic thing anyone ever said to me. A bit on the brainy-geeky side, but so what? I think it was then that I really knew I was totally into the guy. To this day, I don't know if he knew what an impact that made on me.

And the surprise Christmas child! She's our late Christmas present, supposedly conceived around Christmas time. I found out I was pregnant a few days after New Year. Sometimes I can't believe she's mine! Never, in all my dreams did I even see her coming. Being a wife is an adventure, but being a mother...ibang lebel na ito! It's a whole different dimension altogether.

I know I'm supposed to put just one, but one cannot do without the other for me. My hubby and my baby are the memories I have that are forever intertwined and inseparable. They are as one.

2. Copy the entire list and add your name below the person who tagged you. Then tag at least 5 friends (But you can tag as many as you like) and visit their blog to let them know you tagged them.

Bloggers who shared their important memories 1.)Kaptyurd 2.)and so I am 3.)Princess Vien 4.)Princess Bela 5.)Our Journey to Life 6.)My Planet Purple 7.)Women Xplore 8.)Crazy, Happy ARevalos 9.)MEComposing 10.)Hope This Helps You 11.) Mommyluscious 12.)add your site here

I am tagging Rei, Jonas, Johnny, and Pheng!

tip: to easily get the url, right click on this page, click on VIEW SOURCE... and just ctrl F on the keywords that you'd copy... ahehe

THANKFULLY BLESSED LIST: FRIENDS

4. Friends

New ones and old ones, the ones that remain through it all. Pressure counts for a lot, makes diamonds and breaks coals.

I'm thankful for this time, and all the other chapters in my life when something highly intense happens. I am shown what my friends are made of and who they are. Adversity brings out the worst in people, it's true. But it's when the best in people shine the brightest.

I am thankful, deeply grateful for the blessings that have come my way through these people; who, but for a chance meeting or quirk of circumstance, would have been total strangers, not bound to me by blood or other, more tangible relation.

These people are the ones who restore my faith in the human race; replenishing the hope that maybe the world is not going to end anytime soon, that the spark of human kindness continues to burn in the heart of this cut-throat, modern civilization.

You guys know who you are. And in case I haven't told you enough, THANK YOU.

***

Thus ends my THANKFUL series. Of course there are a lot of other things I'm thankful for. The experiences, for example. I've been taught a lot of things over periods like these. But above all, these are the things I'm truly thankful for.

What are YOU thankful for? Have you conted your blessings lately?

THANKFULLY BLESSED LIST: FAMILY

3. Family

It's a classic scenario. Growing up, we wish we had different parents, different siblings, different upbringing, different households...different anything from what you have at the moment. Ad nauseam.

You swear you'll never do it like your parents did and are horrified by the saying that we all grow up to be our parents. We have sibling rivalries. We ignore some, fight some, rival some. But when you finally grow up, certain things fall into place. You realize that no matter what, someone's got your back.

Of course it's a given that you all love each other (to each his own way of loving, though). Growing up begins to take away the cringe-worthiness of expression little by little. It's easier to reach out, easier to understand. It's easier to recognize the bonds that hold you to the family that bore you.

They say this happens especially when you have a child of your own. I agree. I still draw the line at becoming my parents but for all I know, I just might turn out that way (which one, I wouldn't know). I'll probably have to ask my daughter (and other children, hopefully) when we get to the stage when we're finally not killing each other over curfew.