THANKFULLY BLESSED LIST: MY HUBBY

2. My husband, my true love.

RF and I never meant to become a couple. It's still a source of wonder, joy and amazement for me that we've lasted this long. I'm not bored nor tired of being with him. If anything, I need and want more of him to myself as a wife, his partner and best friend. I need and want more of him for our family as a Father and haligi ng tahanan as the saying goes, because he's doing it so well. If I am the Mother, the light of the home, he is our foundation, strong, firm, and holding us together, as lovingly as only he can.

We miss that he works nights and for extended shifts. But through it, he does more than enough to make sure that we are a family. It's a side of him that began to emerge from our early days as a newly-wedded couple; emerged in full at Oona's birth and continues to amaze me as we continue growing through experiences and situations as a family.

Sometimes, I wonder, in a fit of nostalgic disbelief, how and why I find myself married, with a child and all but domesticated. I had no plans for this, nor did I dream of it.

Then, when I look at the two of my most beloved sleeping amidst a sea of toys, baby bottles and blankets in a glorious mess, I am thankful and relieved for this undreamed of present-future.

WELCOME TO MY BRAND NEW LAYOUT!

So will someone pop the cork from a good bottle of wine?

Hooray! Hooray!

I am SO proud! This entire blog layout was the fruit of my labors. I managed to wade through indecipherable xml and long-forgotten html for the sake of tweaking the basic Stretch Minima Template to this little baby!

I am SO good. *smugness*

Fine, for all you geeks out there, this may be nothing. But demmit, I DID IT! I shake my fist at the coding gods! I had help, of course, but in defiance of dem coding gods, I tweaked and tweaked!

WHOOOOP-DEE-DOOOOO!!!

Of course, I still have to fix the header image, but that can wait 'til I get to the other things I put off for today to finish this coding.

I am SO gooooood! Anybody want me to do their blogs now? Heehee.

BLOG MAINTENANCE GOING ON!

Sorry for the inconvenience! I'm currently wrestling with html and xml code as of the moment.

I should be done in a few hours...as soon as I finish HTML for Dummies.

Bleh.

THANKFULLY BLESSED LIST: OONA

As promised.

There, but for the grace of God, go I; as the adage goes.

I was feeling terribly down yesterday and because I refuse to totally succumb to a black mood, it got me to counting my blessings. I'll be posting this as a series as it's too long to post in one go!

1. My child.

Oona was an unexpected Christmas present.

Every time I see her antics and her four-toothed smile, I can't help but feel wonderfully, totally blessed. While maybe it's true that a child at her age can't help but love the people she's with (if they are capable of categorizing things like this at this age), babies and children in general, seem to have that infinite capacity to love.

They're so intense.

A smile, brilliant as the sun, as good as yells, I LOVE YOU! All caps, bold and underlined. With little flashing lights and a big red arrow. It's as intense when they cry, of course. But it's amazing how, when you're the focus of that smile, your whole world stops, flowers bloom and sappy as it's getting, but you can swear that angels laugh along with her.

ON A DOWN-SWING

It's been three months since I quit work. And while I refuse to give satisfaction to people who would love for me to make a mess they would glory in, I am just plain exhausted.

Exhausted, that most of the hard work we put into ventures and people gave us poor returns and betrayals. Exhausted, that there doesn't seem to be a pay-off in sight. Exhausted, that our budget needs augmenting but there's nothing from my end coming in yet and the bills folder on my desk is beginning to burn. Exhausted, that there's nothing I can do about it for the most part.

I know. This too shall pass.

I'm trying my darnest best to stay positive and keep the faith. But sometimes, I am so near to losing it. People aren't always as nice and generous of heart as we'd love to think. This is not an ideal world where neighbors greet each other by name because they really like each other. Kids can't play on the streets without fear of getting run over or swiped to white slavery by strangers for whom the death penalty is too kind for what they do. And money doesn't rain from the sky or grow from trees.

Such a morbid train of thought I have today. It's all I can do not to just bury my head in the sand, waiting for the world to show me a brighter day.

If only wishes could come true at a time like this. I suppose though, there would be a price to pay for it, just so the universe would be in balance.

Hay, susme. Why do we always wax philosophical when we're in the pits?

Anyhoo, there are a lot of things I truly am grateful and thankful for. Indeedy. But today, I'll indulge my melancholy for a bit.

Tomorrow is soon enough to list all the nice things I'm blessed with.

Tomorrow.