Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ON A DOWN-SWING

It's been three months since I quit work. And while I refuse to give satisfaction to people who would love for me to make a mess they would glory in, I am just plain exhausted.

Exhausted, that most of the hard work we put into ventures and people gave us poor returns and betrayals. Exhausted, that there doesn't seem to be a pay-off in sight. Exhausted, that our budget needs augmenting but there's nothing from my end coming in yet and the bills folder on my desk is beginning to burn. Exhausted, that there's nothing I can do about it for the most part.

I know. This too shall pass.

I'm trying my darnest best to stay positive and keep the faith. But sometimes, I am so near to losing it. People aren't always as nice and generous of heart as we'd love to think. This is not an ideal world where neighbors greet each other by name because they really like each other. Kids can't play on the streets without fear of getting run over or swiped to white slavery by strangers for whom the death penalty is too kind for what they do. And money doesn't rain from the sky or grow from trees.

Such a morbid train of thought I have today. It's all I can do not to just bury my head in the sand, waiting for the world to show me a brighter day.

If only wishes could come true at a time like this. I suppose though, there would be a price to pay for it, just so the universe would be in balance.

Hay, susme. Why do we always wax philosophical when we're in the pits?

Anyhoo, there are a lot of things I truly am grateful and thankful for. Indeedy. But today, I'll indulge my melancholy for a bit.

Tomorrow is soon enough to list all the nice things I'm blessed with.

Tomorrow.

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