Oona said it in such a clear, small voice with the simple sadness as can only come from a child. I suppose my heart will just keep on breaking whenever I recall how forlorn she looked, complete with trembling lower lip and tear-filled eyes.
I sometimes forget how much of a baby she still is and that she still drinks from a bottle.
She amazes me so much, each and every day.
It's my fault she also says she's sad a lot these days. I know I'm tired all the time and I've been caring for Olly more than I've been able to attend to Oona. It's no excuse. It's not that I've been neglecting her, I just don't have as much time, energy and patience as I used to. I know that other moms are busier but are successful at the balancing act but I'm just barely keeping it together.
I really wish I could split myself in two equal parts now that Oona's growing up and simply exploding with energy, questions, new ideas and emotions. I really wish my powers could extend my physical, emotional and intellectual stamina to encompass both of the girls. I really wish I could change relationship gears at lightning speed between adult, toddler and infant. I really wish there was more of me to go around. The BEST of me always.
But right now I feel really horrible. I'm such an ogre when I lose my temper. I yell, I lash out. I can be such a bitch. Yes, to a three year old.
Now this same forlorn little girl just carefully covered me up, sharing her big blanket because she knows it's cold and my feet freezes. Then she snuggles up to me under the covers and says she wants to hug.
I really, really, REALLY feel guilty now.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
How's Your Baby Sleeping? And Free Gift From J&J :)
Oona and Olly hadn't been sleeping well lately due to their recent bout with the cold bug that seems to be going around. What helped them through the nights of stuffy noses, occasional fevers and general discomfort was a drawn out bedtime routine. That, and a lot of paglalambing. You know how it when anyone's are sick, they really love being babied! :D
Now that they're better, the bedtime routine is somewhat back to its normal pace. Some quiet play before washing up or a bath (depends on their level of activity before bedtime), brushing teeth (for Oona), change them into pajamas, a fresh diaper for Olly and then our lights are dimmed. Sometimes Oona picks a book to read with me or we just lie down talking about the day quietly while Olly rolls around, expending the last of her energy and winding herself down. Then Oona has a small bottle of watered-down milk to drink (I'm gently weaning her from having it at nighttime) and Olly breastfeeds, both nodding gently off to sleep as we cuddle all smooshed together in bed.
I really appreciate that I have all the help I can get from everyone around me and everything I use to help them feel better really works. There's the aciete alcamforado, the aciete manzanilla and the J&J Baby Bedtime Wash and Oil. The scents relax me too so all of us are more relaxed before floating off to sleep and we wake up really refreshed in the morning.
Yes, I could do with longer sleep myself. But without the help I get, I can't imagine how much more frazzled I'd be and how much the quality of sleep my babies get would suffer.
To help J&J, please participate in this survey for all moms concerned with products for our babies. There's even stuff to be had at the end! :)
Now that they're better, the bedtime routine is somewhat back to its normal pace. Some quiet play before washing up or a bath (depends on their level of activity before bedtime), brushing teeth (for Oona), change them into pajamas, a fresh diaper for Olly and then our lights are dimmed. Sometimes Oona picks a book to read with me or we just lie down talking about the day quietly while Olly rolls around, expending the last of her energy and winding herself down. Then Oona has a small bottle of watered-down milk to drink (I'm gently weaning her from having it at nighttime) and Olly breastfeeds, both nodding gently off to sleep as we cuddle all smooshed together in bed.
I really appreciate that I have all the help I can get from everyone around me and everything I use to help them feel better really works. There's the aciete alcamforado, the aciete manzanilla and the J&J Baby Bedtime Wash and Oil. The scents relax me too so all of us are more relaxed before floating off to sleep and we wake up really refreshed in the morning.
Yes, I could do with longer sleep myself. But without the help I get, I can't imagine how much more frazzled I'd be and how much the quality of sleep my babies get would suffer.
To help J&J, please participate in this survey for all moms concerned with products for our babies. There's even stuff to be had at the end! :)
 |
| CLICK! :) |
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The OLAY Woman
Strong, resourceful, driven but never forgetting to be a lady, beautiful inside and out. That is the Olay woman to me.
My grandmother, apart from having a glass bottle of Oil of Olay on her vanity before I was even born, is a fighter, a survivor and above all, a lady in every sense of the word. She grew up during the Japanese Occupation, orphaned when her mother was shot crossing a river with wares she was to sell on the other side. Relatives brought her and her siblings up and educated her. She was also the local beauty queen until showing a streak of daring, she eloped with and married my grandfather. She said it was not much of a scandal in those days and that the elopement was prepared for by everyone. When my grandfather brought her to his mother's house, all she had to do was put on the prepared wedding gown and go to church in it!
She was also a true entrepreneur, holding a puwesto at the Monumento market selling dry goods and operating a canteen. She was a byahera, travelling by boat to buy premium items in Hong Kong, transporting them here and selling them. Clothes, fabric, make-up, perfumes, around the 60's I guess that was when she first picked up Oil of Olay, as it was known back then. She was able to send all her 7 children to school, help her husband, my grandfather, purchase land, build their house and live a life of modest, debt-free means.
Through long, grueling days and late nights at the palengke, my lola nevertheless kept herself fresh and beautiful. She may be tired or her surroundings weren't exactly glamorous, but I don't remember a time when she wasn't neatly dressed, powdered, smelling like flowers and smiling with painted lips. My lola was neat, simple and proper but always pustura. Even as she grew old and stopped travelling. Even as she gave up her spot in the market. Even as we would just visit her at home, she would always be simply dressed but powdered, lipsticked and smelling so nice and fresh.
I actually remember her when I think about Olay, as it is now simply known. She had a nightly beauty routine which included gently massaging her face with the pink beauty fluid. I was supposed to be writing about my Olay experience but I can't help writing about my grandmother or even my mother, for that matter, since my experience encompasses theirs.
My mother naman is just as driven as my grandmother, her mom. To help augment my father's income while raising us five kids, she took a leaf from my grandmother's book and sold stuff as well. She did school bazaars, operated a school jeep, even sold jewelry for a time. I remember how tiring it must have been for her. But she must have inherited her strength from my grandmother along with her beauty routine!
Apart from being pustura like my grandmother, I noticed how every night, my mother would put Olay on her face. On heavy make up days, she might even use it to remove her make up. I remember, as a child, I'd be so curious about that glass bottle with the pink cream that I'd open and smell it every time my mom wasn't around. I really loved that smell. The bottle, pink beauty fluid, the scent, the Olay name became a symbol of womanhood as much as make up and high heels were. I knew I was continuing tradition and becoming a woman as soon as I had that bottle of moisturizing lotion on my adolescent vanity.
Feeling and being beautiful in these modern times is made even easier by technology. I'm glad that this time, tradition is easier to celebrate. Olay came out recently with a new line of truly luscious soap bars! Now, I can have the luxury of the Olay experience all over my body! I had understood that the lotion was a luxury for the face and hands so I carried the habit of using Olay sparingly. But now, I can literally bathe in it!
I still consider myself a new mother even if I'm on my 2nd child. I can't even begin to compare myself to veterans like my mother, let alone my grandmother. Even with help from family (because we don't have a nanny or a maid) I still feel like I'm drowning in babies, diapers and milk everyday! I seriously don't know how they did it. In lipstick, no less! And they were able to put in a beauty routine every night! I'm lucky if I get 10 seconds to go to the potty all by myself! So you can bet my beauty routine is non-existent by now.
That's why the new Olay soap bars are such a blessing. I can bathe, refresh myself and pamper my entire body with the Olay beauty routine simultaneously! Maybe someday I'll learn how the mothers before me achieved balance between caring for their families and caring for themselves. Until then, I'm only too glad to be able to indulge myself with the Olay soap bars. It's like I'm swimming in the Olay beauty fluid every time.
(1) Green OLAY Fresh Reviving. It goes beyond cleansing, delivering OLAY deep moisturizers to the skin while helping to wash away dry surface cells. So after you dry off, all that's left is skin that feels clean and revived.
(2) Orange OLAY Ultra Moisture is specially formulated with creamy, OLAY lather and Shea Butter. It goes beyond cleansing, delivering OLAY deep moisturizers to the skin while helping to wash away dry surface cells. So after you dry off, all that's left is skin that feels clean and petal soft.
(3) Blue OLAY Age Defying Bar. Each bar is formulated with creamy, OLAY lather.
These OLAY soaps are gentle enough to use on your face.You can try everything and see which OLAY bar is for you.
We all still use Olay. There are a lot out there to try but we keep coming back to this beauty fluid to keep our skin soft and beautiful.And with their full range of skin care, skin LOVE products, it's easier to be a strong, beautiful woman, inside and out.
My grandmother, apart from having a glass bottle of Oil of Olay on her vanity before I was even born, is a fighter, a survivor and above all, a lady in every sense of the word. She grew up during the Japanese Occupation, orphaned when her mother was shot crossing a river with wares she was to sell on the other side. Relatives brought her and her siblings up and educated her. She was also the local beauty queen until showing a streak of daring, she eloped with and married my grandfather. She said it was not much of a scandal in those days and that the elopement was prepared for by everyone. When my grandfather brought her to his mother's house, all she had to do was put on the prepared wedding gown and go to church in it!
 |
| My grandmother, the beauty queen! |
Through long, grueling days and late nights at the palengke, my lola nevertheless kept herself fresh and beautiful. She may be tired or her surroundings weren't exactly glamorous, but I don't remember a time when she wasn't neatly dressed, powdered, smelling like flowers and smiling with painted lips. My lola was neat, simple and proper but always pustura. Even as she grew old and stopped travelling. Even as she gave up her spot in the market. Even as we would just visit her at home, she would always be simply dressed but powdered, lipsticked and smelling so nice and fresh.
I actually remember her when I think about Olay, as it is now simply known. She had a nightly beauty routine which included gently massaging her face with the pink beauty fluid. I was supposed to be writing about my Olay experience but I can't help writing about my grandmother or even my mother, for that matter, since my experience encompasses theirs.
 |
| My mother on my youngest sister's baptismal. |
.jpg) |
| Alas. I could not find a picture of the old Oil of Olay bottles so I'm making do with these. |
Feeling and being beautiful in these modern times is made even easier by technology. I'm glad that this time, tradition is easier to celebrate. Olay came out recently with a new line of truly luscious soap bars! Now, I can have the luxury of the Olay experience all over my body! I had understood that the lotion was a luxury for the face and hands so I carried the habit of using Olay sparingly. But now, I can literally bathe in it!
I still consider myself a new mother even if I'm on my 2nd child. I can't even begin to compare myself to veterans like my mother, let alone my grandmother. Even with help from family (because we don't have a nanny or a maid) I still feel like I'm drowning in babies, diapers and milk everyday! I seriously don't know how they did it. In lipstick, no less! And they were able to put in a beauty routine every night! I'm lucky if I get 10 seconds to go to the potty all by myself! So you can bet my beauty routine is non-existent by now.
That's why the new Olay soap bars are such a blessing. I can bathe, refresh myself and pamper my entire body with the Olay beauty routine simultaneously! Maybe someday I'll learn how the mothers before me achieved balance between caring for their families and caring for themselves. Until then, I'm only too glad to be able to indulge myself with the Olay soap bars. It's like I'm swimming in the Olay beauty fluid every time.
(2) Orange OLAY Ultra Moisture is specially formulated with creamy, OLAY lather and Shea Butter. It goes beyond cleansing, delivering OLAY deep moisturizers to the skin while helping to wash away dry surface cells. So after you dry off, all that's left is skin that feels clean and petal soft.
(3) Blue OLAY Age Defying Bar. Each bar is formulated with creamy, OLAY lather.
These OLAY soaps are gentle enough to use on your face.You can try everything and see which OLAY bar is for you.
We all still use Olay. There are a lot out there to try but we keep coming back to this beauty fluid to keep our skin soft and beautiful.And with their full range of skin care, skin LOVE products, it's easier to be a strong, beautiful woman, inside and out.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I'm A Believer
The wonderful people of Nuffnang and Yehey! invited me and other moms to participate in the Bedtime Discoveries of J&J. For the first few events, I was sadly unable to go as I was 1. Near my due date! 2. In labor, and 3. Recovering! Lolz :D How incredible was that? I heard it was really fun and the events were a success.
Fortunately, I was able to catch the very last event celebrating the value of good sleep in babies' growth and development. I was able to see some of my friends, make new ones and feel assured that I AM on the right track concerning the steps I take to ensure my girls get a good night's rest.
 |
| Mommy Leirs, whom I haven't seen for over a year! |
 |
| Pretty Mommy Erlyn and Mommy Leirs! |
 |
| Oops! Someone took Mommy Erlyn's pic and the flash was too bright! Olly's thought bubble seems to be, "Whut?" |
 |
| The complete Bedtime line! We got the Bedtime bath, lotion and powder :) Yay! I wasn't able to take a pic of my swag though as I had my hands full with Olly :D |
I've always been a J&J baby so now that I have kids of my own, I use J&J on them too. Of course there wasn't a Bedtime line in my infancy but the principle of touch therapy and bedtime routines have been part of the family tradition for as long as I can remember. It's reassuring and refreshing to know that tradition is fully supported by science and modern studies. What makes this routine even more special is the influence of aromatherapy in the formulation of this line. Lavender does have a calming property and its essential oil is good for the skin. Perfect for babies, toddlers and me too! :)
Go to http://www.babycenter.com.ph/bedtime, people! Find out more about what good sleep can do for your kids. Check if you're already doing it! :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Moving To The Front Row
Change seems to be the theme for the rest of the year for me. Not just any change, mind you. Significant ones.
While I've had many, many changes in my life, both big and small, I can only count a few that I've truly decided upon, taken charge of and did not just leave up to fate.
When Oona blew out the candles for her 3rd birthday last August 15, I couldn't help feeling that my baby was growing up too fast for me! Huffy puffy Mommy trying desperately to catch up with her mile-a-minute mind, rapid-fire questions and road-runner legs. Let's not forget 6 month old butterball Olly, challenging time and human evolution by constantly trying to crawl and stand ahead of schedule and fly off the bed, in defiance of gravity. It takes all the mommy powers I can muster to last the day with these two bundles of energy! So as Oona's candles poofed out, the idea of a change that MUST happen flared to life. I wanted to be more involved in the laughter and fun in their lives. I don't want to just exist from chore to chore, duty to duty, stretching what I had to cover what needed to be done for the kids. I wanted to have more out of the relationship we share. I didn't want to be too tired to enjoy being with them.
Really, most days, I'm too pooped to be fun, I'm short-tempered and more of an ogre than I care to admit. Sound familiar, anyone?
Like most mothers, our priorities revolve around the kids, our husbands and partners, our families. We put ourselves, by default, in second, third and even last place. But our roles, quite by paradox, always demand that we be at the front line of everything for the family. Yes, like soldiers.
We barely even have time for ourselves like we used to because there's the guilt that every available time and attention should be invested in the kids, the husband and the family or else you're not being a good wife or mother.
That's not fair, is it? Does that sound like your internal dialogue?
Let's be realistic. We can't expect others to take care of us. It would be great, yes! But we have to take the initiative to do things for ourselves. We can't expect martyrdom or a shaft of light from heaven transforming us into perfection. You'd have to be dead, I think and I want to be alive to enjoy myself.
In a nutshell, I want enough of me to go around and have something left for ME. I don't want to feel run down
anymore because I should be enjoying myself and the time I have with the kids. I know they won't be babies for long and sooner than I would like to, they'll be spreading their wings to fly solo. So for a change, I think I ought to put myself in the front row of my life, our family's life!
I want more. I want the place of privilege I know I deserve.
To be there not just as a frontliner at the trenches, but sitting pretty, joining in the fun and laughter, making good, happy memories, watching my kids and my family bloom and grow from my plush front row seat.
I am daring to be in front.
While I've had many, many changes in my life, both big and small, I can only count a few that I've truly decided upon, taken charge of and did not just leave up to fate.
 |
| Oona, Olly and Mommy |
Really, most days, I'm too pooped to be fun, I'm short-tempered and more of an ogre than I care to admit. Sound familiar, anyone?
Like most mothers, our priorities revolve around the kids, our husbands and partners, our families. We put ourselves, by default, in second, third and even last place. But our roles, quite by paradox, always demand that we be at the front line of everything for the family. Yes, like soldiers.
We barely even have time for ourselves like we used to because there's the guilt that every available time and attention should be invested in the kids, the husband and the family or else you're not being a good wife or mother.
That's not fair, is it? Does that sound like your internal dialogue?
Let's be realistic. We can't expect others to take care of us. It would be great, yes! But we have to take the initiative to do things for ourselves. We can't expect martyrdom or a shaft of light from heaven transforming us into perfection. You'd have to be dead, I think and I want to be alive to enjoy myself.
In a nutshell, I want enough of me to go around and have something left for ME. I don't want to feel run down
anymore because I should be enjoying myself and the time I have with the kids. I know they won't be babies for long and sooner than I would like to, they'll be spreading their wings to fly solo. So for a change, I think I ought to put myself in the front row of my life, our family's life!
I want more. I want the place of privilege I know I deserve.
To be there not just as a frontliner at the trenches, but sitting pretty, joining in the fun and laughter, making good, happy memories, watching my kids and my family bloom and grow from my plush front row seat.
I am daring to be in front.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)