A Tag and A Quick, Random Update

From Emz! Thanks sis! Now I have to tag ten other bloggers...I'll be updating this as soon as I can.

The Rules:

1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names.
3. Don't forget to leave them comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog (soon).

Meanwhile...

It's 1:23AM and I'm kinda bummed. Oona's asleep, the bottles are sterilized and prepared for tomorrow, house is quiet and I'm bored. This is what I get for napping with Oona earlier. I don't get sleepy enough to go to bed when she does. Friends are asleep and hubby is in Brazil right now, attending to his office duties so I got no one to bug. He called earlier and I can tell he really misses us. We really miss him. Oona takes to asking "Daddy?" every time the front gate chimes ring, when she hears a voice sounding like his or even when she smells cigarette smoke. She even checks the garage if he's just hiding. It breaks my heart to see my little girl missing him even when she doesn't know what she's feeling.

Sure she's still happy and rambunctious but she knows something's missing. Or rather, someone. It's almost a relief to know she's still too young to realize Dad's been gone for about a week now. I don't think I'll be able to take the heartbreak if she cries for him and he can't come to her. I refuse to think what could happen if he doesn't see her for a year. Some kids forget, I know. That makes me think about all the OFWs out there who have kids at home. I know the staying parents do all they can to keep the memory alive with pictures, phone calls and frequent webcam dates. You have to marvel at technology, how it has worked to keep the love alive. For the kids, it's important for them to know that love can reach across space. 

And for us adults, it's even more important to keep the faith that love can survive across the time that stretches between the physical instances of being together. It can get lonely. Like now. Maybe that's why I can't go to sleep. I miss him, I even miss getting cranky and pissed off at him for weird reasons. Maybe that'll teach me not to be so cross and picky with him, after all, he really is malambing and I'm really just a cross, old fart. Or maybe not? 

Hay.

It's just been a week and I probably shouldn't miss him so much. After all, what's our separation compared to people who raise families countries apart?  Sometimes I think I'm just not as strong as other women out there. Other moms hack it on their own, with OFW husbands or as single parents. I know they're able to cope because they have to for their children and their own sanity's sake. My admiration and respect for these women have only steadily increased since I gave birth to Oona. It's incredible how they have managed the intense physical, emotional and mental demands of parenthood by themselves. Along with this, my admiration for mothers (including my own, but don't tell her that or I'll never live it down! :D) has grown tremendously. Just comparing my own experiences to others...it's incredible how mothers make way for their kids and families. Even at the expense of their own plans. 

Well, trading one future for another isn't so bad when you think about what you're getting by way of velcro hugs ("'ag! 'ag!") and sticky kisses. Oh, and when she simultanously calls me and requests to go wherever it is I'm going ("Mamo!"), I could take her to the moon for all it would cost!

Anyway...I was missing RF early this post. Now, I think I'll go upstairs and cuddle up to my sleeping bundle of half his DNA. Maybe I'll only just partly miss him then.

ABC's of Mommyluscious

Thanks to Joanne for this meme! Sorry took so long! :D

A. Attached or single ? — Attached to RF for life!

B. Best friend? — Top two are Rei and Jonas

C. Cake or pie? — Cake on occasions, pie on ordinary comfort food days.

D. Day of choice? — Sunday. Such a lazy day!

E. Essential item? — can't live without my celfone! with a rambunctious child, emergencies happen! 

F. Favorite color? — wine red/burgundy!

G. Gummy bears or worms? — Green and the pale yellow gummy bears 

H. Hometown? — Quezon City

I. Favorite indulgence? — brigitte bardot night! perfume, lingerie and hot scented baths with pasta, wine and chocolate mousse

J. January or July? — January, most definitely!

K. Kids? — One kulit little cutie!

L. Life isn’t complete without? — My family, God's gift to me!

M. Marriage date ? — Sept. 17, 2005

N. Number of magazine subscriptions? — None

O. Orange or apple? — Depends...i like fresh orange juice and apple juice but i dislike peeling the oranges and biting into the apples.

P. Phobias? — i HATE needles.

Q. Quotes? — You only live once!

R. Reasons to smile? — Hubby, family, true friends: Gifts of the Goddess!

S. Season of choice? — Christmas and Summer!

T. Tag 5 people — Rei, Jonas...still thinking!!!

U. Unknown fact about me?— I wanted to be an astronaut.

V. Vegetable ? — Anything that can be put in a salad.

W. Worst habit? — picking at my cuticles til they bleed. it's stress-related.

X. X-ray or ultrasound? — Ultrasound...more interesting. Though X-ray is much less invasive!

Y. Your favorite food(s)? — Cook it, i'll eat it, then I'll decide if i like it! Basta pagkain, madali akong kausap! :D Pero ultra favorite food ko according to my husband is anything with rice! HAHAHAHA!

Z. Zodiac sign — Aquarius! Ang sign na kulang-kulang! 

Living with the In-Laws

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've updated my blog. Or checked my email, for that matter: Inbox Unread 855! Mostly newsletters but the odd email from friends show how behind the times I am (They broke up?!...A few letters later, Oh they're planning the wedding now.) The only reason I'm able to write this and the precious three entries I had posted is, as of writing, 1. It's Sunday. 2. Oona is with hubby and his set of family and 3. I have my parents' computer, and myself, all to myself. For a few hours at least! And then, I'm time-releasing this along with my other posts.

Since end of January, RF, Oona and I have been living at my parents' home. We were living in our own apartment with RF's mom, but we've all since decided to separate households. So now, while we're looking for two new places to live for ourselves and for mom-in-law to move to, we're bunking in with my side of the family. Besides, the one we are currently living in is simply too big to maintain for a small family and our needs are minimal. Oona is growing up so we really have to think of how to streamline our finances to accomodate her future needs. This early I'm already contemplating about where to send her to school and if RF and I can afford to buy a shotgun each for her teen years. 

So while the hunt continues, we are bunking at my parents' house. If we can't find a place for our little trio, we might have to stay here until our Beacon condo unit is completed in a year. However, while I love being with family, and Oona's antics keep my parents young, I really recommend having a place of your own. There are lessons to be learned of course, if you are open to it, while living with your budding family under your parents' roof. But it's always better to have your own space. 

You know what they say: A man's home is his castle. Visiting kings can't be lording it. We're so lucky that neither my father or my hubby have any issues with eachother, but I do know that others are not as blessed. There's the hiya factor for one. Even if my parents already think of RF as their son, there's still the feeling that you can't be as free as you would like to be with your actions than if you're in your own home. It's not bad, you are better behaved than you ever were and when you get used to it, you find yourself a lot more refined than when you let it all hang.

The equivalent for me is that there can't be two queens in one castle. My mother and I may agree on a lot of things now that i'm older and less of a bitchy teenager, but there are still things that we disagree on. Both of us certainly have different ways of doing and seeing things. I understand that better now, after all, it's her house and I would most likely be like that in my own space. Maybe it's easier for me than others because my mom and i are related, so we can tolerate each other's nuances of character. Of course, getting along for two people, related or unrelated, will only be as hard as the concerned parties make it. In the end, what's important is you all try your best to treat everyone with courtesy and respect. 

One more thing, intimacy may be a problem especially if there's not enough room in the house. We don't have our own room right now because my parents tore down the entire third floor where there was space enough for up to three bedrooms. This was back when most of us kids had flown the coop and they needed the space to make a sound proof studio for a children's show they were doing. So now, we're refugees on the 2nd floor, camped out on my parent's room. The guys get the floor mattresses and us girls get the beds. Thank god it's a big room and with the aircon and cable tv, very comfortable! My little sister also sleeps here and any of my brothers whenever they're in town. (Yes, it's a pretty big room.) 

While it's like a big sleepover after lights out with all the yakking and giggling we do in the dark, it can get lonely and I can only hold hands with the hubby on the floor and I'm on the bed next to Oona, in the middle of a gaggle of people. Even if my parents aren't prudes, we're not about to sneak off in dark corners or broom closets for a quickie. I agree it sounds exciting, but there are just some things we're not comfortable with. Maybe being legit makes the adventure aspect fall a little flat? But definitely, being in a house with little privacy left for fooling around puts a kink in our romance (not even the good kinda kink). Well, when I discreetly brought up the subject to discreetly lobby for some space (we'll take the storage room!), my mom said that maybe we just lack creativity. Then to my utmost horror and mortification, she proceeded to enumerate where and when one can be naughty. Before I got seriously disturbed, I was able to change the subject. Whatever the case may be, I still can't openly talk about my sex life with my mother. It's just a wee bit disturbing. 

Distinct advantage though! It's probably the best birth control ever! Not that I don't want any kids after Oona, but I do want a bit of space between them for health and sanity purposes.  

Living with in-laws has let us see household-running with fresh eyes. RF and I have to develop our own way of things, but it clearly has to be between him and me to build the rock-solid foundation for our future to stand on. Meanwhile, we are learning and growing as parents and as life-partners. With or without the extra space. >:) There's always Victoria Court anyway! Beats a dark corner anytime. Hehe.

I got a Sparkly Award!

thanks to janis for this award!

MY TEN RANDOM FACTS

i been parpolised by an award! thanks to tintintetay for this :D

Here are the rules:
- Each blogger must post these rules.
- Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
- Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves.
- You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and also to read your blog.


okay...random facts about me:

1. i used to climb a lot as a kid: trees, walls, rooftops, cabinets, etc. you name it, i've been up on it first and fastest. i taught my brothers to do it and never had a fall. we'd gauge a wall, spotting hand/foot holds and the best route to take to a perch and just launch up. sometimes to get from one place to another, we'd have to climb one end of a wall and balance beam to the other end. nevermind if it was a twelve-foot drop on either side for a scrawny kid. our parents and neighbors gave up on trying to make us stay down and just prayed we never had an accident. my philosophy was, i didn't climb anything i couldn't stay on top of. i hated getting hurt and having to go to the hospital, so that was incentive enough for me to be good at what i did. but sadly, the glory days of height were soon over when my mother figured out she could put us to good use cleaning the rain drains of leaves and overripe fruit that fell from the trees towering above our rooftops. it wasn't so much fun after that. haha.

2. i hate needles. the kind that they stick in you at the hospital. i am deathly afraid of something happening while they stick me with the needles and they rip out my veins. with all due respect to everyone in the medical profession, i am just afraid. i pleaded with the nurses and my doctors to be gentle when i was giving birth and they wer putting on the dextrose. but oh, lucky me...they had to give me shots almost every other hour with different medicines because i was hypertensive, going 180/100. the bad part of it was i've never had so many needles stuck in me in my entire life! i felt like a pincushion! and i hate needles!

3. i can live on books. i can lock myself in my room with books to read and just go out to eat, do my girly business and go back to reading. i can not talk to people for an indefinite period of time as long as i have a good book. yes. i am a bookworm of the worst kind. i was banned from the library as a child for reading too much. they told me to go outside and play. i was like, what? get dirty and scabby while all those books are begging to be read? worlds are waiting to be discovered and explored! and they said yeah, nice try. go play... so i went. and got caught in the cross-fire of a water balloon fight. to think i was wearing my nice pink dress and white stockings. dammet. i went back and got a book and read in a quiet corner of the playground.

4. i played cards for money in college. not all the time, just whenever i'd REALLY need funds (which at least just happened 2-3 times only. damn xeroxed readings!). my luck ran strictly along those lines. whenever i'd run out of money for necessities, i played for the pot. not that we were hard-up, but i made it a point not to be a burden to my parents and go beyond my allowance. however, those readings and research projects really can cost a student a lot, so sometimes, i wouldn't have anything left for lunch or for fare going home. i walked home when i could, but having classes all day would drive me to play so i could have fuel for my brain. i'm not a hot shot player, but my luck would only work when i really needed the money...something along the lines of, when all else fails....and i'd win the pot. i just knew that if i played for profit or pushed the limit of my luck, i'd lose what i won. so i'd always quit while i was ahead. of course my opponents always wanted to win the money back and i'd get a stare down as i beat it out of there. still, they know i never play to rip them off. after all, i'm only following tradition. my dad did it, playing cards and shooting pool for food and fare, and so did my brothers. but always never for profit.

5. i like spaghetti noodles with kare kare and bagoong. nope, don't knock it til you've tried it. it's true pinoy pasta hehe! i first had this while infanticipating with Oona.

6. i am a frustrated violinist and ballet dancer. i can't play the instrument even if my life depended on one silken tone. and i have two left feet plus about a hundred pounds unsuitable for a tutu.

7. i wanted to be a pilot and an astronaut. buuuut i couldn't make the height requirement and all that math gave me vertigo.

8. the first dream i remember is about worms floating in my bedroom. i was about 3 years old at the time, my mom says. squiggly, sesame street worms floated in the dark. i kinda freaked out about it because i knew i was supposed to be asleep and worms didn't do that. let's not ask Freudian dream interpreters what that dream meant.

9. i'm a sucker for road trips. i love travel. if i can travel (in style of course!) for a living with my family in tow, i would! especially the beach. but i love mountains too. i think i'm at my most peaceful when i'm on the road. i'm lucky rf shares my joy of the open road. we try to indulge ourselves whenever time and money permit!

10. i am a die-hard, dyed in the wool, true blue romantic. i may be a liberated, opinionated, strong-minded woman of the latest independent breed who can outlast, outthink and outdrink most creatures of the other sex; but i love surprises, doors being held open for me and flowers on special occasions. i love walks in the park, sunsets, rose petals on my bed and a man who woos me and sweeps me off my feet. i read romance novels ( i love a good bodice ripping story) and swear solemnly by wine and candlelight dinners. poetry, handwritten notes and lazy afternoons with feathers rank way up there with a hot, sweaty salsa night and being kidnapped for a secret rendezvous.   

i now hereby tag MEC, Jonas, Johnny, Den, Jimbo, Jen Trajano, JenCC, Elapot, John Becaro, Pheng, Lette and Rei!