Sunday, September 19, 2010

Parallel Universes - What If?

Let's play pretend.

In a parallel universe far, far away, I am still single at 31. I may or may not have a steady boyfriend, but I sure am not lonely. I go out with friends, officemates or by myself to clubs on most nights just because I can. I'm a known regular, on first name basis with the doorman, bartender and staff of more than one bar and I have my own tab.

I'm an executive at an advertising agency or a production house. I do paperwork but can pull my own weight on the field. I secretly want to be Indiana Jones so I'm taking up my anthropology masters degree.

When I'm not at work, school or living it up, I can be found at home. I have my own pad. Small but all mine. Next door are my best friends. We bought the property and divided it among ourselves. I read, write, paint or draw when the muse so moves me. I enjoy a glass of wine on the patio and a good conversation when my friends are around as well.

On weekends, I go to the beach whenever I can. Surfing season finds me leaving work on Friday to head straight to the surfing camp four hours away. I arrive at night, have a good dinner and sleep til dawn when I wake to catch a good wave.

My family lives in the same house we've lived in since we were kids. I spend weekends there every other week or they go to the beach with me. I have nieces and nephews and godchildren galore so the family home is a riot especially on sundays.

I retire by 45, squirreling away funds to buy property and set up a business. I grow to a venerable old age living on an island 5 minutes by outboard from the mainland, surrounded by trees, ocean and my p's: poetry, pantings and pottery. I die peacefully in my sleep.

A nice, tidy, colorful existence. But no RF. And definitely a given, no Oona or Olly. I wouldn't even have known how it would feel to wake up at odd hours, be bone tired or as frustrated as Oona in the middle of a communication crisis. I won't worry about pedia visits, vaccines, hospitals or natural remedies. There would be no child-made messes, poopy diapers and I would always smell good. Not like right now, you'd know I'm *this* deep in milk, toddler snot and diapers!

But it would be a given too, that there wouldn't be good morning kisses or hugs just because. There wouldn't be silly nonsense games where you both end up laughing. No tickling before bed. No amazement at every little thing. No excitement and wonder that comes so easy for children and how generously they share it with you.

I guess it depends on how you look at it. On one hand, ignorance could be bliss. On the other, I may have lost something infinitely better and was never the wiser for it. Who knows?

Anyhoo, that's one parallel universe for me. I know I got a lot of alternate realities in existence out there.

So what's yours? :)


Mec said...

*teary eyed*

seriously, i really can't imagine living without my family anymore... i can't imagine NOT being who i am right now...

i did tell hubs before na I believed i'd have been happy with someone else (i always knew kasi i'd be married)... but i also strongly believe that i'd have a lot of moments of pause... because somehow, i'd feel there's something lacking, something not right...

'coz am really meant to be with him eh...

Joanne MV said...

Nice entry laya :)

maybe in the parallel universe, I'm about to get married in 2010. not sure with whom. if hubby patiently waited for me then, we still end up together.

I may have a business of my own and was able to work abroad. For some weird reason, I still can't see me having a kid yet. or maybe it's just me enjoying the moment of being childless.

Laya Isabelle Garcellano-Florendo said...

ay, i empathize with both of you! both ends of the spectrum, i know :P