On My Thirtieth, On My Godparents and Me

i have turned a grand, glorious old age this year! THIRTY! and as the way of the universe goes, it's a time for introspection for me, more than any other time. so many things have happened in the closing of my twenties that i really ought to be more depressed than jubilant.

for now, i want to share my ninang linda's birthday letter to me and my reply to her and my lupon (battalion) of godparents. it's my fondest wish that oona will have the same experience (oreven better) with her own set of godparents. my ninongs and ninangs have always managed to be part of my life in the truest sense of their being my godparents. it's not the gifts or monetary equivalent of their presence, but their guidance and involvement from the little things to the major events and milestones in my life. my ninang fe, ninang chi and ninong jun are even our ninangs and ninong at my wedding! i personally felt that it was just right that the people who were called to guide me would still be the ones to help us through another milestone in the life rf and i share.

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ninang linda is the ninang i saw least of all my fabulous ninangs and ninongs (most are from my parents' set of dear friends from the UP Mobile Theater). however, her birthday letter touched me deeply as it reflects the bonds we share as ninang and goddaughter. 

dear, dear laya:  

i was about your age when told by one of my own ninangs that she couldn't believe how the little doll she once held in her arms to receive the sacrament of baptism was now writing her...  

and such is the cycle of life.  it's our turn to tell you how hard it is to believe that the little girl who lay on my own baguio bed once now runs her own gig.  

happy birthday sweety, and have the best always.  

ninang linda

***

how long and short our lives really are and how incredibly they intertwine with people we love. having a child, i can only just imagine how i would feel when my own Oona turns thirty. how time flies, doesn't it? she made me so nostalgic and introspective . . . the right mood, i guess, for a soul-searching 30th birthday.

and here is my reply to her and the rest of my beloved ninongs and ninangs.

to my dearest, the most beautiful, talented, glorious and taray ninangs (and ninongs) ever (shempre nagmana ako and of course, ninong freddie is the tarayest of them all!),

thank you so much for the happy thoughts and birthday wishes! i truly felt the love across the digital space! we may not always have been present in the everyday aspects of each other's lives, but the grace of your presence/s has always managed to be felt. 

i find myself really amazed that i've been alive for thirty years. to some it seems the end of the world, leaving their twenties, but not so with me. i feel like the world is my oyster...again! it's funny, but i felt energized when i realized i made it to my "grand old age" (according to my soul sisters, of whom some are biologically boys), as opposed to pop culture where we're supposed to be depressed at the onset of the "mature years". what i can't believe is how excited i am about this next leg of my life adventure! my past year has been an uphill climb and still continues to be, but now it feels like the slow climb of a roller coaster before it dives for the mother of all loop-de-loops.

we, my friends and hubby, have decided to celebrate my 30th for as long as we possibly can. my dearest and bestest friends being scattered all over the globe, it's impossible to have a proper bash so we'll have to do it by installments. personally though, i plan to celebrate everyday. i've only started being thirty last night and my retrospection have only just begun so we figure it's going to take a full year (or more) for a proper festive celebration of what it means to me.

i expect a lot of changes in my life, a lot of letting go's and a lot of coming full circles. i can only thank the universe for the constancy of my roots, of which you are all an indelible part, that gives me strength and assurance in the cycle of life. i feel truly blessed to have been part of your lives from my very beginnings. through the wisdom of my parents (did i say that out loud?! hehehehe) that secured strong women, men and glorious gays in guardianship over me as my godparents, i can truly feel the touch of the goddess as i go through my own cycles as maiden, mother and far off into the future, as wise crone. 

so far, my hubby says he likes being married to a thirty-year old and my daughter doesn't seem to mind it when my knees are killing me and i can't crawl on the floor with her. i look forward to whatever my life is going to bring me from this point onward. i just know it's got to be more interesting, nerve-wracking and fulfilling as the previous years that have brought me here. it's already an auspicious start to the year when i realized i can now look down past my boobs to the floor without my tummy getting in the way! hah!

again, thank you for being part of my life, my ninangs and ninongs! i doubt my life would ever be the same without you.

love ever, 

your Laya

***

i may not know them all through and through, and they may not know me like my own parents do. but i know, that should anything have happened to my parents, none of them would have hesitated to have stepped into the myriad roles i would have needed in my life to grow into a person to be proud of. 

i hope, after thirty years of life, they can all look at me and say that the blessings they bestowed upon my infant head have truly been well-tended and fruitful. all i can say is i've certainly had one heckuva ride! :)

 

Creating A Home

It's not easy creating a home.

First you have a house and then there are the people. I'm just learning to put together the house, running the household and trying to turn it into a home.

While the people part of creating a home is a definite work in progress (and never ends), the house part so far is easy. As everyone knows, we're waiting for our unit at The Beacon to be finished. It's still under construction. Since our unit is somewhere around the 2*th floor, it would take awhile before the building's people will call us for our specifications. Nevertheless, I've been going around the net to gather as much visual pegs to help me make it one step closer to turning our future house into our future home.

A few months back I was into the general areas and appliances. Now I'm going into details with invaluable help from Lombok. I've run to their site time and time again whenever I'm looking for inspiration and ideas. They have such a wide selection of different styles that I'm sure anyone will be able to find something that would appeal to their sense of elegance and functionality. It's quite easy to browse through their user-friendly webpage too. Along with the sweet, simple and to-the-point descriptions, I especially love the photos they include with their products. Since I'm a visually oriented person, the tasteful photos showcase the items to their best advantage. It's easier to visualize the products where I want to put them in our future house.

A few examples of lovely finds are these photo frames. I think we're going to cover our walls with a mosaic of framed family and friends. It'll be a cool alternative to wall paper, cross-stitched pictures or posters. Set all over the house walls, one can follow a story and our family's history in unique frames that would reflect a photo's personality.

Lighting is also another detail I don't want to neglect either. I want to create the mood that our house is our family's sanctuary. I want a cozy ambiance with lamps to create nooks for personal space and general lighting fixtures that would pull everything together. The lamps here are perfect, from floor lamps to table or bedside lamps.

Of course, there has to be candles! In the bathrooms, in the kitchen and in the living room! Colorful, scented and potted (can't have wax on the lovely wood furniture we love!). With a child and more to come though, my candle dreams will have to be put safely higher than little arms can reach! But nevertheless, the candles will be there even if I can't light them often or when the kids are around.

Speaking of other accessories, you have to check these out! I just love a good bed to sleep and lounge in with layers of pillows and sheets and covers to get lost in! I want my family to be able to look forward to a good night's luxurious snuggle in quilts and downy comforters with a nice, firm cushion or two. Warm woods and these baskets would also give our house a homey feel and storage wouldn't be too much of an eyesore to have around.

The folks in the UK are really lucky! Ordering from this site's easy and delivery's free after a certain amount of purchases online. They do international deliveries with some coordination with a client's preferred shipping company though, so there's hope for us non-UK residents!

So far, the planning for The Beacon is going well. I just hope the final look of our place would truly live up to our expectations of what our home would be. RF and I have been looking forward to this since we thought of having our own place. And until we move in to a house that would truly be ours, we would always feel nomadic, waiting for the place we can really call our home.

Updates! Updates!

Yes. I still live and breathe, people.

Good god it's been more than a full month since I last wrote. As usual, a lot has happened and I barely had time to myself, let alone to open the computer for anything. Not that it's fixed, by the way . . . the computer has broken down MORE. I didn't think it could get more wasted than it already was, but apparently there was still room for more damage. In case you're wondering, I'm at my parents' house in QC (with Oona of course). Apart from the computer use, we're staying here to take a vacation from the long vacation. And did I mention Oona's huge, brand new canines? Yes. Teething and the holidays! What could be more perfect?

The holidays were fun, exhausting and a whirlwind of tinsel, wrapping paper and snot-filled tissue paper. The parties and family get-togethers were fun, Oona supplied the whirlwind of energy and RF and I were/are the exhausted.

RF had four office parties to go to with Oona and me in tow. We managed three before being too tired to do anything but flop around the house. Then there was the socializing with family and friends. In between schmoozing, RF came down with a bug. So naturally, Oona followed her Daddy into the sniffles with matching ginormous boogers. Who knew a nose that small could sport snot the size of quarry rocks? And of course, I faithfully followed my little family into sickness and slowly into health. Sleepless nights watching for hitches in breathing, turning over the little girl when she wakes herself up from a clogged nose or giving a back rub when the cough gets to be too much. Thank god she really does take after her Daddy's ridiculously strong constitution or else, I'd feared we'd end up giving her a vaporizer for Christmas by now. The bugs making the rounds nowadays are really nasty!

After she got well, we managed to go to Baguio for Oona's first road trip up there and experienced the famous 7.5 degree temperature drop! Having managed to survive that trip without anyone freezing to death or getting pneumonia, I would declare myself Queen of Anti-Freeze. Thanks to bundles of warm, knitted clothing and layers of warm cotton, we managed to enjoy the experience without losing digits to frostbite. We forgot to apply protection to our lips though so we had a bit of windburn there to deal with, but nothing that petroleum jelly or a Chapstick can't soothe and fix.

Our last leg of the holiday whirl, that last trip really took me out. Now, I have the flu to end all flu cases. My throat hurts, my lungs hurt, my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet and I generally feel like I got run over. Ten times. By a bus on EDSA. Ten frikkin' times because the driver backed up to make sure I was dead. Ironically I was invited to attend Nuffnang's Flu Vaccine Awareness Seminar, but I'm just too exhausted to go there and maybe sneeze at people. Er, schmooze. I meant schmooze with people.

So now, after having put the Oona to bed and unwinding for a few minutes before hitting the sack, I am of course wondering what the new year will bring my little family.

After all the excitement and spectacular highs and lows of last year, would it be too much to ask for a little steady, stable ground to stand on? Of course I'd love the classic health and wealth wishes too! But right now, I would like a little peace and quiet please. Some time to heal and regain strength and establish calm and serenity in our lives. I'm just way too tired and feeling sick to bite any more bullets and dodge spitballs.

Hopefully, this coming Year of the Ox would bring us that.

Christmas Is Around The Corner!

Whew! It's been a heckuva start for December! We gave up our yaya and then the family came down with flu. And we suspect Oona's teething again. She's been really cranky and clingy, refusing her usual solid foods, drooling a lot and sticking her finger in her mouth, rubbing her gums. We think her canines are about to make an appearance soon.

To top it off, the holidays are upon us and we haven't had much time to really get down to it. In truth, the holiday season starts really early in the Philippines. As soon as the -ber months hit, Christmas songs are starting to play and the malls have stuff for decor and presents lined up for Pre-Christmas Sale and promos. We only managed to buy a parol yesterday and materials for a DIY christmas wreath for the front door. The happy thing about shopping and decorating a little late is that we got everything on sale! Now, I have a really nice wreath done up the way I want for half the excruciating price if we bought it at the peak of the decorating season. We agreed christmas trees would be for when Oona's older and she can better appreciate it other than trying to pull down the pretty balls to see if they bounce.

Looks like this year, we won't be able to go crazy for presents like we used to when RF and I were still both working, childless professionals. (Nevertheless, it doesn't stop me from window-shopping!!!) Still, there are really great finds on foot and online. Landmark and SM are for shoppers like me with an eye for pretty stuff and a bargain. With a Christmas Sale going a dime a dozen in every mall and promos with freebies at almost every store, now's the time to go shopping! Go when it's not rush hour madness from 5PM til 8PM: lots of people, less time to choose items and sometimes, less chances of nabbing what you really like. The magic shopping time for me is as soon as the mall opens at 10AM until right before lunch time when the malls fill up with people trying to eat and shop at the same time before going back to work. Then again at around 2PM til 4PM, before people rush to the mall from school or work. Cabs are also easy to get at around those times. :D

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Speaking of presents and pretty stuff, Grow In Style invited me to check out their online store. I fell in love with their sweet Eco-friendly, Organic Diaper Cakes. For the uninitiated, Diaper Cakes are not edible cakes. They're constructed of diapers and other baby items put together in an adorable way. It beats having stuff in traditional gift boxes, you know. It not only looks good as a present for birthdays, baptisms, or the first hospital visit, it can even be the baby shower centerpiece if you want them to start early in style! It would even look good under the christmas tree! (I want one for my next bundle of joy, people! Hint! Hint!) :D

Diaper Cakes are so practical, bursting with items you and your baby needs but looking SO darn good, you'll have issues about pulling it apart. See? SEE? That on the left is the Buzzy Bee 4 Tier Diaper Cake. That's my favorite. And no, you really can't eat it.

This one comes with: Approximately 70 Size 1 Baby NatureCare Diapers, Organic Bumble Bee Cotton Teether by Under the Nile, Natursutten BPA Free Pacifier, 100% Organic Onesie, 100% Organic Thermal Receiving Blanket (measuring 30"x40"), 5 Piece Weleda Starter Kit, Buzzy Bee Storybook, and 2 Handcrafted Bumble Bee Alligator Clips (can be used as decorations or hair clips for a baby girl). You can even add your own surprises to be tucked within the cake itself!

Apart from the way the Grow In Style Diaper Cakes are made, I'm particularly happy about the fact that they're 100% Organic and Eco-friendly. You can use everything guilt-free! Their baby products are all made from natural ingredients, some are even hand-crafted. Toys and accessories use non-toxic paint and "guaranteed NOT to contain any harsh chemicals, parabens, BPA, PVC or phtalates". Weleda Baby Care Products were also chosen for these qualities. According to Grow In Style: "they protect the baby's skin using the gentlest and most natural ingredients, such as Calendula, beeswax and almond oil. The 5 Piece Starter Kit gives mom the opportunity to try out a variety of their products."

However, should you prefer the more traditional gift boxes, they still have goodies you can put together for thoughtful presents that show you care (Uyyy...Tag line!). And since all this is online, all you have to do is place your order and they'll deliver it to you or the recipient (if you're not able to give it personally). Yup, Ninongs and Ninangs, they do international orders! They're based in the US but shipping overseas is okay. (I'm not sure how long it takes to get to Manila though.)

All in all, do I think Grow In Style's got bang for your buck? Yes I do. It's all natural, very practical and very safe. They also look darn GOOD. So Go! Support Eco-friendly products! It's never too early to start kids on being earth-friendly either! Make a new Mom or Mom-to-be happy.

Sigh. As for us with toddlers nearing potty training, I guess we'll have to wait for the next baby to have the perfect excuse to expect or get ourselves a Diaper Cake! :D

FUN STUFF FOR MOM: Baby Astrology

you're nauseated, nothing settles you down and your hormones are giving you a heckuva rollercoaster ride. great news is, you're pregnant!

there's so much stuff on the net to help you have more fun if your hormones aren't driving you to be moving around or nesting. on the down times, here are a few places i checked out.

First up is Baby Astrology: What's your baby's sign?

Yes. I checked out Oona's Astrological sign one day that I was bored to death. Along with being named after strong women, I'm afraid we hit her with a double whammy to be a fierce little fighter with her Western astrological sign. At least her Eastern Birth year tempers it so we haven't had a really difficult time with our little Leo Piggy! Read on!

The Leo Baby is, above all else, loud! Forget sleep for the foreseeable future, Mom and Dad. This is a baby who must be heard and will certainly let everyone in their midst know what they want. Think center of attention, since there really is no other way for this tot!

> so true! she's a little dynamo! moving, moving, moving all the time! nobody goes to sleep before she does. the only way for us to convince her to go to sleep is to pull in the shades so this little sun-worshipper could rein in her energy for a bit to get rest in the afternoons. she doesn't know her own limits yet so we're teaching her to sleep at a certain time so that she won't over-exert herself and get cranky the entire day. she also loves noise, even in the dark, she would still play or sing or babble or carry a weird conversation with me (weird because she's got her own language and i can't understand it in a cerebral way). she expresses herself well, though...babbling, pointing at what she wants or dragging you to what she wants you to do or where she wants to go. at a year and three months, she uses her entire body for expression. but, no coherent speech in our language yet. all she's got is her own language and that bond we share with her. so far it works. she's also a true performer. being the center of attention, she's very gracious to her audience, pulling out all the stops on her cute tricks and adorable antics. thank god she behaves well whenever we're in public or with company...except when she's already stretched to tantrum-point (like any child) and even that hasn't happened beyond what I can count on one hand.

With a Leo baby as part of the plan, family life will revolve around this magnetic child. The Leo baby adores an audience, so it should come as no surprise that many of these tots go on to become stars of stage and screen. This babe is auditioning early on!

> Yep, she loves a good, appreciative audience. But I'm also glad she has enough independence and confidence to be able to play on her own. When there are people, she'll be her gracious little self, like a gracious little hostess entertaining guests at a dinner party. I haven't seen her be mean or selfish to anybody. She pulls out all her toys to share to the kids, even gives the adults a toy so they can share in the fun...she tries to give people a ten-cent tour of her favorite spots in the house or attempts to share her bottle. When she's tired, she'll be quiet or if she really doesn't feel up to it, she tells Mommy or Daddy or Lola in no uncertain terms (whimper...).

To that end, this is a child who is also competitive, so maybe they are prepping for that dog-eat-dog Hollywood whirl from day one. When in a play group or any social situation, the Leo baby will make friends easily and will thrive on the interaction, since being on-stage is where they're at. Even so, they will have a hard time sharing things, such as roles, responsibilities, and even toys.

>Hmmm...If I have anything to say about it, she will continue being the gracious and unselfish little girl that she is. A little competition is fine but I don't like brats and spoilsports. After all, I am an Aquarian and I live to break the mold. Above all else, I'm happy that Oona has a sunny disposition and nothing should ruin that...not childish selfishness or vanity at always being the center of attention. I don't want any shooting stars for my child, I want her to shine steady, strong and true. Light like that shines longer.

The King (or Queen) of everything they see, they will be the one making the rules, after all. To sum up, the Leo baby is the leader of the pack, loads of fun, and will expect to live in the most comfortable of kingdoms. Pity the parent who won't play along!

> She is certainly Princess-in-training-to-be-Queen-someday. But I hope we would be able to guide her to be a true Queen as her namesakes are: to emulate the best qualities of each, learn from their mistakes and avoid them and be strong where their frailties have weakened them. From myself, though I know I'm far from being the perfect specimen, I hope to help her along to learn from history and her own experiences. I am terrified, of course. This is huge. We can all only hope for so much for all our children. But that is what parents are for.

I never liked brats or the kids who can't control themselves. I'm no paragon of virtue but I'll be darned if I let Oona grow up to be a Queen and not deserve every bit of the good it means (and none of the bad).

Now on to Oona's Birth Year!

About the Pig Baby

Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac.

>WHOO-HOO!!! Great tempering agent to the aggressive Leo!

Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise).

> Hmm...must teach Oona value of simple living. After all, one can find elegance in simplicity. Think the Japanese way of life!

This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling.

> Bait ng anak ko! Buti na lang Leo sha so she won't be a push-over! Oona does love to laugh and see others laugh. She's generous with her smiles and her flying kisses.

A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner.

> Yup...Oona really is a generous little girl. Mental note: Must enroll Oona in aikido for proper ass-kicking training. You know, just in case. Still, I'm hoping that the Leo in her kicks in to balance this emerging magnanimity. I hope she can manage to be firm and giving without being a doormat like I was when I was younger.

Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.

> Must cultivate her innate qualities and balance it out with the Leo's love of social interaction.

The most compatible match for a Pig is the Rabbit or the Goat.

> Haha...tsaka na yang compatibility thing na yan! I'll deal with the matchmaking after seventeen years or so.

Of course RF and I believe it's in the upbringing how Oona's going to turn out. We both have high hopes and dark fears about ourselves as parents. I know we'll never be able to get rid of the feeling that we're responsible for this little being, because it's true. We brought her into the world, it's up to us to teach her how to get on in it. While there's no manual on how to raise a good person, it does help to have little things like these to contribute to how we could shape her character and how well she'll do later on.

Of course an astrological reading has to be more in depth to truly nail things down, but I don't mind a general overview. I still pretty much love surprises so I think it's no fun if at this point, I'll be neurotic enough to want to know everything about my daughter's fate and destiny, if such things can truly be 100% read in the stars. She'll have to figure out those things on her own, I believe. I won't be the kill-joy to deny her the adventure she'll be making of her own life. I'd like to help and be there along with her and be as surprised as she is at the wonders waiting for her.


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