Tuesday, June 26, 2012

To Be Ordinarily Extraordinary

Food for thought: There should be nothing "dakila" or extraordinary about being a good person. 

My Little People
It is what is naturally required of you as a decent human being to co-exist with your fellow creatures. It is supposed to be *the* normal. It is what you should be. Saying otherwise would imply that not being a good person is the norm and it takes extra effort to be good. Then again, as a sign of the times, being good is an extraordinary feat amidst all this negativity. That's so sad, isn't it? When we start out as pure innocent souls, we have to be exposed to what is bad, to "learn" to be good as we grow up. It turns out sometimes, that it's easier to be like everyone else than keep our inherent goodness intact. 

I think this is the biggest challenge as parents. When do we draw the line at teaching the kids what is not good while keeping their purity intact? You know, not giving them anything to need therapy for in the future. To risk potentially corrupting someone as innocent and trusting as a child just so you can be sure that they will survive in a cutthroat world...it really doesn't make sense. But it happens.

I really wish that the world we be a lot softer and full of round corners to minimize the bumps and scrapes. But we all know reality is just the opposite. We can only do our best, and then again only so much. Like I tell Oona, my four-year old little human, we can wish and wish for things we want but in the end, we have to do what we have to do!

I really can't shelter these girls from getting bumped and scraped as they navigate their growing up years, and I can't ensure that they'll only be surrounded by positive people and things all their lives. At the very least, I can do my best to equip them to deal with the bad stuff as best as possible. Let's face it, good people are getting harder and harder to come by and predators seem to be getting bolder and bolder. 

However, I'll *still* raise them as good people because that is what they should expect of themselves and others. That is what their normal should be. To still try to see the good, the bright, the beautiful, the sincere in everyone, in all situations, all the time. How to do that without falling into a pit of delusions, pretension and being taken for a rube is something I'll just have to hazard. Shifting gears at the drop of a hat shouldn't be too hard, I hope! 

For all else, I'll have them take up Aikido just so I can be sure they can land a good one should they ever be taken for dakilang fools that anyone can take advantage of. It's sad when just because you're nice makes you fair game.

Hay. Raising girls, so dang hard.

What do you guys think? Am I making sense or am I just a paranoid mom?


Ric / Life N Canvas said...

Amidst all the negativity around, I think it is still best to nurture 'goodness' among our children. You are right, raise them as good people because that is what they should expect of themselves and others. What you sow, is what you reap in the end.

tess said...

raising kids really needs a lot of attention. We are always scared of them being hurt or taken advantage of other people. Mine are all boys,I always hope that bullies will leave them away

leira said...

in general that's the challenge of every parent.. parenting is hard indeed

Franc Ramon said...

I believe that being a good person is always the right way even if its uncommon. Things indeed would be a lot tougher in the future as things get more complicated and the sad part is we can't always protect or shelter people we care about. There will always be bumps in the road that they have to take by themselves in order to be a lot tougher in life's journey. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just be around and give our support.

Dems said...

"It's sad when just because you're nice makes you fair game."

- in the point of view of a child, I've been in a couple of situations where I was taken advantage of because I was very nice. And all those times all I have was myself.

My grandma doesn't run out of advices naman. But then life is unfair.

I was raised (and still) by my grandma, even if I still have my mom.. my mom kasi is kinda.. "nag dadalaga" pa din until now. I wish she's more mature, especially we are four children :(

Carizza Chua said...

awww by reading this, i can tell you're a good mom. i hope your kids grow as nice as you are!

Aileen said...

I don't know much about parenting (yet) but I can imagine how hard (but fulfilling) it could be. :) I think you're doing a great job!

Teresa Martinez said...

If we can do everything to protect our children, we will. Since this is impossible, we can only try our very best to do what we can and hope that our children will know what to do when circumstances prevent us from coming to their immediate rescue.

^_^ wReY and R0bbY said...

I strongly agree with you mommy Laya.
Doing good deeds nowadays is "rarity" to most people.
Such a sensible post.
And yeah don't forget to enroll them to martial arts class! ヅ

P.S. I love your header photo. Ang kulet! hehehe...! ヅ

P.P.S. You have a new GFC follower #30. Hopefully you can follow us back.


Thanks! ヅ

Mai Flores said...

I think you're doing pretty well as a mom, Ate Laya! :) Glad to stumble into you here sa blogosphere and sa Filipino Bloggers Worldwide group. :) heheh!

Laya Isabelle Garcellano Florendo said...

@ric - yes, it's something that you just can't put aside just because it's "too hard". living with yourself when they don't turn out ok just because you didnt want to be bothered with the details is even worse!

@tess - true...unfortunately, there is no gender for bullying. both genders can be the victim and the agressor :( we can only equip them to deal with it the best way possible and as good people.

@leirs - true!

@franc - you're right :) that's why communication is important too or else they may not know how to ask for support when the bumps arrive!

@dems - HUGS...i know how you feel :( i wasn't taken seriously din just because i "look nice" daw and too young to know what i was talkng about. sadly, it left me so very insecure and fair game to bullies and other people with malicious intent. thankfully you have your grandma :) and people who care about us in our lives :) hug!

@carizza, thanks! i can only hope to be good enough for them so that they may grow up to be good people :)

@aileen - thank you! i know your kids (when they arrive) are going to be as lucky to have you as you are to have them!

Sarah Olayvar said...

I and my friend just had a conversation on how to raise our girls. Though we ended up in a conclusion that there's no handbook for it but like you we feel the same way. We will just do our best to let them be what they will be but would always be on the guide in their decisions.Nice wrte-up for discussion.:))

beingwell said...

You're a very lucky mom!

Rizza (beingwell)

Laya Isabelle Garcellano Florendo said...

@teresa...agree! especially since we can't be around forever :)

@wrey and robby - aikido! aikido! and maybe how to run baddies over with motorbikes? :D heheh sayang ang big bike!

@mai - thanks so much! great to see you again after all these years! :D

@sarah - thank you! i wholeheartedly agree! :D

Angie Vianzon said...

I am actually new with the parenting department and having a 2 year old and a 6 months old is sometimes a riot for me. I'm still learning but I know that one of the challenges of being a mom or a parent is really hard.

AJ said...

I'm with you in equipping your little humans with tools and skills to survive the harsh realities of the world. Goodness is not about being a doormat. It is compassion, not martyrdom. There is such thing as righteous anger. Even Jesus lost his temper upon seeing merchants at the temple. :)

Sumi Go said...

Don't worry sis, I think you're not being paranoid. With a world such as ours, it's really hard not to think about these things especially when you're a parent. Actually, even if I'm not a parent myself yet, I already think about these things. I'm fortunate to have parents who molded me to what I am now. But actually, when I think about it, they too have shown a darker side of them. In a nutshell, I don't have an idea too how to raise my future children while maintaining a balance of teaching them to be good, but also to be tough.

Anyway, I'm sure you're girls will grow up as good and wise ladies.. :) Especially when you've given much thought about raising them to be one.

msairrapingol said...

I haven't experience being a parent yet.. so this is a new and surprising post for me, I actually like reading the comments as well.

MaryJane Tauyan said...

true indeed being a mother i very hard you don't know where to draw the line of being a good mother of how your going to teach your kid to defend themselves when someone always bully them. since we don't want our kids to cry and be bullied we have doubts on how to tell them to fight for their own. xx

Kalabasa K. Kamote said...

Goodness is innate to people. It's up to parents to help children to maintain that goodness. You're doing a good job. :)

Gemma| My Dailies said...

I guess that's part of living on earth.. constant change, constant movement, constant moving forward.. we just do what we can whatever we know best and then with faith, trust that it'll all be good. :)

Rossel said...

It's true that we can't always protect our loved ones and it is sad to think of the days that we can no longer be there to care for them.

Nickle love said...

First of all, love the header, it's so cuuuute!

Second, your kids are adorable. :D

Third, parenting is indeed hard. I can't imagine myself being a mother. My mom would say though that I'd make a good one because she raised me well. LOL

Laya Isabelle Garcellano Florendo said...

thanks for visiting and the insights guys! as parents, we can only do our best for our kids and god will do the rest! :D