Friday, June 22, 2012

Thank God For My Little Girls

Whenever I feel depressed that the world seems to have forgotten my contributions to it and people I felt were my friends but end up betraying my faith, I am reminded that life isn't all that bad when my girls crowd me like they're doing now, in bed, sweetly sleeping.

Today I am a mother and a wife, but ten years ago, this was not the future I thought I would have. Having just come out from film school, I was working for my parents' advertising and production house. We made children's television programs but at first I was more involved with the advertising branch of the business. I really hadn't figured out what career direction I wanted to go and I was just in the middle of figuring out myself and owning my independence.

All I wanted then was to have a steady paycheck to pay rent and have something to put aside for weekend beach getaways, nights out and spas. Getting married was a nice romantic thought but we couldn't afford it yet. I don't think I was ready at that point either.

I think I was still hanging on to the great Art dream I had. I was reluctant to acknowledge that sometimes, talent had to be price-tagged properly (I never knew how to charge for freelance jobs) and marketing oneself, though sometimes distasteful to purists, is necessary for survival. So, I never really got anywhere much by status quo standards. No art show, no book, no film.

I did manage to accumulate a lot of geekiness by way of the post-production department though, where I ended up in. I edited, animated, did after-effects, sound, graphics and some directing. I even did voice overs for a pet show we produced. I was a one-woman post production team sometimes.

I was tired but I enjoyed myself. I was proud I could do what I did and I was mostly self taught.

Unwinding after three days of no sleep would find me at the bar where I would meet up with my best friend. At the time, she was still studying for her foreign service exams and us both being frazzled because of the stress, and broke because artist/entrepreneurs and government employees aren't paid much, we'd split a huge mug of discount beer and a pack of cigarettes, talking it out.

It seems a far cry from where I am now. But not one whit less fulfilling.

Where are you in your journey?